


Law and Order: Once Upon A Time Season One

by herblondetoy



Series: Law and Order: Once Upon A Time [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Child Abuse, Family, Healing, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:20:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23867407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herblondetoy/pseuds/herblondetoy
Summary: Five year old Emma Swan has been through hell and back in her short life. Chance has her meet Olivia Benson and the woman quickly falls for the little girl. She takes her in, provides safety and love for her. But is it too much? Will Emma's past that causes her nightmares and behavioral issues be too much for Olivia? **Trigger Warning** There is a lot of talk of abuse in this.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Amanda Rollins
Series: Law and Order: Once Upon A Time [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720072
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

_**Read~Enjoy~Review** _

**Chapter 1**

Olivia Benson got out of her car and sighed. Another case closed yesterday and another bad guy behind bars. The woman could not try and put the events behind her and move on to the next case. The brunette was about to sit at her desk when she saw a small blonde child in the corner. She was curled up on a chair with her head tucked into her arms on her knees. Olivia could see the girl was obviously neglected; dirty legs, bare feet that looked cut and bruised, matted hair, bruised arms. The girl jumped when Olivia softly touched her arm.

"It's okay, honey. I won't hurt you. I'm Olivia. What's your name?"

Olivia could see fear and doubt in those sunken green eyes that were looking at her. If she had to guess, she'd bet this girl had only known hurt in her life. She knelt down and gave a kind smile, trying to reassure the girl.

"I'm Emma."

It was barely a whisper, but Olivia heard it. Everything inside her wanted to just wrap her arms around this girl and make her feel safe. Olivia had worked with many children, and felt the need to protect them before, but something was different about this one; this Emma.

"Hi Emma. Are you hungry?"

Olivia knew not to push too much too fast. She had to get the girl to trust her first. Emma's stomach answered for her which caused the girl to blush and nod shyly.

"Come with me, Emma. I have some grapes and I'll order a pizza. I know it's early, but all kids like pizza."

Olivia held her hand out, but Emma backed away, shaking her head, her eyes filled with sudden tears.

"I didn't do nothing. I promise, I didn't do nothing."

Olivia's heart broke and she sat by Emma, softly putting a hand on her back, taking a breath when she could feel all of Emma's ribs.

"Honey, I know you didn't do anything. I just want to help you. I won't hurt you."

Emma sniffed and looked up at the woman. "You aint gonna lock me up?"

"No sweetie. Why would I do that?"

"The lady that broughted me here said you would lock me up for running away." The girl looked down at the floor. "I had to run away though. I had to."

Olivia softly touched Emma's hair. "I'm not locking you up, Emma. I promise."

The woman went to her desk to order a pizza for them. Emma watched her and stood up, slowly walking towards her. Olivia hung up the foon and stood to go back to Emma. "I have a room with toys we can go to."

"Well, who do we have here?"

Emma's eyes went wide hearing a man's voice behind her. She turned pale and ran behind Olivia, clinging to her. "Don't let him hurt me. Please."

Olivia put an arm around the girl. "Shh Emma. It's okay sweetie. This is my partner, Nick Amaro. He won't hurt you."

Emma curled up under Olivia's desk, rocking back and forth. "They all say that. They all hurt me."

Amaro didn't want to push her, he could tell the girl didn't trust men. "I'm going, Emma. I hope you let Olivia help you."

"Nick wait. Emma? What is your last name, honey?"

"Swan."

Olivia looked at Nick who nodded and went to find what he could on Emma Swan. The woman sat on the floor and held her hand out to Emma. "Please trust me, Emma. I really want to help you."

Emma looked out from under the desk. She was scared, hurt, cold, and confused. She wanted to trust the woman, to believe maybe she cared, but it was hard. Emma was so tired of being scared, she wanted so badly just to feel safe. The girl had forgotten how it felt to be relaxed, what it felt like to not have her stomach in knots. She teared up and started crying, not able to help herself.

Olivia knew Amanda and the others would be coming in soon. She didn't want Emma to feel on display. She gently pulled Emma into her arms and rubbed her back. At first, Emma was stiff, but the girl soon relaxed in the embrace, resting her head on Olivia's shoulder as she tried to stop crying.

"Let it out, sweetie. If you need to cry, you cry." Olivia took Emma into the room they had for children. She sat on the couch and the girl stayed on her lap. After a few moments, Olivia felt Emma breathing steadily and saw she was asleep. She laid the little girl on the couch and covered her up, noting more fresh bruises on her neck.

The detective came out as Amaro put a file on her desk. "This is her file? She can't be more than seven. Why is it so thick?"

Amaro sat down and opened it "She's five. Been in foster care for two years. keeps getting passed around. Looks like 20 homes in two years."

Olivia took the file and paged through it, her head shaking. "Given up because adopted parents had their own child. A slew of temporary homes. Abuse, neglect, more abuse, ra...rape?" Olivia sighed as she read it. "Raped on her fourth birthday. At least that sick bastard is in jail. Five years old and scarred from the world she's so fearful of."

"Why is she here?"

"I don't know. She said a lady brought her here after she ran away. That's as far as I got, other than she's terrified, dirty, and hurt. She has cuts and bruises all over."

Amanda came in with a pizza and put it on Olivia's desk. "Just cheese? I thought you liked the works."

"I do, but I don't think a five year old will. Thank you."

Olivia took the pizza into the room and Amaro filled Amanda in on what was going on.

"Emma, honey? Pizza is here." Emma smelled the pizza and woke up. She couldn't even remember the last time she ate. Sitting up, she looked at Olivia.

"I aint got no money to pay for it."

Olivia put a piece on a plate for the girl. "Lucky for you then, this is free."

Emma came over and sat at the table. The pizza smelled so good, she couldn't argue and not take it. She took a big bite, not caring that it was hot.

"Don't choke." Olivia took a bite of her own and offered Emma a juice box.

"Thank you."

"You're more than welcome."

Emma finished her piece and started another.

"Emma? Did you know the lady who brought you here? Was she your foster mother?"

Emma shook her head. "No. She saw me under a bench and made me come with her. She said I was an animal and needed to be locked up."

"Well that wasn't nice for her to say, nor is it true. However, I'm glad she brought you here. What I'm curious about is why you ran away?"

Emma swallowed her bite and looked down. "I never done it b'fore, but he really hurted me an I didn't want him to do it again. Not like the other man."

Olivia felt sick suddenly. "Who did?"

Emma kept her eyes down as she picked at her pizza. "Mr. M."

"Is Mr. M your foster father?"

Emma nodded, the tears forming in her eyes again. Olivia put her hand on Emma's arm. "I know it's hard and scary. Please trust me, Emma. It's my job to keep kids like you safe."

Emma was still hesitant as she looked at Olivia. "I tolded my social worker, but she didn't believe me this time. She said I was a trouble maker."

Olivia gave the girl a soft smile. "I believe you, Emma. No matter what you say."

Emma took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I went to Mr. M's two months ago. I remember because it was the day after my fifth birthday. Mrs. M was very nice, but very quiet. She gets headaches a lot and made me stay outside all day so she could rest. I think she forgets about me cuz I get so hungry and hot. I don't like the chain she makes me wear around my ankle either."

Olivia had unfortunately heard these stories before, but for some reason, this one was making her more upset than the others. Amanda was watching as she read the girls file, and even she noticed how affected Olivia seemed to be. She knew this case would be a top priority, but she couldn't help but smile as she watched Olivia with the girl.

"Is that how you got those cuts on your feet?"

Emma nodded and took a drink of juice.

"How did you get those bruises? From Mrs. M.?"

"Both of them. She hits my legs with the broom and he...he hurts me really bad."

Olivia saw the look on Emma's face and while she didn't want to push her, she needed to know.

"How does he hurt you, Emma?'

"He hits me and pushes me and..." Emma closed her eyes, her voice not much more than a whisper. "He touches me in bad places and makes me touch him."

Olivia kept her hand on Emma, comforting her. She reached for some dolls and gave them to Emma. "What places, Emma? Can you show me?"

Emma took the dolls. "This is me. He ties me to the bed." She took the other doll and acted it out as if he was hitting the other doll. Then she had the Mr. M doll touch the Emma doll between it's legs. The little blonde had tears in her eyes as she had the dolls act out the various sexual acts Mr. M had done to her.

Olivia's heart broke and she went to Emma and rubbed her back. Amanda closed her eyes and shook her head. This girl was too young to have not only been raped once, but twice. Some parts of the job were harder than others; this was one of them.

"Emma, you have been such a brave girl. We need to go to the doctor and make sure you're okay." Olivia could see the fear once again in Emma's eyes and she cupped her cheeks. "I'll come with you. So will Amanda. She's another partner of mine. I know it's scary, but we will be with you."

Emma nodded and hugged herself. "Olivia? Where am I gonna go after that?"

"What do you mean, sweetie?"

"Am I going back with Mr. M?"

"Never. I have to work with your social worker on where you will go."

"Will it be a good home? I will be a good girl. I promise."

"I know, baby girl. You are a good girl. I will make sure it is a good home."

Olivia took Emma to the bathroom to clean up while Amanda did her best to find shoes in the lost and found. There were a pair, a little too big, but they would work. She also found a sweatshirt for the girl.

"All I could find is a green sweatshirt, but it will fit." Emma looked at the blonde and softly smiled.

"That's my favorite color!"

"Well how lucky is that? These shoes will be a little big, but lets get them on anyway." Emma let Amanda help her; she felt comfortable with her. Olivia noted that Emma seemed to be more comfortable around women. She called the hospital to be sure a woman doctor would be available.

Emma was quiet during the ride as she fidgeted with her hands. Walking in, Emma would have been more nervous if Olivia wouldn't have had her hand comfortingly on her shoulder. Emma was brought into a room and while she changed into a gown Olivia told the doctor everything she knew. Emma sat on the cold bed, slouched over as if trying to hide.

"Emma? I'm Dr. West. I know this is scary, and this room is cold, but I promise to make this as comfortable as I can." Emma looked at Olivia and Amanda who gave soft smiles and sat down.

"Okay. I guess."

Dr. West started her exam; taking notes and pictures. She looked at her arms, feet, legs and head first. "Emma? Do you go outside barefoot?"

Emma nodded. "I don't got no shoes."

"You have some bad cuts. Do your feet hurt?"

"Yeah, but I gotta suck it up."

"I have some lotion that will help, but first we have to clean up your feet and legs. It may sting a little, but it will hurt worse if we don't clean them and they get infected. Do you know when you last took a bath?"

Emma shook her head. "Mr. M didn't let me was unless he was home. But when he was home, he hurt me and I runned away."

Dr. West looked at Olivia who nodded. "It's okay, Emma. We'll get you cleaned up. But first, I need to do a test that may feel uncomfortable, but we need to do it."

Emma looked at Olivia who stood and rubbed the girls back. "Because of how he hurt you, we need to make sure you're okay down there. I'll hold your hand, it will be okay."

Emma didn't want to do it. She didn't want anyone touching her. Dr. West got the rape kit out and showed Emma how things work. "I know this isn't fun, Emma, but it has to be done in case there's something that can make it worse."

Emma remembered this from before and knew it would hurt. But she nodded and laid back, holding Olivia's hand. Dr. West did everything she could to make Emma comfortable. This was the youngest patient she ever did a rape kit on. Emma's eyes shut tightly and tears escaped as she gripped Olivia's hand.

"It hurts! I don't like it!"

"I know, baby girl. It's almost over." Amanda came over and took Emma's other hand.

"Such a brave girl you are. Your favorite color is green. What is your favorite shape?"

Emma took a breath and focused on Amanda. "Um. A Star."

"A star? That's a good one. Mine is an octagon - because it's fun to say. Octagon."

Emma giggled a little. "Octagon. That is fun to say!"

Olivia smiled hearing Emma's giggle and was thankful Amanda was there. She didn't really know how to feel about the blonde southerner who transfered here a few moths ago, but she was really showing they made the right choice bringing her to NYC SVU.

"All done Emma. What a brave girl you are."

Emma sat up as Dr. West packaged the kit and washed her hands. "Olivia? Can you come with me while I get what I need to was our brave girl up?"

Olivia kissed Emma's forehead and nodded. "I'll be right back."

"Okay."

Amanda sat by Emma and continued talking about shapes as Olivia walked out with Dr. West. "Please tell me you have the bastard."

"Not yet. Nick is working on it. Is it bad?"

"Olivia, I've never seen anyone so young be that bad. Bruising, tearing, stretching. That little girl may never have children. Add to that her scrapes, bruises, cuts...Olivia, this girl has been through hell and that's only the physical part. I cannot even imagine the psychological and emotional damage done to her."

Olivia listened and crossed her arms, deep in her own thoughts as well. "It's over. She's away from them."

"And where to next? We both know how this works."

"I'll take her in myself if I have to. I am foster care certified."

"I know. I just can't bare to see her get hurt again. I know you feel the same."

"I do. We see all these cases, but there's always one that just eats at you."

"This is one of those. After today, that girl deserves a lolipop to say the least."

Olivia chuckled. "Oh she will get more than that."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Read~Enjoy~Review** _

Emma looked at Amanda as the other women were in the hall. "I'm scared."

"Of what, honey?"

"If I has to go to a new home. I never know the rules, but I has to follow them. I always get yelled at, but I really try. I has scary dreams, and when I wake up, they all mad at me for screaming. I don't like going because once I get used to it, they hurt me or send me away. They all say I is trash 'cuz my parents left me on the side of the road when I was a baby."

Amanda pulled Emma close, knowing she had just poured her heart out to her. Neither one of them noticed Olivia come back in the room.

"Emma, don't listen to them. You are not trash and you are not bad. No one can follow rules if they don't know them. Honey, I know Olivia, I can tell you that she will make sure you go to a warm, safe, loving home no matter how long it takes."

"But where will I go until then? I don't wanna stay in jail."

Olivia came over and chuckled a bit.

"You can go to a group home. Or, if you want, I can see if you can come stay with me."

Emma's eyes lit up and she sat up taller.

"Really?! You mean it?!"

With a smile, Olivia nodded.

"I do mean it. I have a room for you and I do have some vacation time. If I have to work, my neighbor is a kind woman who watches kids."

"Oh 'Livia! I'm so happy!" The little blonde hugged the woman tightly.

"I'm glad I've made you happy. You deserve it. Now, stay here with Amanda and let Dr. West do what she needs to while I make some phone calls."

"Okay, 'Livia! I will!"

Olivia stroked Emma's cheek and went to make her calls as Dr. West came back. "Well you seem happier, Princess."

Emma nodded with a huge smile. "I gets to stay with Olivia!"

"Well aren't you lucky?!"

"Very lucky!"

"Let's get you cleaned up so we can finish the check up then. I know Olivia will give you a nice bath at home, but I'd still like to clean some of these cuts up."

"Okay."

Dr West started with Emma's legs and feet. The blonde would wince and hiss, but never cried. Once her legs, feet, and arms were clean, Dr. West had Emma take her gown off so she could look at her back. Dr. West gasped at what she saw, which made Emma sit lower just as Olivia came back in the room.

"Emma? What happened?"

Olivia and Amanda went over and looked and were both shocked.

"My foster mom two homes ago did that when I didn't follow the rules. First she hit me with a cord, then she..." Emma swallowed, remembering. "She got bored and wanted to draw a picture, but didn't have a marker."

Olivia shook her head as anger filled her. She made a mental note to find out who did this.

"What did she use?" Amanda asked, not sure if she really wanted to know.

"A paper clip. She made it hot with a lighter. I screamed so much that she stuffed her sock in my mouth. I don't remember anything after that until I woke up the next day."

Dr. West ran her fingers along the lightly scarred skin. It was a rough drawing of a house with stick people outside. She clenched her jaw as she cleaned Emma's back, after taking pictures of it. Olivia didn't know what was worse; the crude drawing, or the fact that she could still tell where the little girl was whipped with a cord. Olivia stepped in front of Emma and cupped her cheeks, looking in her eyes.

"No one deserves this, Emma. You are a good, beautiful girl and these bad people will be punished." Olivia ran her thumbs over the girls tears, her own threatening to escape. "Never again, Emma. Never again."

Once the exam was done, cuts were gauzed, and Emma was basically clean, Amanda helped the girl get dressed as Olivia and Dr. West stepped outside.

"Olivia, take that girl to eat, give her a bath, wash her hair, and cuddle her tight. I'd also recommend a psychologist, which I'm sure you've already thought of."

"I'll do all that and yes, I've already called one."

"I'm not a phycologist, but knowing what I know, be ready for nightmares and angry outbursts, probably some emotional outbursts in general."

Olivia nodded. "I'm ready. I'll greet any of those with hugs and comfort."

Dr. West smiled and touched Olivia's arm. "Keep me in touch. There's something special about that girl. Oh and I have everything documented as well as photographed. When you go after these bastards, I'll be more than happy to release the info and testify."

"I'll keep in touch, and thank you. I do wonder about those scars on her back. Is there anything that can be done?"

"Do you know how long ago that would have been? Two foster homes ago can vary."

Olivia looked at her records. "Well, two homes ago was about four months ago."

"Then she has a couple of good things going for her. It has already faded a bit. She's young, her skin heals better than ours. Also, I prescribed some ointment for her legs that also help scarring. Use that on her back. Unfortunately, there's no way to say that they will completely go away, but at the very least, they will fade."

Olivia took the prescription and nodded, thanking the doctor. Amanda and Emma came out and Olivia handed Amanda Emma's folder.

"I have the rest of the day off. Do you mind bringing this to Nick?"

"No problem. You two have a good afternoon. I can't wait to see you again, Emma."

"Bye, Amanda. See you later."

Dr. West knelt down and hugged Emma. "Don't hate me, Emma. I know it hurt today, but I had to do it to make you better."

Emma hugged her back and then looked at her. "It's okay. You didn't mean to hurt me."

"You go and have fun with Olivia and take care of your cuts."

"Okay, Dr. West. Have a good day."

Olivia took Emma's hand and they walked out. Emma gripped at Olivia's hand as if it was her lifeline, and maybe right now, it was. Olivia wanted to make sure Emma knew she was safe now.

"Do you think you can eat now, Emma, with out getting sick?"

"If we don't gotta talk 'bout Mr. M. He makes my tummy hurt."

"We won't talk about him for the rest of the day. We'll go and eat and then go get you some new clothes."

Emma stopped in her tracks. "My blanket!"

"What blanket?" Olivia could tell Emma was on the verge of a breakdown. She brought her over to a bench and pulled her into her lap, trying to calm her before it got worse.

"Oh I'm so stupid! I never left my blanket before and I didn't bring it! I had it since I was a baby, they found me in it. It's all I have...the only thing that is really mine." Big, thick tears filled Emma's eyes as she looked at Olivia.

"It sounds really important. Is it with Mr. M?"

The girl nodded, hiccuping a bit as she was trying hard not to cry. Olivia looked at her and wiped her tears.

"Let's go get it."

"Wh...what? I no wanna go back!"

Olivia looked at her and kissed her temple. "You don't have to. My partner Nick went to get Mr. and Mrs. M and has your blanket and some other things. I wanted to surprise you."

Emma took some deep breaths to relax. All she cared about is that she'd have her blanket. "Where did Nick take Mr. and Mrs. M after get gotted them?"

"Right now, they're at the station. Emma, let's not talk about them. Nick will bring your things to my place. Where's your favorite place to eat?" Olivia didn't want to tell Emma that she would have to talk more about what happened to her. Right now, she wanted to focus on making the girl feel better.

Emma shrugged. "I never been nowhere. I like noodles."

"Noodles, hm? You ever had Chinese before?"

"No. They got noodles?"

"They do. I know the best place."

Emma sat back in her chair, three empty plates in front of her. "Those was good noodles!"

"They were. Don't tell me your tummy is too full for ice cream."

Emma poked at her stomach, feeling around a little. "I don't know. It's pretty full."

Olivia smiled watching her. She was really such an adorable little girl. How could anyone be mean to her? "Maybe we should go get you some new clothes and then get ice cream."

"Olivia, you don't gots to do all this for me. I don't gotta have all this stuff. Maybe you won't like me in a few days and all this would be a waste."

Olivia knew Emma was talking from experience and that broke her heart. "Honey, there is no chance that I won't like you. I promise, nothing is a waste with you. I want to make sure you're happy like you deserve. If I want to buy you ice cream, I will. Now, let's go get some new clothes."

Emma couldn't remember the last time she got new clothes; probably not since she was a baby. She couldn't believe all the clothes she was getting. She probably had enough to wear a new outfit every day for three weeks! She picked out a green shirt with a heart on it and a pair of jeans to wear; her old clothes getting thrown away. She got socks, shoes, and underthings to wear as well. She didn't understand why Olivia insisted on buying her five pairs of shoes, but she didn't argue.

After shopping, the two stopped for ice cream Emma was just about finished when her cone slipped and fell into her lap. Right away she burst into tears. "I sorry! Please don't be mad, I so sorry!"

Olivia cleaned up the ice cream and never lost her soft smile. She pulled Emma into her arms and lifted her chin, seeing such fear in those green/blue eyes. "I'm not mad, sweetie. It was an accident. It's okay."

Emma started breathing hard as her panic attack started and Olivia just rubbed her back. She had never seen such a young child have a panic attack before and part of her wanted to just gather up all the assholes who made Emma like this and lock them away forever.

"Emma, honey, I promise it's okay. Calm down, love. Deep breaths."

"Maybe this will help."

Emma looked up and saw Nick with her blanket. He knelt down and handed it to her. She slowly took it and tucked it between herself and Olivia as a pillow. "Thank you." The whisper was soft, but Nick heard it. He tentatively put his and on her back as comfort.

"Don't you worry, little one. Olivia will never be mad at you or hurt you. I saw where you lived, and you won't live like that anymore. Those people can never hurt you again."

Emma relaxed and started breathing normal. "They won't? Is they mad at me?"

Nick sat by Olivia and Emma lifted her head so she could loo at him. He touched her cheek softly and noticed her flinch a little. She looked down, she didn't mean to flinch.

"I'm sorry."

Nick smiled with his kind eyes and shook his head. "Don't be sorry. You've been through a lot. I'd be surprised if you didn't act scared, Emma. They won't ever see you again, they can't hurt you. It doesn't matter if they're mad at you, you did nothing wrong. We're mad at them. Emma we are so mad at them for what they did to you. You did nothing, absolutely nothing wrong."

Emma listened to him as she rubbed her blanket on her cheek, smelling it. "It smells good."

Nick smiled wider; this was a good start. "I washed it for you. It's nice and soft again."

"I like it. Thank you."

Emma laid her head back down on Olivia's shoulder. The girl had had a long day, and she was tired.

"Thank you, Nick. I think this little one is ready for bed."

"I think you're right. I do have things to talk to you about, but they can wait."

"I'll call you when she's settled in."

"Alright. You have a good night, Emma."

"Thank you, Nick."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Olivia took Emma home and her door man helped her get both Emma - who was now almost sleeping - and her bags to her apartment.

"I know you're tired, Emma, but how about a bath first? Wash your hair and get you all cleaned up before bed."

Sleepily, Emma nodded and took her shoes off. "Then you can tell me the rules so I don't make no trouble."

Olivia picked the girl up and took her to the bathroom. She started the water and turned to help Emma undress. Even though she saw her at the doctor, she still hated seeing how thin this girl was, how malnourished and abused she was. It broke her heart, but she couldn't show it.

"There's only a few rules, and I know you won't cause trouble. No answering the door unless I ask you to. No leaving by yourself. No being scared to tell or ask me anything. If you need anything, just ask."

Emma stepped into the deep tub, wincing a bit as the water hit her scratches. "That's it? That seems too easy."

Olivia sat on the floor by the tub, the removable shower head in her hands, and rinsed Emma's hair. "Things may come up, but mostly I just want you to know that you're safe now."

Emma was quiet as Olivia washed her hair. She smiled softly hearing the woman quietly hum as she closed her eyes. No one had ever taken care of her like this. She washed her body and tried not to hiss to much when she washed her cuts. Once she was done, Olivia wrapped a towel around Emma and took her to the spare room. She patted the bed and Emma sat down. Gently, Olivia put more lotion on Emma's legs and feet.

"Is this your room?"

"No, honey, it's your room. Mine is just across the hall."

"This whole room is mine? I never had a whole room or even a whole bed to myself before!"

"You do now, and when we get more settled in, we can decorate it however you want. If you get scared, you can always come into my room."

Olivia got Emma's new pajamas out and helped her get the bottoms on. She then sat behind her and put some lotion on her back before putting her pajama shirt on.

"They smell so good!"

"They do. I love the smell of new clothes. Now, let's brush out your pretty hair."

It took a while, but soon enough, Emma's blonde locks were once again shining and tangle free. Olivia put two french braids in and kissed Emma's head. Emma leaned back into Olivia's arms.

"Can I ask you something, 'Livia?"

"You sure can, precious."

"Does it make me a bad person if I still feel scared?"

Olivia laid Emma down on the bed and tucked her in, laying next to her. "You're not a bad person. You have lived a scary life. So many people have hurt you. It's perfectly normal for you to feel scared or worried. Tomorrow, we're going to see a doctor, a special doctor who helps with how you feel."

"More doctors? I'm not even sick."

Olivia chuckled. "I know honey, but do you like feeling scared and worried?"

"No."

"Do you like bad dreams?"

"No."

"That's what this doctor would help you with."

"Okay. I guess that's good."

Emma pulled her blanket up and cuddled with it. "Will you stay here until I fall asleep?"

"I'd love to." Emma sat up and hugged Olivia tightly.

"Thank you for saving me." She whispered before laying on her stomach, her blanket in her arms.

"You're welcome, angel." Olivia hummed softly as she rubbed Emma's back.

It didn't take long before Emma was sleeping and Olivia made sure she was covered up. She left a soft lit lamp on and went out to the living room. Pouring herself a glass of wine, she sat down before calling Nick.

"Little one sleeping?"

"She is for now. I'm expecting her to maybe be up a few times tonight."

"Probably. After seeing where she lived, I wouldn't doubt it. But, I do have some good news. Mrs. Monterelli, better known as Mrs. M, confessed to everything causing Mr. M to do the same. As long as they don't change their minds, Emma won't have to testify."

"That's great, Nick. Really. I'm still going to have Dr. Mason talk to her during her sessions with Emma about it. The M's aren't the only ones who hurt her."

"I know. Amanda found Jane Davis, the paper clip artist. She's not as cooperative, so that one is questionable."

"She found her? That's great. To be honest, Emma has been through so much. I think we have the ability to record her testimony. I want them punished, but there's only so much a five year old can take, and she has to be at that point."

"I agree. Her file makes me sick, and that's just what's documented. Take time, Olivia, you have more than enough saved up and Emma is top priority. I can't explain it, but she has really touched us all."

"I will Nick. I feel the same way. Is there anything on record about her birth parents?"

"Nothing. It's like she just appeared. Found on the side of the road in her blanket. She got her name because the blanket says 'Emma' on it and there's a picture of a swan. Emma Swan. Her blood doesn't match anyone in the system. Could have been Amish I suppose. It's odd that her mother would make such a beautiful blanket and just leave her. No missing persons reports around the time of her birth either.

"It could be that maybe her mother didn't have a choice. I agree with you though. That blanket, it wasn't made with intentions to be deserted. I can't think that life would have been any worse for her with her mother."

"Maybe. But we don't know that for sure. Olivia? Have you started looking at foster homes?"

"Nick, it hasn't even been a full day. Besides, she trusts me. I don't want to traumatize her too much."

Nick chuckled. "Then just start the adoption papers. We all know that no one will be good enough."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I should. I don't remember ever feeling this protective over a child before."

"I can tell. Just take time, Olivia. You have it, take it. We'll be okay here."

"I will. I didn't remember the last time I've taken vacation. I'll make sure Dr. Mason preps her just in case she does need to testify."

"That is a good idea. Given her age, and all she's been through, I can't think of a single judge that would make her testify in the courtroom in front of the ones who hurt her."

"If anything, maybe just in the chambers. I just want this to be over for her. Let her work on moving on."

Emma had been sleeping soundly; her dreams filled with Olivia, ice cream and noodles. Suddenly, Mr M was there and was angry. He reached for Emma, squeezing his hands around her neck. Olivia heard Emma's scream and put her wine down.

"I gotta go. Thanks Nick."

She put her phone down and rushed to Emma's room, pulling her into her arms. At first, the little girl pushed against her, still fighting Mr. M in her sleep. Olivia held her close, rocking her back and forth.

"It's okay, Emma. Shhh, baby girl. you're save. I've got you. Wake up, sweetie."

Olivia's voice cut through Emma's dreams and she calmed down, slowly waking up. She held onto Olivia as she started crying. She honestly didn't know if she was crying from the nightmare or because of the relief that it was just a nightmare and she was still with Olivia.

After a few moments, Olivia moved back to look at Emma. "It's okay, sweetie. You're safe. It was just a bad dream."

Emma looked up at her with sad and tired eyes. "It felt so real, just like it did when it happened."

Olivia stroked Emma's cheek and kissed her forehead. "I know, honey. Dreams have a way of doing that. We can't stop our mind from giving us those dreams, but sometimes you can change them."

"You can? How?"

"Tell you what. Let me change into my pajamas and then you can come in my room and I'll tell you all about it."

Emma smiled wide. "I can sleep in your bed? You aint gonna yell at me for having a bad dream?"

"Of course not, sweetie. You can't help it. Now, wait here and I'll call you when I'm ready."

Olivia went to lock up and made sure the lights were off. She then changed and called Emma into her room. The little blonde ran across the hall and jumped onto Olivia's bed; blanket in hand. Olivia grinned and patted the pillow. She cuddled up with Emma and pulled the blanket up. Emma had never been cuddled before at least not that she could remember. It felt strange, but in a good way. Emma felt something she never felt before. Her heart started beating faster and she looked at Olivia.

"Do...do you love me, Olivia? Is that what this feeling is? If you don't, it's okay...I just feel weird."

Olivia realized that Emma had never felt love before; something most people, especially kids, take for granted. "I do, Emma. I know we just met today, but I love you very much."

Emma felt so happy. She was happy, but she started crying. She just had too many emotions to process. "No one has loved me before. They said I was un-lovable, they said no one could love me." She looked at Olivia and sniffed. "But they was wrong. They was all wrong because you love me."

Olivia wanted to cry. She wanted to hold Emma and take all her emotional pain away. She wiped her eyes and then Emma's eyes.

"Listen to me, baby girl. You trust me, right?"

"Yes." Emma nodded.

"Then listen to me. You are loveable. You are beautiful. You are worth so much, Emma."

The blonde let more tears fall as she looked into Olivia's eyes.

"Forget any bad things anyone has told you. They lied, Emma. They are the bad ones, not you. If they didn't love you, that's their fault, their loss, not yours. I can't imagine how hard and painful your life has been, but my love, none of that was your fault or because you're a bad person. Those people? The ones who hurt you and were mean to you? Those are the bad people."

Emma hugged Olivia tight as she let herself relax, knowing that being loved was a good thing. It was safe, she was safe. She was loved, and oh what a great feeling that was!

"I don't know what to say, Olivia. I'm so happy, I just don't know what to say. I love you too, Olivia."

"You don't have to say anything, Emma. I'm sure you're brain is trying to understand everything that has happened today. Just rest, lovey, you need sleep."

Once Emma was comfortable, Olivia had her close her eyes. She kept her voice calm and quiet. "Now, sometimes we can manipulate or change our dreams. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does. When you dream of Mr M., try to make yourself strong. You're in charge. You're not his victim anymore. Emma, you're safe."

Emma smiled, her eyes still closed. "I'll show him that you're my hero. My Superwoman will kick his ass...I mean butt."

Olivia laughed softly and kissed Emma's cheek. "I'll kick his ass."

Emma was soon asleep again and Olivia gazed at her, lightly brushing her cheek. She couldn't imagine never knowing what love felt like. She was never close to her own mother, but she always knew she was loved. Olivia made sure Emma was comfortable before she went in to the shower. It had been a long day, and who knew what kind of night they were in store for. Maybe it was crazy. Maybe it was too soon, but Olivia knew the first call she would make in the morning would be to find out how to adopt Emma. Being that she had no parents on record, it should be pretty easy. It was also pretty obvious that Emma would be okay with it.

Olivia was not one to take vacation, but she was looking forward to the next, at least week, with Emma. It was going to be tough, the appointments with the psychiatrist would be tougher than with Dr. West. Olivia pulled her hair back and put her pajamas back on. She was glad to see Emma still sleeping as she got back and bed and turn the lights off. When she laid down, she felt Emma's little arm around her. She smiled as she put her arm around Emma and fell asleep.

Emma, like most five year old kids, did not sleep still. Through out the night, Olivia would have a foot in her face, a hand on her back. At one point, Emma's whole upper body was draped over Olivia. The woman wouldn't complain, at least the girl wasn't having nightmares.


	4. Chapter 4

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Chapter 4

Olivia's alarm went off at 9, this was the latest she slept in a long time. She looked over and saw Emma looking at her.

"Good morning."

Emma frowned and backed away, trying not to cry. "It was an accident. I'm sorry Olivia, I didn't mean to."

Olivia sat up, confused. "Didn't mean to do what, baby girl?"

Emma moved the blanket, showing a wet spot "I'm sorry." The girl got out of bed and pulled her pants down before standing by Olivia. "I'm ready."

Olivia frowned, still waking up and feeling confused. "Ready for what, honey?"

"My spanking. I wetted the bed, now you spank me."

Olivia shoo her head and took Emma into the bathroom to clean her up. "I don't spank. Sweetie, it was an accident that is easily cleaned I'm not mad at all. Let's go pick out some clothes to wear today, okay?"

Emma was relieved and nodded with a smile.

"Go pick out some clothes, honey. Remember socks and underwear."

"Okay." Emma giggled, running bareback to her room. Olivia smiled softly and got her own clothes on. She gathered up her bedding and started the sheets in the washer. She then went to Emma's room and leaned against the door frame. She couldn't help but chuckle softly when she saw Emma. She had a pink and white blouse with purple leggings that had green poka-dots. Emma looked at Olivia her braids almost out from the rough night of sleep.

"All my favorite colors!"

She was so happy that Olivia could not bare to tell Emma to change. "Adorable. Let me fix your hair."

Emma sat down and Olivia took the braids out before brushing her hair. She put in pig-tails for her. "What would you like for breakfast?"

Emma shrugged. "Toast?"

"Just toast?"

"It's more than I usually get."

"Well not anymore. I know this great cafe that sells the best french toast."

"What's that?"

"What's that? Oh, we are going!"

Olivia got up and went to the door. Turning around, she saw Emma still sitting on her bed. "What's wrong, love?"

"Do I hafta talk to the doctor today?"

"Yes, honey."

"But why? I already went to a doctor."

Olivia sat back down by Emma and rubbed her back. "Honey, we talked about this. It's to help you not be scared anymore."

"I'm not scared with you."

Olivia tapped Emma's nose. "I promise it's going to be okay. If you answer her questions and just be honest, she can tell me how to help you too. After a while, she can help the nightmares go away. Wouldn't you like that?"

"Yeah, but I get sick when I talk about things."

Olivia took Emma's hands. "That's because the things that happened to you are scary and wrong. But if you don't talk about it to someone who can help, it stays inside you and can make you feel things that aren't good. Dr. Mason is a great person. She only wants to help."

Emma didn't want to talk to anyone. She didn't want them to know her secrets. She was scared of what Olivia would think, however, she didn't want Olivia to think she was naughty. Olivia could see the internal struggle the girl was going through.

"I know you don't want to do this. Can you tell me why?"

Emma looked down, picking at her pants, a tear going down her cheek. "Because you won't love me no more."

Olivia lifted Emma's chin. "Nothing can make me stop loving you. Nothing."

"But I was so bad."

"No you weren't, baby girl. See? This is why you need to see Doctor Mason, honey. Because you're not a bad girl. Bad things were done to you, but you're not bad."

Emma sniffed, knowing she wouldn't get out of this. "Okay."

Olivia hugged the blonde and held her tight.

"Tell you what. We'll go for breakfast, go see the doctor, have lunch, and then go grocery shopping. Get all that done today and tomorrow, since it's supposed to rain all day, we will spend the day in bed watching movies or playing games. How does that sound?"

"It sounds good."

Olivia frowned, this wasn't the reaction she was expecting. "Emma? Honey, I don't want to make you upset. I really don't, but if I'm going to see if you can stay with me, they're going to want you to see a doctor."

Emma looked at Olivia. "But I am staying with you."

"I mean for a long time."

Emma didn't want to get her hopes up, but she had to ask, "You mean a forever home?"

Olivia nodded. "If you want. I want to look into adopting you."

Emma didn't know she could smile as wide as she was. "Yes! Okay, I'll go to the doctor!"

"Great. While you're talking to her, I'm going to start making calls about it."

Emma froze. "You aren't gonna stay with me?"

"I'm going to come in with you, but the doctor will want to talk to you alone, once you're ready. She won't hurt you, honey."

"O...okay."

"You're so brave and I'm so proud of you."

Emma took a deep breath and stood up. "Can I wear my rain boots? I love how green they are!"

Olivia couldn't help but smile. "Sure you can. Grab your coat too, it's a bit chilly this morning."

They both came out and the doorman tipped his hat at them. "You look adorable Emma."

"Thank you." She smiled, staying close to Olivia. They got in the car and headed out. At the cafe, Emma ordered french toast and bacon. Olivia was just going to do coffee, but Emma reminded her that breakfast was the most important meal of the day, so she ordered sausage and eggs. Emma devoured her french toast after drenching it in blueberry syrup.

Once Olivia wiped Emma's face and hands, they headed out. Olivia parked and Emma looked at her. "I shouldn't have eaten so much. Now I don't feel good."

Olivia took her hand and kissed it. "You're nervous. It will be okay, honey."

They came in and Emma sat down as Olivia checked in. She then sat and rubbed Emma's back, trying to comfort her. Emma was nervous, if Olivia wouldn't have been rubbing her bck, she would have been rocking back and forth. Instead, she was kicking her legs and playing with the ends of her hair. Olivia took out Emma's blanket from her bag and gave it to her. Dr. Mason came out and dressed like a normal person and not a doctor. She smiled at Emma and knelt by her.

"Hi Emma. I'm Dr. Mason. How are you feeling today? You look a little scared."

"Hi. I'm nervous." Emma replied, holing her blanket close.

"I am too."

"You are?"

"Yes. I don't know you and I want you to like me."

"But you're the doctor. You see people all the time."

"That's true, but you're nervous and you talk all the time."

Emma looked down. "Because no one usually believes me, except Olivia. And because it makes me feel things."

Dr. Mason softly touched Emma's knee. "Feeling things can be scary. I promise I won't push you to talk about things before you're ready. I also will believe anything you tell me. Want to see my office? It's pretty cool, and you can bring your blanket."

Emma looked at Olivia and then Dr. Mason. "Okay, Doctor Mason."

"Please, call me Nora. Do you want Olivia to come?"

Emma did, but she also wanted to be brave. "No. I'm gonna be brave."

Olivia smiled and kissed Emma's cheek. "The bravest girl I know. Nora will come get me if you change your mind and no one will think you're bad or weak."

"Okay, 'Livia. You make that special call and I'll go with Nora." She wiggled her brows, causing Olivia to laugh softly.

Doctor Mason smiled and took Emma's hand. "That's a very pretty blanket. I wish I had one like that."

Olivia watched them and told the receptionist that she'd be right outside. However, the receptionist offered her an unused room to use. Olivia started making calls, knowing she'd be busy filling out forms that afternoon.

Emma walked into the room and looked around. "This is your office?"

"It sure is. Do you like it?"

"It don't look like an office. You gots dolls and games and art stuff."

"I do. Because I like to have fun. What do you like to do for fun Emma? Do you like dolls?"

Emma shrugged. "Not really. I like to color though."

"Me too! I can draw a pretty good dog. Want to see?"

Dr. Mason went to the table, but Emma stood there. "What's wrong, Emma?"

"I thought you was supposed to ask me questions. Are you trying to trick me? I don't like being tricked."

"You don't? I'm not tricking you, Emma. I want you to feel comfortable before I start asking questions. I thought maybe if you colored first, you'd feel better. But, if you want me to ask questions instead, I can."

Emma came over by her and sat down. "Can I color and you ask me? Do both at the same time?"

Nora smiled. "Sure can. Can I ask you why you don't like being tricked?"

Emma picked up a paint brush. "Can I paint?"

"Yes, of course." Nora got the paper ready on an easel and opened the paint. Emma dipped the brush in the green paint.

"Mary Lou used to trick me. I didn't like that."

"Is Mary Lou a child you know?"

"No. She was a foster mom, but I couldn't call her mom 'cause she'd never have a daughter as ugly as me."

"Is that what she'd tell you? That's not very nice and not true either. You're not ugly, Emma. You're beautiful."

"She said that a lot. She would tell me that she loved me and to come give her a hug. When I did, she'd laugh and push me down and call me stupid. One time, she pushed me into a bookshelf and the books fell on me. I started crying and she slapped my face. She tolded me that I needed to understand that no one loves me and no one ever will. But you know what? She was wrong! Olivia loves me. I can feel it!"

Nora watched and listened to Emma. "That was a very mean trick. I bet that hurt your feelings."

"Yeah. I tried hard to make her love me. All of them. But I was never good enough."

"No, Emma. They weren't good enough."

"That's what Olivia says."

"Well, Olivia is right."

Olivia was in good spirits after all her phone calls. Given Emma's history, adoption would be an easy and fast process. A few visits from a social worker and some paperwork and Emma would be hers. She called her office to check in and Amanda assured her that, while they would miss her, they had everything under control.

Finally, after a few hours, Emma came out with a smile on her face and green paint on her fingers.

"Did you have fun?"

"I did! Nora let me paint a picture and I'll get to bring it home next time I come."

"Oh that's great, Emma."

Nora smiled. "She did great. She's a joy. I'll call you later with my recommendations."

"Thank you. I was nervous about this, but she obviously trusted you. We should be home by 2."

"Perfect. Emma? You have a great day, okay?"

"Okay, Nora. You too! See you next week."

Olivia set up the next appointment and took Emma's hand. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"Me neither. Let's go grocery shopping and we can make something at home."

"Okay. Hey, did you make that call?"

"Oh. I forgot. Shoot." Olivia joked.

Emma's face fell and Olivia was instantly hit with a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry, Emma. I was joking. I did make the calls. I just have to fill out some paperwork and have your social worker come and make sure you are happy, and then you're mine."

Emma was too happy to be upset. "Can I call you mommy? I can't believe I'm going to have a forever home! I'm gonna have a mommy! I'm so 'cited!"

Olivia chuckled as they came into the grocery store and put Emma in the cart. "I'm so happy that you're excited. I'm excited to have you as my forever daughter. You can call me mommy if you like. I'll still call you Emma, though."

Emma giggled. "What else would you call me?"

Olivia grinned. "Fred."

"Fred?" More giggles.

"Yes Fred. You don't like Fred?"

"No, I'm Emma, silly."

"Oh I'm sorry Emma Silly. I thought you'd like Fred."

"Olivia!" Emma giggled more, unable to stop.

"I love hearing you giggle, Emma Swan."

Emma looked at Olivia, her eyes filled with love and happiness; completely the opposite of the scared, hopeless eyes Olivia first saw.

"Will I be Emma Benson?"

"Do you want to be Emma Benson? Use Swan as your middle name?"

Emma thought a bit and nodded. "I like that. Emma Swan Benson."

"That sounds like the best name I've ever heard!"

The two went all over the store. The truth was, Olivia didn't have much food in her house. Being she was only home maybe 20 hours a month, she didn't eat much at home. On the way home, they stopped at a video store for movies for the next day. Emma picked out 'Snow White', 'Cinderella', and 'Frozen'. She had never seen a movie before, and she was excited.

Joe, the door man, helped bring the groceries up and Emma helped put them away. While Olivia made some soup and grilled cheese, Emma told her about her appointment.

"It wasn't scary at all. She was very nice. When she asked questions that made me upset, she'd hold my hand or rub my back. I didn't like all her questions, but I liked her."

Olivia put their lunch on the table and they both sat down. "I'm very glad and very proud of you, Fred."

Emma looked at Olivia and put her hand on her head. "Olivia!"

They both laughed and chatted as they ate lunch. When they were done, Olivia made her bed with fresh bedding and let Emma lay in there. "I'm going to be at my desk working on some paper work. I'll turn the TV on and if you fall asleep, that's fine. If you don't, that's fine too. Maybe tonight or tomorrow night you can meet Ms. Tracy. She will be your day care person when I have to go back to work."

"Okay 'Livia...I mean Mommy."

Olivia's heart swelled at that one word; Mommy.

"Rest well, Fred."

Emma grinned as Olivia turned the TV onto cartoons. She watched as Olivia went to her desk and turned her computer on. The woman opened her email and started printing out the forms. Emma fell asleep to the sound of the papers printing off.

A few hours later, Olivia was finished filling out everything. She faxed and filed it and looked over at Emma. She smiled as she gazed at her. She would be her daughter; she would have a daughter. An adorable, lovable, beautiful daughter. Sure, she may have one through a lot, but she was still a ball of sunshine. There were plenty of adults who couldn't take half of what Emma went through.


	5. Chapter 5

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Chapter 5

Olivia's phone rang and she jumped, leaving the room before answering.

"Benson."

"Hey Olivia, it's Amanda."

"Oh hey Amanda. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, perfect. I'm sorry to bother you, I was just curious about how Emma's doing?"

"She's great, actually."

"Oh good. I was worried about how she'd be after her appointment today."

"I was too, but she did great. I know that it's still early and things can happen, but it seems she's actually adjusting well. I mean, there's little things, but they're to be expected. Hey, would you want to come over for supper tonight? We're having pasta with alfredo sauce. Emma loves noodles."

"That sounds great, but I don't want to butt in or anything."

"No, it's completely fine. Please come over, it'll make Emma happy."

"Well if you're sure. I'll bring a salad."

"Perfect. We had a late lunch, so would seven work for you?"

"Yes. As long as nothing new comes up."

"See you then."

Olivia smiled as she hung up the phone and went into her room. She saw Emma awake and leaned on the doorway.

"Hey baby girl. You took a nice nap."

"That's because you have a comfortable bed."

"Are you going to sleep more or come help me start supper? Amanda may come over if she can get away from work."

Emma sat up and smiled. "I like Amanda! I wanna help!"

"Okay great. Go use the bathroom and wash your hands first."

Emma got up and padded to the bathroom while Olivia went to the kitchen to get things ready. She got a stool for Emma and got the bowls and ingredients down.

Emma had a blast helping to make the sauce as the noodles were already made. Olivia made a mental note to do more cooking and baking with the girl. She had to admit, she was having fun as well.

"Mommy? Can I wear one of my new dresses? Like a fancy supper?"

Olivia grinned, she loved being called Mommy. "Sure honey. Maybe that green one we picked out. Just remember, Amanda may not make it, I don't want you too disappointed if something comes up."

"Okay, Mommy. I hope she does though!"

"Me too, baby girl. Me too."

The little blonde wen to change into her dress, needing Olivia to help just a little.

"You're such a big girl, Emma."

The girl smiled proudly, responding well to the positive compliments. "Thanks!"

Soon, there was a knock on the door and Emma grinned up at Olivia before running to the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Amanda."

Emma looked at Olivia who nodded and the girl opened the door wide.

"Amanda! You made it!"

Amanda was a little surprised by the giant hug she got, but she did her best to hug her back with the salad in one hand.

"I did. I told them I needed to go see Emma and they all told me to tell you hi."

Emma grinned and pulled Amanda in before closing the door. "Guess what?!"

"What?" She asked as Olivia took the salad and smiled.

"Olivia is gonna be my mommy! I call her mommy and I'm gonna be Emma Swan Benson. But she calls me Fred." Emma giggled and Amanda chuckled.

"Fred?"

"Yea, 'cuz she's silly!"

"She is pretty silly. You don't look like a Fred. You look more like a Charlie."

Emma smacked her hand on her head and giggled even more."

"I'm not Charlie! I'm gonna call you Ernie and call Olivia Bert!"

Amanda fake pouted. "Why can't I be Bert?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Because she's taller, silly!"

"Fine, but if I'm Ernie, you're my rubber duckie!"

Amanda reached forward and grabbed Emma, squeezing and tickling her. Emma squealed and let out a fit of laughter that was music to her ears.

"What's going on in here? You're being quite loud, Fred."

"I'm Ernie's rubber duckie!"

Olivia raised a brow. "Ernie?"

Amanda nodded, a smiling Emma in her lap. "And you're Bert because you're taller."

Olivia pondered this. "But Bert is always cranky and yells at Ernie."

Amanda smirked. "Sounds right to me."

Emma giggled more and Amanda held her in front of her to protect herself as Olivia came over. She ticked Emma and sat next to Amanda.

"I'll forgive you this time, but if people at work start calling me Bert, you're in for it."

"Sounds fair to me."

Olivia held her stare for a moment. She had never noticed the splash of freckles on Amanda's face before. Amanda smiled softly and looked at Emma who was just smiling at both of them. Olivia shook her head as she came out of her daze.

"Dinner is ready. If it tastes bad, it's Fred's fault."

Emma looked at Amanda with a serious face. "Good thing I'm not Fred."

Amanda chuckled. "Yes, good thing. I'm sure it will taste wonderful."

They went to the kitchen and sat down. It was a pleasant dinner and Olivia was glad she invited Amanda over. She really hadn't given the woman much of her time before since she always felt like Amanda replaced Elliot. Lately, however, she started getting to know her, and by doing that, Olivia started having feelings that confused her. Feelings that definitely weren't allowed between partners. Amanda, for her part, had always had feelings towards Olivia, but kept them hidden. Tonight, though, she started feeling as though her feelings may be reciprocated. She wouldn't get her hopes up, however, even if she had never been invited anywhere by Olivia, much less her home. Emma enjoyed the dinner and told Amanda more than a few times that she needed to come over again.

"You bet I will. This was the best I've eaten in a long time."

"My mommy is a good cook!"

"She sure is. She's kept that a secret from us at work."

"It better stay a secret too. I don't need Finn and Amaro pestering me for food."

"You got it, boss. Our secret. So, with adopting Emma, are you taking any time off?"

"Yes. This week for sure. I know the NYPD gives new foster or adoptive parents more time, but I also know how busy the office is."

"Olivia, don't worry about us. You've been here eighteen years and maybe have taken a months worth of vacation. Think of Emma first."

Olivia looked at the little blonde who was currently blowing bubbles through her straw and into her milk. She noticed how Emma was careful not to blow the bubbles over the edge of the glass.

"I will probably take more time once the adoption goes through. I think this week I will take time making her comfortable and introducing her to Ms. Tracy next door. Next week, I'll work shorter hours to be sure she's okay. To be honest, once the adoption goes through, I may look into hiring a nanny. Someone who can stay here with her on my late nights."

"That's not a bad idea, and it will be easier once she starts school too."

"To be honest, I've had about twenty four hours to think of how this is going to work. However, I'm going to make sure it does work."

"I'm honestly surprised Emma's the first. With as many kids that we help, I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner."

Olivia looked at Amanda, a gaze in her eyes. "There were many that I wanted, but they had others to help save them, or the timing was wrong. I can't imagine going through what she has and consistently being sent away. I couldn't do that to her again."

Amanda nodded, smiling softly. She couldn't help herself and she reached her hand out, putting it over Olivia's. "I get it. We all saw the instant bond there."

Emma hadn't really been listening to the boring grown up talk, but she looked up when she saw Amanda put her hand on Olivia's. She watched Olivia with a small smile. Olivia blushed lightly, but didn't pull her hand away. Both women knew this was dangerous territory, but neither wanted to break contact. Unfortunately, Amanda's phone began ringing and all three sat back and sighed.

"Sorry, gotta take it."

"I know. It's okay."

Amanda stood as she answered her phone, going into the next room. Emma looked at Olivia, her eyes showing she understood more than she probably should. Olivia grabbed a napkin and dabbed at Emma's face.

"You're wearing more than you ate."

"It was so good, it just got everywhere!"

Olivia chuckled and started cleaning up as Amanda came back out.

"Well I hate to eat and run, but I have to go. I really did plan on helping to clean up."

Olivia smiled softly. "I believe you. It's how the job works."

Emma ran to Amanda and hugged her. "Come back soon, but next time, bring chocolate instead of a salad."

Both Olivia and Amanda laughed.

"I'm serious!"

Amanda picked Emma up and kissed her cheek. "I know you are. I'll remember that next time."

"Good! That means you'll come back again!"

"Of course I will. I love seeing you!"

"And Olivia." The little blonde smirked and Amanda raised a brow.

"I do like seeing Olivia. She's my friend."

"Yes, Emma, Amanda will be back, but she has to go now honey."

Olivia didn't want Emma saying too much or asking too much. She took Emma and kissed her nose, putting her down.

"Bath tonight, or no bath?"

"Bath!"

"Okay, go ahead and get some jammies ready."

"Okay Mommy. Bye Amanda!"

Emma rushed to her room as Amanda chuckled.

"I do agree with Emma. I hope you'll come back again."

Olivia looked at Amanda, the two standing close enough to share air. Amanda slightly nodded, her eyes fixed on Olivia's lips. "I will." It was barely a whisper and it was swallowed by Olivia as she stopped fighting it and kissed Amanda's lips softly. It took half a second for Amanda to register what was happening. Once she did, she kissed Olivia back. Her heart was pouding and sparks flew as time stopped when the two finally connected. When the parted, Olivia licked her lips and Amanda caught her breath.

"You should go before they call you back. But...maybe call me later?"

Olivia felt like a highschooler, hoping to get a call from her crush. But really, she just wanted Amanda to know she could call if she was confused by what just happened.

"I'll text first to make sure you're awake."

Amanda new that if she didn't leave now, Nick would be calling her again. She turned to leave and felt Olivia take her hand. She looked at the brunette and knew what she was worried about.

"Don't worry. As much as I want to announce to the world that I just kissed Olivia Benson, I know better."

Olivia smiled as she watched Amanda go. She then closed the door and locked it. It was then that she heard giggles coming from behind the chair.

"My chair seems to be giggling today."

"Because someone is behind it."

"Oh? Is it Fred?"

More giggles poured through the apartment as Olivia came over and tickled Emma.

"You trying to hide on me?"

"No. I was just waiting to take a bath."

Olivia picked up the little one and headed to the bathroom. She started the bath and noticed Emma looking at her as if she had a question but was scared to ask it.

"What's on your mind, Emma?"

"Do you like Amanda? Like really like her?"

Olivia wondered just how much Emma saw. "Yes, I think so. But it's complicated."

"Because she's a girl?" Emma undressed and got into the tub.

Olivia started washing Emma's hair. "No. I know some people don't agree with it, but that's not a problem for me."

Emma wiped her eyes and smiled. "It's not a problem for me either."

Olivia smiled and handed Emma a wash cloth. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Then what's complicated?"

Olivia smiled as she sat by the tub. "It's because we work together. They don't like it if two detectives date. They think we may not be safe if one is in danger."

Emma thought a bit; most of that over her head. "But she's your friend. If she was in danger, you'd want to help her anyway."

"You are absolutely right. I wish Everyone saw it that way."

Emma washed behind her ears and smiled. "I won't tell no one that you kissed her. I can keep a secret. Especially if it makes you happy."

Olivia didn't know what to think. She didn't feel right about having Emma keep secrets. "If you can, that's great, but if you accidently say something, I won't be mad. Now, let's make sure we get you all clean."

Emma washed everything except her legs. "But it hurts, Mama. The soap hurts my cuts."

"I know, baby, but we have to keep them clean. Once you're done, I'll put the lotion on and that will help."

Emma sighed and looked down. She started washing her legs, wincing as she did so. Olivia brushed Emma's hair and left it down. "You are such a good and brave girl."

Emma had tears in her eyes as she looked at Olivia. "Can I get out now?"

Olivia stroked her cheek and nodded. "Yes, baby girl."

She held a towe out for her and wrapped her tight, hugging her. "It won't be like this forever, Emma. I promise."

Emma rested her head on Olivia's shoulder. "I just wanna be normal."

Olivia sighed and pulled Emma into her lap. "Normal is different for everyone. Emma, honey, you are special because you are so strong. Not many children could live through what you have, Em, and if they do, they're not as strong as you are. I'm so glad you're not normal. I'm glad you are you."

Emma sniffed and hugged Olivia tighter. "But I'm sick of it, Olivia! I'm sick of being scared, bad dreams, pain. I'm sick of thinking I'm bad or in trouble all the time. I'm sick of holding everything in, but I'm also sick of crying. Maybe you think I'm special and strong, but I just wanna be a regular kid."

These were the times when Emma seemed older than she was, and Olivia knew it was because mentally, she was. She had to grow up faster than any kid her age should have to. She cupped the girls cheeks and kissed her forehead. "I'm going to help you with all that, my love. Me and Dr. Nora, we're going to help you. Honey, I know this is all you've known, but that part of your life is over. But honey, if you need to talk or cry or yell or anything, you can. You've earned that right. I'm always here for you. I always will be."

Emma nodded, staying quiet for a moment before whispering to her. "I'm scared to believe you. I'm scared they're gonna take me away. I know you said you wont, but I'm also scared you'll send me away. I can't stop being scared."

Olivia hated seeing Emma like this, hated seeing her so scared. She picked Emma up and brought her into her room. "I know I can't say anything to make those fears go away. I wish I had a way to take all the bad things away right now. But I don't. In time, you will see, but it takes time."

She helped Emma change and put lotion on her legs and back. "Memories are like scars. They bother you at first, they cause pain and annoy you. But then, they start fading. After a while, you barely see the scar at all."

Emma looked at Olivia, rubbing the lotion in. "Do they ever go away completely?"

"Some times they do. With help, like this lotion. Sometimes they go away. Memories are the same. Sometimes they go away too. But just like how scars heal, you get new memories, good memories. And they can overpower the bad."

Emma laid in her bed, cuddling her blanket. Olivia tucked her in and kissed her nose. "Good night, Princess. I love you."

Emma smiled and yawned. "Good night, Mommy. I love you, too."


	6. Chapter 6

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Olivia turned the night light on and the big light off before going to finish cleaning the kitchen. When her phone rang, her heart jumped thinking it was Amanda. The number wasn't hers though. "Benson."

"Olivia? It's Dr. Mason."

"Oh hi. How are you?"

"I'm well thank you. I'm sorry I'm calling so late. It's been a hectic day."

"That's okay. I just got Emma to sleep."

"She sure is a sweetheart. I've read through her file and I sense some rough days ahead, but I need you to trust me, Olivia. Right now, Emma is pushing her pain down. I'm not sure if she always does that or if she's trying to 'be good' for us. Either way, to get that out, it's going to be tough but necessary."

Olivia swallowed. "I understand. I agree, she does need to get it out. She lets little things out randomly, which I think is good."

"Yes, that's very good. Just be there for her. Remind her she's good and loved. I think she will adjust fine, in time. Honestly, I'm glad she's with you. She needs someone who can show her normalcy, structure, things like that."

"Thank you. I do have to ask, do these sessions get recorded? I may need them if these cases go to court."

"They are. Any time it's a foster child, we record it. It's far less traumatic for the child than making them face their attacker in court. The one thing I didn't do today, that I will from now on is start with making sure she knows what the difference is in a truth and a lie. Judges tend to like when we do that. I guess I just wanted to call and let you know that things may be good now, but will probably get rocky."

"I appreciate it. I knew they could. That girl has been through hell and back and now, we are going to make her face it all again. I get the reasoning behind that, but my heart hurts for her."

"Believe me, Olivia, I get it. Her keeping it in, however, will only make things worse in the long term."

"I understand. I really do."

"Well just be there. I look forward to seeing her next week"

"I will, and I will see you next week. Thank you."

Olivia hung up the phone and made sure the door was locked. She checked in on Emma, who was sleeping soundly, and went into her bathroom. She filled the tub and relaxed in the hot water. Her text tone went off and she smiled seeing Amanda's name.

[Hey there. How's the night going?]

{Great. Emma's in bed and I'm relaxing. How's your night going?} Olivia sipped her wine as she waited for the reply.

[Alright. Not much we can do for this case until tomorrow. About earlier...I really enjoyed it.]

Olivia sighed, knowing it had been wrong. {I did too. But we both know the rules. I wish it was different.} She bit her lip, hoping she didn't make the blonde mad or hurt.

[I know...but there's something I've been meaning to tell you. Can I call?]

Olivia wondered if this had anything to do with Amanda's meeting with the lieutenant. Instead of replying, Olivia called Amanda.

"Hey."

"Hi. What's the news?"

There was a brief hesitation and then the blonde let it all out. "Do you remember...well I'm sure you do, but when my ex came and he...well you remember..."

"Yes, Amanda I remember. I helped catch the bastard." Olivia remembered well when Amanda's ex came. It was then that she finally let herself get to know the blonde. Here was an SVU detective who needed help to find her own rapist. Olivia had found herself in many situations; some even almost ended in her death, but she had always been able to escape the rape. However, she had worked in SVU long enough to know how to support Amanda.

"Yeah...well I found out I'm pregnant. Three months. I know I have options, but I've thought about it and I'm keeping the baby. I talked to the lieutenant and...well I'm transferring. Actually I'm going too be working from home for our records department. It's not nearly as exciting, but this baby is more important."

Olivia was in shock. She never expected this. Amanda was a good detective, good with the victims. Not only that, but to actually have her rapists baby was a really brave thing to do. "Amanda, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. I know you had a rape kit done, it's too bad they aren't 100% effective. Are you sure you'll be able to do that? Raise the baby? I mean, won't it be a constant reminder."

"I know what you're saying, I really do, it will be a constant reminder, but it will also give my life purpose. Maybe if I didn't know my rapist, it would be different. But I did, and he'd be on my mind anyway. I guess I wanted to tell you because I would love to watch Emma when the time comes. I'm due in October, but I'll be starting the job as soon as my replacement is here, so over the summer. Just think about it as an option."

Olivia nodded and then remembered they were on the phone. "I will, though let's see how it goes first. You may not want a five year old with the new job."

"I'm sure I will, but that's not a bad idea. Olivia, I do know something I do want..."

Olivia bit her lip. "How soon will your replacement be here?"

Amanda smiled. "By the end of the week, but we can take it slow. I know you'll be adjusting with Emma too."

"Yes...Amanda, you're not just doing this for me...for us - right? I haven't told you this, and I probably should have said this a long time ago. You are a great detective. You're great with the victims, you make them feel comfortable. You always have ideas to add to our cases. You are an important part of our work. It will be tough with out you."

Amanda smiled, she'd never really been complimented before. "Thank you. I will miss it, and maybe come back now and then, but the truth is as soon as I decided to keep this baby, I knew I was doing this anyway. The fact that it also means you and I can decide if we want to be more than friends is just a perk. I do understand this is all new and it's...well it's a lot of pieces to put together. Emma and this baby, not to mention that not everyone is open to two women being together. That all being said, Olivia, I am willing to try this, if you are. If it doesn't work, we stay friends; I'll still watch Emma and I won't hurt her. I promise I won't hurt her or you."

Olivia felt a chill as the water cooled down. "Amanda I...I'm not at all glad that this happened to you, but I am excited to see what happens." She got out of the tub, trying to balance the phone at the same time. Once she was out, she put the phone on speaker as she changed. "I know you'd never hurt Emma, Amanda. I trust you, she trusts you and that's huge right there. I don't care if people think it's wrong, I've never been one to label anything. I've also never been one to have a long term relationship due to the job, but like you, I'm willing to see where this goes.

"I am too, but Emma comes first. I don't want to upset her."

"I agree with not upsetting her. But she does adore you. She saw us kiss and told me she has no problem with two women being together. It's not just about Emma either, it's about your baby too. Amanda, are you happy?"

Amanda chuckled. "That's good to know, about Emma I mean." Amanda took a breath as she thought about Olivia's question. "Is this what I pictured? No. But...now that I've accepted it, I'm very happy. I'm doing my best to put aside how it happened, and just focus on the fact that it did happen, that I am having a baby. By doing that, I am happy."

Olivia smiled, sensing the truth in Amanda's words. "I'm glad. I'm happy for you then. Honest. I hope it's everything you want and I'll be here, as a friend or what ever, along the way."

"Thanks, Olivia. I really appreciate that. I should let you go though. I have to be up early. I'll be telling Nick and the rest about my plans tomorrow."

"Okay. I'm glad we were able to talk. I hope you have a great night."

"You too, Olivia. I hope Emma lets you sleep."

Olivia hung up her phone and once again checked on Emma. the girl looked so peaceful when she slept. Olivia retucked the blankets around Emma and kissed her forehead. She went back in her room and laid down, falling asleep quite fast. A few hours later, Olivia woke to Emma screaming as if being murdered. She rushed into the girls room and saw Emma fighting with her tangled blankets.

"No! Leave me alone! Please, please stop! It hurts. You're hurting me! Just...just kill me, please! I don't wanna hurt no more!"

Tears were running down Emma's cheeks and Olivia hated what she was hearing. She could imagine Emma begging like this and being met with more pain. "Emma, my sweet girl, wake up."

Olivia pulled her out of the blanket, but her screaming got worse. "I happy now! Please don't take that away! Mr. M, please don't do that. I don't want blood on my new clothes. Stop it!" More screams followed.

"Emma! Emma wake up, Honey you're dreaming. Baby please wake up." Olivia was shaking the girl, trying to get her to open her eyes.

Emma did open her eyes and gasped, blinking a few times before realizing it was a dream. She held onto Olivia tightly as she cried and cried. "It was...so...real..." She whispered between sobs. Olivia just held her, held her and let her cry as she rubbed her back. She picked her up and carried her into the kitchen, getting her a glass of water before taking her into her own room. She sat on the bed, just holding the trembling girl, feeling so helpless.

"I'm here Emma. I've got you. You're safe. I love you and I won't let him hurt you anymore."

Emma got out of Olivia's arms and started throwing her pillows. "No more! I don't wanna do this no more!" The girl was yelling and throwing things.

Olivia didn't stop her. She watched her, tears in her own eyes seeing the pain that blonde carried in her small body. "Let it out. Baby girl, just let it out."

"I hate him! I hate them! I hate all of them who hurted me! I hate remembering! I wish...I wish..." Emma fell to her knees on the floor exhausted as her anger subsided. "I wish I was dead. I wish they hit harder and ended the pain and I was dead." Emma sat, almost trance like and rocked back and forth. Olivia came and sat by her, pulling her into her lap.

"Oh honey. My angel. You can be mad. You can scream and cry and throw things. But never let me hear you say that you wish you were dead again. I'm so glad you're alive and I want you to be glad as well."

Emma just sat in Olivia's lap. She took a breath. "But it's never gonna stop. I haded a good day and I still gotted bad dreams."

Olivia took Emma to her bed and cuddled in with her. "Emma? Where were you two days ago?"

Emma looked at her. "With Mr and Mrs M."

"That's right. I promise it will end, Emma. We just have to give your brain time to realize you're safe."

Olivia went to get her pillows and Emma sat up, looking around. "I'm so sorry. Oh no...what did I do?"

Olivia shook her head. "Nothing. You did nothing wrong. You let out what you needed to let out. Now just lay down and breathe. Relax, my love. Just relax."

Emma watched and copied her, taking her own deep breaths. After a few moments, Emma was sleeping again. Olivia got up and went to her computer. She wanted what she was about to tell Dr. Mason documented.

~Dr. Mason,

I'm writing to you since it's about 1 am and I do not wish to disturb you. Something happened tonight that I wanted to make you aware of. Emma was sleeping soundly for a few hours. Suddenly, she's having a nightmare and screaming. She did this last night as well, however, this time she was begging for Mr. M to just kill her. When I did get her to wake up, she was utterly beside herself. I don't care that she was crying or screaming, or even throwing things. What I didn't like were the things she was saying. She was saying she wished she was dead. That she wished her old foster parents would have hit her harder and killed her. Dr. Mason, that scares me. She's five and talking like death would be a relief. Everything else I can handle, but this kind of talk is beyond me. I don't know what to tell her other than I'm glad she's alive. Any assistance you can give me is appreciated.

Thank you,

Olivia Benson~

Olivia hit send and looked back at the bed to the angel sleeping there. She felt the tears falling down her face before she even knew she was shedding them. No child, no child at all deserved to go through what Emma was going through, what Emma has gone through. Just as she was about to turn her computer off, she heard a ding signaling a new email. She was surprised to see a reply already from Dr. Mason.

~Olivia,

I was up doing some work when I got your email and there are some things I'm hoping you're able to read before you go to bed. First and foremost, you are doing the right thing. You are doing exactly what she needs you to do. You're letting her break down, at the same time, showing her you're here to pick her back up. It's alarming how old Emma can seem because of what she's gone through and I know that's not an easy thing for people to handle. She will say things that we'd maybe expect from older kids, only because she has gone through more at her age than most children do. In some ways, she has had to grow up, she's had to process these very emotional, very painful things and because of that, she seems older in some ways. Hearing a child of any age saying they'd rather be dead is the hardest thing to hear. I know what you're thinking, how that feels. Olivia, just be there. Telling her you're glad she's alive is EXACTLY what she needs to hear. At this point, I believe it's just something she's saying because she is facing the memories; between the sessions and the nightmares, she is facing them. I don't believe, by what you've told me and the bit I talked to her, that she would do anything to harm herself. That being said, if I'm wrong and she says more and more about how she wishes she was dead, please let me know. I want to stop that before she takes it to another level, but again, as of now, that's not something I'm worried about. She loves you, Olivia. Somehow, you instantly broke her walls and she loves and trusts you.

Now, we can discuss medication as it's painfully obvious the girl has a form of depression. I, personally, hate to see kids her age on medication. However, I'm not the one with them all the time and if you think she would benefit from it, I trust your judgment. It sounds to me, however, that she is happy in the day. I don't believe anyone could fake it that good. Just let me know what you think. Again, I want to just reassure you that you are doing the right thing. It's hard, I won't lie, it's hard. I think it would probably be good for you to see someone as well. It's so common for the person or people who are helping a child through these sorts of things to put the child first and ignore themselves. I don't want to see you do that, Olivia. You will need someone to talk to, someone to assure you. I am more than happy to do that, but I do think it's best if you have at least biweekly sessions with someone as well. Please let me know if there's anything else I can help you with or of any changes.

Dr. Mason~

Olivia took some breaths as she read everything. She sent a quick reply.

~Dr. Mason,

Thank you for your quick reply. I appreciate all your words of encouragement and advice. I don't want her on medication if she doesn't have to be. You are right, she is usually happy in the day. She gets more upset at night after her nightmares. If it gets worse, I'll let you know for sure and then maybe we look at medication.

I do have a therapist as a requirement for my job, so don't worry about that. I really do appreciate you being here to answer my questions though. I just want to help this girl. I want so badly for her to be okay. You say that I instantly broke down her walls...well she did the same to me. I love her so much already. I know it's fast, but just something about her stole my heart and now my heart hurts so badly for her. I'm glad that she has a doctor who also cares so much about her. I will leave you alone for tonight, but if things get worse, I'll also let you know.

Thanks again,

Olivia~

Olivia turned her computer off and got back into bed, her arm instantly going around Emma. The little blonde stayed asleep as she cuddled into the woman. Olivia kissed Emma's temple as she stroked her hair. "I love you, my little Fred."


	7. Chapter 7

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Chapter 7

The next morning, Olivia turned her alarm off and continued cuddling with Emma. There were no solid plans for the day, so she didn't feel guilty at all. The woman watched as Emma took deep, even breaths. She was so peaceful in her sleep and Olivia couldn't help but gaze at the girl who stole her heart. After a few moments, Olivia's eyes shut as she fell back to sleep.

An hour or so later, the woman felt little fingers on her arm and tried her best to still act like she was sleeping as she listened to Emma.

"We gots to be really quiet on this path. We don't wanna wake up the monster!" Her voice then went lower. "Don't worry, Princess. I'll protect you." The girl giggled as her finger people continued their hike up Olivia's arm.

Olivia let out a fake, soft snore and Emma's fingers froze. After a bit, Emma started again. "We gotta go in the cave, Princess. Follow me!" Emma's fingers moved up Olivia's shoulder and to her cheek, stopping by her mouth. It was all Olivia could do to not laugh. "What kind of monster lives in there?" Voice change. "I don't know, Princess, but we gotta do it to save the kingdom."

Before Emma's finger people could move, Olivia opened her eyes and made a growling noise. Emma giggled, but didn't yet move her fingers. "The monster is awake! Run!" Emma moved her fingers back down Olivia's arms.

"Not so fast!" Olivia gently wrapped her hand around Emma's wrist. "You didn't pay the toll."

Emma giggled more. "What's the toll? I don't got no money."

Olivia grinned and looked at Emma. "Good thing I don't want money then. Just kisses." Olivia kissed Emma's fingers before pulling the girl to her and peppering her face with kisses.

Emma's shrill scream and then giggles filled the room as she was kissed and tickled. Both smiles lit the room up and when the attack was over, they gazed at each other.

"I love you, Oliv...Mommy."

Olivia stroked Emma's cheek lovingly. "I love you too, Emma. My beautiful Princess."

Emma couldn't stop smiling; she had never been so happy before. "Mommy? I'm so happy. I really am glad you love me...but when you say that, I feel like I'm gonna cry. But I'm happy. I don't get it."

Olivia noticed the tears in Emma's eyes and the way her voice sounded as if it were constricted. "Those are the best tears, Emma. It means your heart is so happy it needs to release. I'm so glad I can make you that happy. It makes me want to cry happy tears as well."

Emma gazed into Olivia's eyes as she brought her little thumb up and wiped an escaped tear off the woman's cheek. "I've only ever cried sad tears. I hope we only have happy tears from now on."

Olivia smiled softly. "My baby girl, I hope the same thing."

The two then spent the morning making breakfast and talking. Olivia didn't bring up the night before as Emma was in a wonderful mood and she didn't want to change that. "How about we watch Snow White and then get dressed before we go next door to meet Ms. Tracy?"

"Okay mommy." Emma's little feet padded to the living room and Olivia put the movie in. "Oh wait!" Emma ran to the bedroom as Olivia sat on the couch. The girl came running back out with her blanket and jumped on the couch, cuddling with Olivia.

The little blonde had never seen a movie before and she was entranced as she watched it. She'd giggle at the funny parts and cuddle closer at the scary parts. At the end, she smiled and sighed. "A happy ending. I like that."

Olivia got up and stretched. "The dwarfs are my favorite. I like Doc. He's the smart one."

Emma got up and started marching around. "Hi ho, hi ho, off to work we go."

Olivia smiled. "Hi ho, hi ho, let's go get dressed and go."

Emma giggled and went to her room to change while Olivia did the same. The woman waited a while before going to check on Emma. She found the girl in jeans as she struggled to button up her shirt. She was obviously frustrated as Olivia could see tears in her eyes. The woman was torn between wanting to help and wanting Emma to figure it out on her own.

Emma stomped her foot as she realized she put the wrong buttons in the holes. "Stupid Emma! Why are you so dumb? Just as stupid as everyone says!"

"No, Emma. You are not stupid." Olivia stepped in as Emma wiped her eyes. The girl sniffed as Olivia sat on the bed and undid the buttons. "Now, take a deep breath my love."

Emma did as she was told and as Olivia pointed out which holes the buttons went to, Emma buttoned them. She bit her lip as she finished the buttons. "Thank you, Mommy." Emma kept her eyes down and Olivia lifted her chin.

"I want to hear you say it, Emma. You're not stupid."

Emma looked at her, her voice quiet. "I'm not stupid."

"Louder."

Emma took a breath. "I'm not stupid."

Olivia kissed Emma's forehead. "That's my girl. Honey, you are five years old. Not every five year old can even put their own jeans on. No one expects you to be able to do everything, especially on the first try, so you shouldn't push yourself either."

"I'm sorry." The girl was still quiet.

"For what, honey?"

The blonde sighed. "I don't know. I just feel like I did something wrong, so I'm saying I'm sorry."

Olivia pulled Emma into her lap. "You have nothing to be sorry for. We're both adjusting and I know it's a lot to learn. It will take time." She kissed the girls cheek. "Just please, please don't think you're stupid. You are so bright and smart and sweet and kind."

Emma looked at Olivia. "You really think that?"

Olivia shook her head. "I don't think it, I know it."

"No one ever said those things about me before."

"Then no one actually took the time to get to know you, love. Come on. Let's go meet Ms. Tracy. When I start going back to work, you'll stay with her. She's super nice and has a girl your age and two twin boys who are a year older than you, so there's lots of games and toys and art things."

Emma smiled softly. "Will they like me?"

"I'm sure of it."

Olivia tapped Emma's nose and the little girl smiled. "Can you do my hair first?"

"Of course I can. What do you want in today? Braids?"

Emma shook her head and got her hair brush and rubber bands. "Piggy tales please."

Olivia grinned. "With your curls, piggy tales will look adorable." Olivia carefully brushed through the blonde locks and put her hair up into the two rubber bands. She was right, Emma's little blonde curls looked adorable this way.

The two left the apartment and Olivia let Emma knock on the door next door. The door opened and Emma saw a little girl who was just a bit taller than her with long brown hair put in two braids and big brown eyes.

"Hi Olivia! Oh you must be Emma. I'm Ruby and you're gonna be my new bestest friend. I love your hair and your shirt! What's your favorite color, Emma? Mine is red. Come in side and see my room!"

Emma smiled as the girl talked and she looked up at Olivia. "Can I, Mom?"

Olivia nodded. "That's what we're here for."

"Olivia you made it. Oh my goodness, you were right. Emma here is a doll! Hi Emma. My name is Tracy." The kind woman knelt down to the girls level. She also had long brown hair and the biggest brown eyes. Kind eyes. Eyes that told Emma she could trust her.

Emma kept her hands folded in front of her, standing with her shoulders back. "It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Tracy and Ruby. I am Emma Swan Benson...well soon..and well I'm not a doll. I'm a real kid."

Tracy chuckled and tapped Emma's nose. "I only meant you're as cute as a doll. And what great manors you have. Ruby could learn something from you."

Ruby rolled her eyes and took Emma's hand again. "Come see my room, Em!"

Tracy nodded and stood up as the girls went off to Ruby's room. Olivia smiled and came in, closing the door. "She is adorable, Olivia, and she seems happy."

Olivia nodded. "She is...for the most part. The nights are rough and when she doesn't get something right the first time, she gets mad at herself."

"I think that's normal though. Ruby can be like that."

"Yeah. I was going to ask you about that actually." The two walked into the kitchen and Tracy offered Olivia a cup of coffee. "When Ruby gets frustrated, does she ever call herself stupid or dumb?"

Tracy frowned and shook her head. "No. She stomps her feet or yells, but never says things like that. But then, she's never been called anything like that either. I don't allow my kids to talk to anyone like that."

"That's what I figured. It breaks my heart, Tracy. It seriously is so sad to hear the things she says sometimes."

Tracy put a kind hand on Olivia's arm. "You're going to make that better for her. You're going to show her what it's like to be loved and one day, one day she's going to stop thinking so bad about herself, about the world. Olivia one day, she's going to be truly happy and that's because of you."

Olivia smiled a little. "All I want is for that little girl to be a little girl. Unfortunately, she's got some mountains to climb first."

"Is she going to have to testify or anything against her old foster parents?"

"The Monterelli's, her most recent, broke down and confessed to everything so she won't have to. The woman a few homes before them who pretty much tortured her won't cooperate. So she may have to at least tell the DA or ADA about that. I really hope she doesn't have to sit in court and tell everyone what happened to her."

The women went into the living room and Tracy had the girls come out as well so she could get to know Emma. "Emma? Do you like to do art?"

"I love to paint! I'm not very good, but it's fun."

"I bet you're great. I love to paint too. I'll make sure that when Olivia goes back to work, we have lots of paints."

Emma nodded and took a breath.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just...I don't really want Mommy to go back to work."

Before Olivia could say anything, her phone rang and Tracy told her to go answer it. Tracy then sat on the floor and took Emma's hands. "It's scary. Your mommy is so nice and good to you and it's scary to think of her going to work. But Emma, I promise you that I'm going to be nice and good to you too. So is Ruby and her brothers."

Emma nodded, smiling softly. "I'll be nice to you all too."

"I believe you and I'm glad you believe me."

Olivia cleared her throat and smiled softly. "Emma honey? That was work. They want to see us for a little bit."

"Is Amanda gonna be there?" Emma smiled brightly as she got up.

"Probably. But my friend Alex wants to meet you and talk to you."

Emma stopped. "Why?"

"We'll talk about that on the way there. But don't worry. Alex is really nice and she has heard about you from Nick and Amanda."

Emma helped Ruby pick up the toys and then took Olivia's hand. She felt like something bad was going to happen, but tried not to think about it too much. "Thank you for sharing your toys, Ruby. It was really nice to meet you."

"You're welcome. Next time you come, my brothers August and Neal will be here. They're a lot of fun."

"Emma, I'm really glad to have met you and I can't wait until I see you again."

Emma smiled. "Thank you, Ms. Tracy. I'll see you soon!"

Olivia went back to the apartment to grab her keys and the two headed out. As they drove, she could tell Emma was nervous as she watched her in the rear-view mirror.

"Emma? When we get there, Alex will have to ask you some questions."

Emma sighed. "I knew it. About Mr. and Mrs. M?"

"No, baby girl. No. They are in jail and will not be out for a long time. It's about Jane Davis."

"Oh." She swallowed.

"Honey, she's just going to talk to you about her. There's nothing to be scared of."

"Is she gonna be there? Ms. Davis?'

"No, baby girl. No. You won't see her."

"Okay."

The rest of the ride was quiet and part of Olivia didn't want to do this. How could Emma ever move past the nightmares if she was going to have to keep facing the causes of them. However, she couldn't let this woman get away with what she did to Emma either, or risk her doing this to other kids.

Olivia got Emma out of the car and headed up to the precinct. The girl was clutching her hand, but wasn't trying to stop what they were doing.

"Emma!"

The girl smiled and ran up to Amanda, giving her a giant hug. Amanda picked up the girl and swung her around before putting her back down. "I heard you're going to meet our friend Alex."

Emma looked up at her and nodded. "I gotsta talk to her about Ms. Davis."

Amanda knelt down and ran her thumb along Emma's cheek. "Alex is really nice, Emma. She wants you to help her make sure that Ms. Davis doesn't hurt any other kids. Can you do that?"

Emma swallowed and took a breath. "I will. I don't want other kids to get hurt like I did."

"Then come on, Emma. I see Alex over there." Olivia took Emma's hand and they walked into one of th interview rooms. "Alex, this is Emma."

Assistant defense attorney Alexandra Cabot smiled at Olivia and then the little blonde girl. She was as cute as everyone had told her she was. That made things for her even harder. "Hello Emma. I'm Alex."

Emma smiled softly. "I know. I was told you wanted to talk to me." The little girl sat down next to Olivia and put her hands on the table. "I'm ready to tell you what ever you need to know."

Alex rose a brow and got her notebook and pen out. "Well, I guess you're all ready then. Emma, please know that I know this is hard to talk about."

"I know. But we gotta do it so she don't hurt no one else."

"Exactly." Alex pointed to the recorder she had in front of them. "I wish to record this so that you hopefully don't have to talk about it again. Okay?"

Emma nodded, but the realized that wouldn't be heard on the recorder. "Okay."

"Emma, can you remember what happened when you were with Ms. Davis?"

Emma closed her eyes and nodded. "Lots of things happened."

"How long were you there?"

"I think for two weeks. When I first gotted there, she was nice. But then she wasn't. Mostly when she drank or when her husband was away all day and all night. Then she'd get mean. She said she had to let her anger out and that's why she got me, so I can take her anger." Emma took a shaky breath, her eyes still closed.

"Emma honey. When she would get mean, what did she do?"

"At first, she'd just hit me. My face or spank me. But then she said I wasn't taking enough of her anger, so she would hit me with a belt or when she couldn't find the belt, she'd use one of those cords. Sometimes she'd hit me so hard I couldn't breathe. It stung and I remember seeing my blood on the belt and the floor and it scared me so much."

Alex reached out and put a hand over one of Emma's. "It's okay, Emma. She's not going to hurt you any more."

Emma opened her eyes, tears falling from them as she nodded. "I know. Mommy protects me now."

Olivia hated this, she hated seeing Emma cry so much. She knew though, she had to stay quiet so no one could say Emma was being coached.

"Did Jane Davis do anything else to you, Emma?"

Emma took a breath and nodded. "One night she said she was bored. She said she was angry and bored and wanted to draw. But then she said she didn't have anything to draw with. Then she pulled me so I was laying over her lap and she pulled my shirt up and ran her hands on my back. I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I couldn't go no where. Then I heard her light her lighter and I wiggled even more. She said she wasn't going to light me with it, but she wanted her paperclip to be hot 'cuz it would draw better. Then I..."

Emma stopped a moment as her throat felt so tight. "Can I have some water?"

Olivia nodded and filled a cup for her while Alex looked at Emma. "Emma, I know this hard and I'm already so proud of you. Please continue."

Emma took a drink and then some deep breaths. "Then I felt the hot metal on my back. I screamed because it hurt so so bad. She took her sock off and put it in my mouth and held me down as she kept drawing. It was so painful, but she wouldn't stop. Then I must have fallen asleep or something because I woke up the next day. I was on the floor and my shirt was still pulled up and my back hurt so bad."

"Did she do anything that morning?"

"She came out and saw me still laying down, still crying and she laughed at me. Then she came over and said she had to make sure I didn't get an infection. She poured alcohol from her bottle on it and I screamed again from the pain. Then she threw the bottle at me and said I made her waste it. I gotted mad, Alex. I gotted so mad. I got up and I ran at her and pushed her and then I ran out the door. I didn't know my social worker was coming, and neither did Ms. Davis, but when I ran out the door, she was there and she caught me. I showed her my back and we left. But when she called her boss, they said they couldn't do anything about it. I didn't know what that meant, or anything, I just knew I was gone. I was gone and never going back. But...I'd have stayed there if I knew I'd be going to the Monterelli's."

Alex turned the recorder off and came around the table and sat next to Emma. She wiped her tears and smiled softly. "Emma, you're so brave. Thank you so much for talking to me today. Next time we talk, it won't be so hard. It won't be about bad things."

"Okay, and you're welcome." Emma looked at Olivia who seemed to read her mind and opened her arms. Emma climbed up into her lap and rest her head on the woman's shoulder as silent tears still fell from her eyes. Olivia rubbed Emma's back as she looked at Alex.

"Is that going to be enough? Is that going to help?"

"Yes. Very much so. I'll go tell Amanda and Nick to go arrest her. Olivia I...I'm going to do all I can to make sure Emma doesn't have to testify. I can't promise though."

"I know." Olivia sighed. "I know."


	8. Chapter 8

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Chapter 8

Olivia took Emma around the office for a bit as she wanted to check in on some cases she had previously given to Amaro while she was on leave. Amanda took her into the room they used for kids where there were toys and such, but Emma just wasn't her spunky self. She was emotionally drained from telling her story and was quiet as she just sat looking at the table.

"Honey, is there anything you want to talk about?"

The girl looked at Amanda and sighed. "I just hate having to remember."

Amanda rubbed Emma's back and let the girl climb on her lap. It didn't happen often, but Emma started sucking her thumb as she cuddled into Amanda and though she was a bit too old to do that, Amanda let her. She had no idea how it must be for the girl to have to go through everything she did and then have to relive it. Everyone telling her it's over, but then making her recount the details. It had to be hard for her, and Amanda was okay with Emma sucking her thumb to comfort herself.

"Emma, I know this must be hard. I know you want to forget and you want to be happy and move on. Once we get these bad people put away, you can do that. I'm so sorry we have to keep asking you, and I'm sorry for everything that happened to you. It shouldn't have, and that's why they have to be punished."

Emma looked at Amanda with her big eyes. "They gonna hate me."

Amanda looked at her and stroked her cheek. "You know what? I hate them. I hate them for what they did to you. If they get mad at you, it's only because they know that what they did was wrong. You didn't do anything wrong, Emma. Nothing. You remember that. They're the bad ones, not you."

Emma nodded softly and looked at the door as Olivia came in. She tried to give a smile, but both women knew her heart wasn't in it. Olivia came over and pulled the girl into her arms. "You don't have to smile because you think I want you to. If you're not happy, it's okay. I'm not happy. I am so mad that you have to keep reliving this. I'm sad that you have to keep telling people what happened. I'm angry that no one helped you before. But you know what else?" Olivia looked at Emma and kissed her forehead. "I'm so proud of you. I'm so very proud of how strong you are. Just remember, baby girl, with me, you don't have to be strong. You can be angry or sad or mad. Don't hide your feelings from me."

Emma teared up as Olivia spoke. No one had ever told her she could feel how ever she wanted to before. "I'm mad, Olivia. I'm so mad." Her little hands turned to fists as she tried to control her breathing. "I'm mad that they hurt me. I'm mad that they lied. I tried to be a good girl. I really tried so hard for them to love me, but they didn't care. They just wanted to hurt me."

Olivia held onto Emma, blinking her own tears away. "You are a good girl, Em. You're such a good girl. They are just so bad that they didn't want to see it."

Emma got down and went to the couch, kicking it. She had to do something, she was upset and was so tired of crying. "Not all mamas and daddies hurt kids, right?"

"No honey. Most moms and dads do not hurt their kids." Olivia wondered if she was saying the right thing when she saw Emma's jaw set, her face getting more red.

"Then why me? What did I do wrong? It wasn't just one mommy or one daddy, it was all of them. Why am I different?"

Amanda's heart broke along with Olivia's. "Oh honey." Olivia wished she had the right answer, the answer that would take all this pain away. The truth was, they probably hurt her because they knew they could. Because she was a foster kid; an unwanted child. But there was no way she could say that to Emma. Amanda looked at Olivia as if asking her permission and Olivia nodded, watching the older blond go sit by the young one.

"Emma, you know what I think? I think these people are just unhappy people. They saw you, saw this beautiful little girl so full of happiness, full of goodness and it made them hate themselves even more. It's not fair and it's not right, but they thought it would make them feel better if you hurt too. You didn't do anything wrong and there's nothing at all wrong with you. Emma, everyone here loves you. No one here wants to hurt you. If there was something wrong with you, why would we love you so much?"

Of course Emma didn't understand everything Amanda said, but she did know that she was loved now. "I don't know. I don't know why you all like me. No one has liked me for a long time."

Olivia came over and sat by Amanda. "Emma, I'm going to be honest. You may not understand this today, but one day you will. You were sadly cheated by the system. The system that was meant to protect you and keep you safe, failed. It was your social workers fault, it was the foster systems fault. None of it is your fault." She took Emma's hands and looked into those green eyes. "I hate what happened to you and I will spend my life making sure you know how special and great you are. But...Baby, I'm so glad that you're here. For all the bad that's happened to you, it lead you here to me. I like to think you're glad to be here too. It's hard to forget, and in ways, you never will and I know you'll have to talk about it and remember it, but...but I also want you to remember the good. I want you to think about how strong you were to get through everything and make it to me."

Emma looked at Olivia as a tear fell and wrapped her little arms around her neck. "I'm so glad to be here, Mama. I love you already and I know you love me. I'm just scared."

Olivia knew there was going to be this doubt in Emma for a while. After all she'd gone through, how could there not be? She held the little girl. "You're scared that I'm going to hurt you?"

Emma sighed, hiding her face in Olivia's neck. "I don't think you're a bad person, but I just think..." Emma didn't exactly know how to explain it. "I am scared that one day, you're going to see what they saw. You're going to not love me anymore."

Olivia pulled Emma back to look at her. "Emma, I understand you think that because everyone else has failed you. The only way I can prove it to you is if you trust me. You have to trust that I won't hurt you, that I won't stop loving you and that I won't give up on you. I know it's a lot for me to ask, but please try."

"I am." Emma stated, earnestly. She then let out a breath. "Can we go? I'm tired."

Olivia nodded and kissed Emma's cheek. As the women stood up, Emma looked at Amanda. "You gonna come over today?"

Amanda smiled a little and picked Emma up. "I wish I could, but I can't honey. I have so much work to do before I change jobs. Maybe this weekend I can come over?"

"Oh okay." Emma pretended to be sad but she couldn't stop her giggle when Amanda tickled her. "Just get all your work done then and stay all weekend. We can have a slumber party. I mean...if it's okay with Mommy."

Amanda just smiled and put Emma down. "I'm not sure about that. I think my puppy would miss me. But I'll get as much as I can done so maybe we can do something fun on Saturday. All three of us."

Olivia smiled a little. "I'd like that." She then took Emma's hand and opened the door, heading out into the station.

"You! You little lying piece of shit! How dare you, you little brat!"

Emma looked up and then hid behind Olivia, hugging her leg tightly as she saw Mrs. Davis. "Mommy, she's gonna get me."

Olivia went into mama bear mode and put her hand on Emma's back as she looked at the woman. "Do not talk to her like that. You've done enough damage already."

Nick came over and pulled the woman back. "I told you to wait by my desk."

"Yeah, well I saw the lying little bitch and wanted to come over and punish her for what she's saying."

Emma was cowering, whimpering and holding onto Olivia for dear life. The woman slipped out of Nicks grip and lunged towards Emma, her arm out to grab her. Emma screamed and panicked as Amanda stepped forward and grabbed the woman, pulling her away into an interrogation room.

Olivia looked down at Emma and noticed the poor girl had wet herself. Her anger flared, but she had to stay calm for Emma's sake. She knelt down, prying the girls hands off her pants. "Emma honey. It's okay, baby girl. It's okay. She's gone. She won't hurt you."

Emma pushed Olivia away and went under the nearest desk, curling up and hugging herself. "You said she wouldn't be here! You promised I wouldn't see her! You lied to me, Olivia! You lied! Maybe you're lying now!"

Olivia was at a loss for words. What the hell was Nick thinking leaving that woman in the main office? All the trust that she had worked so damn hard to earn from Emma was gone, just like that. Alex had seen the whole thing and she came out by Emma and sat right down on the floor.

"Emma? I know you're scared. What just happened was very scary. Olivia didn't lie to you, honey. Jane wasn't supposed to be here until you were gone. She wasn't supposed to see you. Olivia didn't know she was here. You can still trust her, honey."

Emma sniffed a bit and peaked out. "She didn't know?"

"No. I told Nick to arrest her for what she did to you, I thought you had left. It was my fault and I'm so very sorry. Please come out."

Emma hid her head again. "I can't. I...I'm wet."

Olivia finally caught her breath and gathered her thoughts. She was literally fighting a sickness inside her that she got from seeing how scared Emma was. She took her sweatshirt off and came over to the desk. "It's okay, Emma. You were scared, you couldn't help it. No one will know. I'll tie this around you and no one will see."

The little girl didn't know what to think or do. She was terrified, embarrassed, and just so upset. "I don't want to be here! I just want to disappear!" She started banging her head against the desk, so hard that Olivia had to just reach in and pull her out. Emma tried hard to pull away, to fight. She was just so angry at the world and had no way to know what to do. She started hitting and kicking at Olivia as she screamed. "I hate you! I hate her! I hate everything! Just let me go! Let me go!" She started scratching at her own arm since Olivia didn't let go and pulled at her hair, just letting out all her anger on herself.

Olivia pulled the girl close and hugged her tight, even as she fought her. With every hit and kick, Olivia just loved her harder. "I'm not letting you go. You're mine and I love you and I won't let you hurt yourself. You can hurt me all you want, you can kick and hit and scream, but you will not hurt yourself."

Emma tried to break free, to lash out, to just do anything she could, but inside, inside she didn't want Olivia to let her go. It was so confusing for her, but she couldn't stop. Amanda came out and her and Alex tried to shield the two from the audience that was now here. Alex knew that she had to get the bitch who caused this. No child should ever go through this and at that moment, she made it her personal mission to take down anyone that had hurt Emma. After that, she'd go after other foster parents who hurt other kids.

Finally, Emma had worn herself out. She stopped fighting and just let Olivia hold her. She didn't hold her back, she just stood in her arms, but it was a step. Olivia held Emma, rubbed her back, whispered words of love and comfort, but Emma was like a zombie. She just stood there, her eyes glassed over, her body like that of a rag doll. She was spent.

Olivia wrapped her sweatshirt around Emma and picked her up, trying so hard to keep her own emotions in check. She knew she was being watched and probably being judged, but right now, she just wanted to get Emma out of there. As she head for the door, she looked at Alex. "You get that bitch. You get all of them."

Alex didn't have time to respond before Olivia was gone. She sighed and looked at Amanda who still had tears in her eyes. "Dig up anything on her, Amanda. Anything. We have Emma's account, but I hate to say that it may not be enough." She then went to watch as Nick questioned Jane. Amanda had other work to do, but it was put aside. She wanted to find anything she could on this woman, and she wouldn't give up until she did.

Olivia got Emma in the car and headed home. She wanted to take her to a toy store and buy her everything. She wanted to just do anything to take her pain away, but knew that wouldn't really help. Instead of turning towards her apartment, she took a different road leading to a lake she knew of. She looked at Emma as she parked and noticed the girl looking confused.

"Come on, Emma."

She got out of the car and waited, she wouldn't force Emma. Finally, the girl came out and looked at the water and then at Olivia. "Why are we here?"

Her voice was sad and soft and raspy from the screaming. Olivia started walking to the water, picking up rocks on her way. Emma did the same and by the time they reached the shore, they had handfulls of rocks. Olivia started throwing them in the water. It wasn't enough. So with the next one, she let out an angry yell. Emma just looked at her as if she was crazy. Olivia threw another one. "I hate you!" And another. "I hate you for hurting Emma!" Sure, she was yelling and she had tears and maybe it didn't make her look strong, but she had to let it out.

Emma watched and then she threw a rock. Then another. "I hate you for hurting me!" Another. "I hate you!" She then threw a bigger one and just let out a yell, no words, just a yell.

After all the rocks were gone and the two were sitting on the sand, Emma wiped her eyes and looked at Olivia. "I'm sorry. I don't hate you. I didn't mean that when I said it."

The girl still had tears and Olivia did as well. She shook her head. "You don't have to apologize. You trusted me and you felt like I let you down. I didn't know she was going to be there, and I'm so sorry she was."

Emma dug her fingers in the sand and sniffed. "I believe you."

Olivia sighed and laid back, looking at the clouds in the sky. "Emma, what she said was wrong. What she did was so wrong. I'm so sorry I let that happen."

Emma looked over and moved, laying in the crook of Olivia's arm. "You didn't let her hurt me. You kept me safe. I just...I gotted so mad. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to..."

"To disappear. I know, honey. I wanted to as well." Olivia wrapped her arm around the girl. "I don't have the words to fix this. I don't know what to do to make things better, Emma. I'm trying. I really am trying and I'm sorry I can't just take all this bad stuff away."

Emma nuzzled into Olivia as she put her little arm around the woman. "I love you. You are taking it away. It just takes time." The girl repeated what Olivia had told her many times, causing Olivia to smile.

"Let's go home. We can have ice cream for supper and watch another movie. I think we both deserve it."

Emma smiled and slowly got up. "I'm sorry I wetted myself. I don't even know why I did that."

Olivia sat up and ran her fingers through Emma's hair. "Because you were scared. It's okay, Emma. No one is mad at you."

Emma nodded and stood, wiping off the sand the best she could. "I'm glad you brought me here. It really helped."

Olivia stood and did the same. "I'm glad. It helped me too."

The two went back to the car and then headed back to the apartment. Once there, Olivia started Emma a bath and then took a shower herself. The two got there pajama's on and Olivia got pillows and blankets and they cuddled on the couch eating chocolate ice cream and watching Frozen.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The two ended up crashing on the couch that night and, surprisingly, it was uneventful. Emma was too exhausted to have nightmares and Olivia thought that as a hidden blessing. Not that she was happy for what had happened, but she knew she couldn't handle much more so soon.

Olivia woke up to her phone ringing and carefully removed herself from under Emma, tucking her back in under the blanket. She went to the kitchen and answered as she started making coffee.

"Benson."

"Olivia? This is Carol Martin. I'm Emma's newly assigned social worker."

"Oh. Good morning. How can I help you."

"Good morning. We got a request for your adoption. To be honest, I'm new here in this district and when I was assigned this case, I can't tell you how frustrated it made me. I'm so happy she has found someone who cares for her and will give her a safe home. I've already checked your references and background and, if it's okay with you, I'd like to move this along as fast as possible. Emma deserves it."

Olivia let out a relieved sigh. She knew these things could take months, even years, and she wanted to be able to start her life with Emma as soon as she could. "I really appreciate that. I would stay her foster placement anyway, but I really think that this adoption is what Emma needs to show her she has a home for good. To assure her she is not going anywhere."

"I can imagine. I'm sure she's scared to be taken away. If it's okay with you, I'd like to do a home visit today. Boss wants us to get at least three in and we have to space them out by 7 days each. I'd like to start today so that in three weeks, I can give my okay for this to go through. Please understand, it's not that I don't want to have Emma as my client, it's really that I want her to have a home. The girl has been through...well more than I've ever seen before."

As much as Olivia agreed and wanted this done, she did sort of wonder how Emma would be today. "I'd like that too. I think you should know, though, we had a bit of a rough day yesterday." She explained to Carol what had happened as she poured her coffee.

"I see. Olivia, we don't expect things to be perfect. Especially with kids like Emma. Kids who will have a harder time adjusting. Today will mostly just be to meet you and Emma and just a little observation. However, if you think it's best we wait, I understand."

Olivia bit her lip. "No...no it's okay. She's still sleeping though. Can you give me a couple hours?"

"Yes, of course. I'll be by around 11."

"Thank you."

Olivia hung up the phone and went to the bathroom to freshen up. She then started breakfast and not too much later, Emma came into the kitchen, rubbing her eye.

"Morning, mama." She said sleepily as she sat at the table.

"Morning, Princess. Eggs or pancakes today?"

"Mmm pancakes please. And apple juice."

Olivia made some pancakes and added the bacon she already made and gave Emma her plate and juice. She made herself some eggs and sat down. "Baby? I talked to your new social worker this morning."

Emma stopped eating and put her fork down with a sigh. "I knew it. It's my own fault for being naughty yesterday. I'll go start packing."

Olivia was confused and shook her head. "Packing? What for?"

Emma shrugged as if it was obvious. "You're sending me back."

"What? No. No of course I'm not sending you back, honey." Olivia put her hand over Emma's. "Remember when I said I wanted to adopt you and I said I filled out the papers?"

"Yeah."

"Well do you remember what I said had to happen before I could adopt you?"

Emma thought a bit and shook her head.

"Your social worker has to come out and visit. She has to make sure that this is what you want and that you are happy here. She's just going to come and say hi and just make sure I'm being good to you."

Emma's body relaxed as she realized she wasn't going away. She smiled and ate more of her breakfast. "Oh. Well good. Because I am happy here."

Olivia tried to smile, but she hated how Emma not only assumed she was being sent away, but blamed herself for it. Time. They both had to remember that all this would take time.

After they ate, Olivia had Emma get dressed as she cleaned up the kitchen and living room. Emma put on her favorite shirt and jeans and asked Olivia to do her hair. As she did, she noticed the scratches on Emma's arms from the day before. "Honey, we need to put some of that cream on your arms."

Emma sighed but went and got the cream and let Olivia put it on. Olivia was gentle as she rubbed it in. She wanted to talk to her about self harm, but didn't want to start any deep conversations only to be interrupted by the social worker. Olivia got out some art stuff that she had bought the day before and Emma sat at the table and finger painted.

There was a knock on the door and Olivia answered. "You must be Carol. Come in."

"Hello. It's nice to meet you." The woman was young, but very kind looking. A bit shorter than Olivia with long light brown hair. "You must be Emma. Oh my, I didn't know you were an artist."

Emma giggled a little. "I'm no artist. I just like getting messy."

Carol smiled and sat at the table. The two talked a bit about things Emma liked to do and Emma really seemed to be comfortable with her. After a bit, Olivia showed her around the apartment as Carol took notes. Carol then said her goodbyes to Emma and Olivia walked her to the door.

"The place is perfect. Her room is fantastic and everything is up to code. She seems happy. More relaxed than I expected. That's a good sign for you. I don't want to get personal but...how are you doing? I mean no offense, but you look exhausted. You have to remember to take care of yourself too."

Olivia let out a sigh. "Honestly, yesterday was rough. I felt like things were doing so well and then that happened. I try my hardest, Carol, but I don't know how to handle a five year old self harming. Banging her head on the desk, scratching herself. It breaks my heart."

"What did you do?"

"I pulled her from under the desk and just held her. I didn't let her go. I didn't want to let her go."

Carol put her hand on Olivia's arm. "That was exactly the right thing to do. It's hard, Olivia. It's not just hard for the child, but it's hard for the parents. Especailly so when there's only one. I'm not saying you're not up for it, but you don't have someone to take over when you need a breather. Is there anyone we can put on the list of approved friends or family for if you need a night off? Of course you have Ms. Tracy for daycare, that's all been approved and you have the option of respite, but if you have someone who may watch her from time to time, we should get them on the list. That way, if you need a break, you don't have to wait for us to find someone."

Olivia nodded. "Yes. I've added Amanda Rollins to the list and Nick Amaro. Most likely, it will be Amanda or Ms. Tracy watching her, but in an emergency, Nick will be here too."

Carol looked in her file. "Right. I'm sorry, yes. I see they were approved just this morning. Use them. Olivia, you're amazing, but you're human. You need breaks too, in order to be here for Emma."

"I will. Just hearing you say that I did the right thing though, that helps a lot. Thank you."

Carol smiled and handed Olivia her card. "I'll call next week and set up the next visit. It may be longer as there are notes I have to take."

"Of course. That's not a problem. Have a good day."

"You too."

Carol left and Olivia closed the door. She cleaned Emma up and made some sandwiches. As they were eating, she smiled at Emma. "I think we're going to have fun today. Have you ever been to an arcade?"

Emma shook her head. "No. What is it?"

"It's a big room filled with games. There's a big one just outside the city and it has games and go-karts and bumper cars. Let's see if Amanda can join us, hmm?"

Emma's whole face lit up. "Yes! If she can't though, it's okay."

Olivia called Amanda and even though the blonde had work, she decided to take the afternoon off. The three of them were in the car and heading out in less than an hour. Emma was so excited, the day before was all but forgotten.

Once there, Emma was in awe over all the lights and sounds. Olivia bought some cards that gave them unlimited play and Emma was having the time of her life. She played so many games and won so many tickets. Amanda was a pro at skiball and added her tickets to Emma's. Then Olivia took Emma to the go-karts. She'd have to ride as she was too small to drive and with Amanda's condition, she was perfectly happy to watch.

Olivia hadn't let herself have so much fun in a long time and was enjoying it as much as the girl was. Emma waived to Amanda as they came around the corner and was all smiles as they won the race.

"There's the winners!" Amanda greeted the two with cotton candy. "I had no idea Olivia was a racer!"

Emma giggled and took some cotton candy. "Olivia...I mean mommy is so cool! Amanda, why didn't you come too?"

Amanda looked at Olivia who nodded and they walked to a table. "Well, because you see, I have a baby in my tummy. I don't wan't to hurt it."

Emma was confused at this. "Why in the world did you eat a baby?!"

Both women laughed, which made Emma more confused. "No honey, I didn't eat one. It's growing in my tummy."

"Oh. Okay." She still didn't fully understand, but she accepted. "I'm really glad you came with us. This was the best day of my life!"

Olivia smiled and kissed Emma's forehead. "I'm really glad. It was the best day of my life too. Now, lets go get some food and then see what prize we can get with your tickets."

Hot dogs and french fries were enjoyed by all before they cashed in all the tickets for a giant teddy bear, a princess crown, and a sucker, and then they headed back to the car. They weren't driving for five minutes before Emma was out in the back seat.

Amanda smiled at Olivia. "Thank you for inviting me. It was so great to see both of you so happy. Especially after yesterday."

"I'm really glad you came. I know you probably had work to do, but I'm still glad you came."

"It's okay. Oh. I wanted to tell you, but I wanted to make sure Emma didn't hear." She looked back to make sure the girl was still sleeping. "Alex had me look into Jane. Turns out, Emma's not the first she hurt. Jane shouldn't have even had Emma, but the foster system apparently forgot to update their records. She's hurt others and even did time in jail for it."

Olivia shook her head. "Why do they think it's okay to make mistakes like that? It's not okay. It's not okay to just play with kids's lives."

"No, it's not and it's turning into a pretty big investigation. Emma may have lead us to quite a break through in the way the system works. That being said, Alex has no reason to think Emma will have to be in court. Of course, she can't say for certain, but it seems pretty cut and dry."

"Good. I hope this helps her start to move on. Thank you for all the work you're doing with this."

Olivia pulled into the station to drop Amanda off and looked around. It was dark and she felt safe so she leaned over and gave Amanda a soft kiss. Amanda smiled and kissed her back before biting her lip. "I should go. Call me...you know, if you want."

"Okay. Have a good night."

Olivia carried Emma and her prizes up to the apartment and locked the door. The girl didn't even wake up. She got her pajamas out and made sure to put cream on Emma's legs, arm and back. Her scars were healing quite well, and Olivia was happy to see that. She then dressed her and tucked her in, kissing her cheek. Through all that, Emma stayed asleep. "I love you, Princess."

Olivia then went and showered before getting into her own bed. Her phone rang and she smiled thinking it was Amanda. However, it wasn't. It was Nick.

"Hey Liv. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for yesterday. We thought you had left, or I swear, she woudn't have been out there."

Olivia sighed. "I know. It's okay. She seems to be getting over it."

"Yeah, Rollins told me you guys had quite the evening. Sounds like fun was had by all."

"It was. It was a good day. I hope to have many more like it."

"Good. Hey, I know this may not be my place, but I was wondering if I could come over Sunday and see if I can get her to open up to me? Maybe we can go to the park. It's just...I'm kind of jealous that you and Amanda get to have so much fun and I'm missing out."

Olivia smiled. She knew Nick was missing his own daughter, and quite honestly, it was probably good for Emma to have a positive male figure in her life. Show her that not all men are bad. "Sure. That sounds like fun. Say about noon in Central Park?"

"Perfect. Meet you by the entrance."

"Sounds great. Thanks for calling, Nick. Good night."

"Night, Liv."

With that, Olivia turned her light off and fell asleep. She was joined a few hours later by a little girl, but she didn't care. She just cuddled her and the two had another peaceful night.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate to say it, but Emma's in for some rough times ahead. I mean...there has to be drama, right?

_**Read~Enjoy~Review** _

**Chapter 10**

"Emma, honey we have to get going." Olivia called to the little girl who was taking her time getting her shoes on. "It's only going to be a couple hours." Olivia had an appointment with her therapist and would be taking Emma next door to Ms. Tracy.

"I'm coming, Mommy. I just can't get my shoes tied. Can you please help me?" The girl looked up at Olivia and the woman noticed she was on the verge of a breakdown.

"I can help you. Thank you for asking and not getting mad, love. Now take some deep breaths as I tie them." Olivia wanted to be sure to point out that Emma was doing the right thing. She knelt down and started tying Emma's shoes. "Now, you'll have lunch with Ms. Tracy. She asked me what kind of foods you like, so I'm sure you'll like what ever she has. I'll be back right after you eat and then, as long as you're good with her, we're going to a movie. Tomorrow, we're going to the park. Nick will be there and wants to show you something. I don't know what it is, but he's excited. Then remember what happens on Monday?"

Emma nodded, they'd talked about this before. "You go back to work for a while in the morning and then I have to go see Dr. Mason again."

"That's right. But you like Dr. Mason and you'll get to bring your painting home."

Emma was quiet. She did like the doctor but she knew it wasn't always going to be easy. She got up and went to the door. "Ready?"

Olivia stroked her cheek and grabbed her purse before walking out and locking the door. They went next door and Emma knocked. Not a second later the door was opened and Ruby was smiling.

"Emma! I'm so glad you're here. Neal and August are playing boy games and I want a girl to play with."

Emma giggled and looked at Olivia, pulling her down to hug her. "I love you, Mommy. I'll see you later."

"I love you too. Be good." Olivia hugged Emma and watched as Ruby took Emma's hand and pulled her into her room. Ms Tracy came over with a smile.

"She seems to be in a good mood. Olivia, take your time today, okay? Take some time for yourself. Even if you want to go home and rest, Emma will be fine here."

"She is. Thank you for your offer, and I may take you up on that another day. I'm taking her to a movie this afternoon and was wondering if Ruby could come with? I love seeing her with kids her age."

"Oh I bet she'd love that. Of course she can...well as long as she's good today."

Olivia noticed the boys were there today and she stepped closer to Tracy. "I don't know how she is with boys. I know men have hurt her and she's a bit guarded with them so if she acts differently with them, please let them know it's no their fault."

Tracy nodded. "I have sort of talked to them. I didn't go into detail or anything, I just told them that she was very shy and she may not wish to play with them at first. They understood."

"Thank you. I should get going. You have my number, right?"

"I do. Don't worry, she's in good hands."

"Oh, I'm not worried about that at all. I know you'll take good care of her."

Olivia headed out and Tracy went to check on the girls. They were having a tea party with Ruby's dolls and laughing. She smiled as she watched them and stepped into the room. "You girls need some cookies to go with your tea."

Ruby nodded. "Yes! Please mommy, can we have cookies?"

"Chocolate chip or peanut butter?"

"Chocolate chip!" Both girls called out.

Tracy went and got them some cookies and joined in on their tea party. After a bit the girls decided they wanted to color and Tracy got them all set up at the table before starting lunch. Then Ruby's brothers August and Neal came out and sat by the girls to color.

"Hi. I'm Neal and that's August. You must be Emma."

Emma looked at the boy who was smiling at her and nodded. "Hi." She said quietly.

"Mom said you're shy." August stated as he started coloring. "It's okay. You don't gotta talk to us until you want to."

Emma watched them and bit at her lip. "You aint gonna hurt me, are you?"

All the kids looked at her, confused. Ms. Tracy came over and put a hand on Emma's shoulder. "Honey, no one here is going to hurt you."

"Why would we hurt you? We're not bad people." August said as if she had insulted him.

Emma looked down and felt the tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean you was bad." She said quietly and Ms. Tracy noticed how her voice was shaking. She rubbed her back and looked at August.

"She doesn't think we're bad, August. She's been hurt before so it's hard to trust people."

Emma sniffed and wiped her eyes, wishing she would just disappear. She felt like she was being bad and hated it. "I'm sorry."

Neal was watching and felt bad for Emma. He came over by her and handed her a green crayon. "Ruby said green is your favorite color. Emma you're not bad, we're not bad and we're not gonna hurt you. I'm sorry you're scared or worried and I'm sorry other people hurt you."

Emma looked at him and took the crayon, her tears stopping. "Thank you, Neal. I know you're not bad. Sometimes I say things before thinking."

He smiled at her. "It's okay, Emma. No one is mad." He nudged his brother. "Right, August?"

August shook his head. "No one is mad, Emma."

Emma smiled a little and started coloring again as Neal sat down. Tracy just smiled, so proud of her son as she went back to making lunch. Ruby looked over at Emma's picture. "Is that you and Olivia?"

"Mhm. That's us at the Arcade. It was so much fun."

"Who's that other lady?"

"That's Amanda. She's mommy's friend. She came with us."

"Cool. I love the arcade."

"Okay kids. Lunch is ready. Put the crayons away, please. Ruby and Emma you can wash your hands in the bathroom and August and Neal, please wash your hands out here in the kitchen."

The kids did as they were told and then came back to sit at the table.

"Noodles! I love noodles!"

Ms. Tracy smiled as she put the pasta down on the table and started dishing it out. "That's what Olivia told me."

They all ate lunch and as they finished, there was a knock at the door. Emma smiled. "I bet that's Olivia!" She and Ruby ran to the door. "Who is it?" The girl asked before opening it.

"It's Olivia. Is my princess still here?"

Emma giggled and looked at Ms. Tracy who nodded and then opened the door. "Mommy!" She ran to Olivia and hugged her tight. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, baby girl. Were you good today?"

Emma looked at Ms Tracy. "I think so."

Tracy chuckled as she came over. "Emma was wonderful today."

"I think I maded August mad though. I didn't mean to."

Ruby shook her head. "He wasn't mad. Remember? He told you he wasn't mad."

"Why would he be mad, baby girl?"

"I asked him and Neal if they was gonna hurt me. I didn't mean that they were bad."

Tracy came over with Emma's shoes. "He knows that, Emma. It's all been settled and no one is mad. You weren't bad or naughty."

Olivia put Emma down and helped her get her shoes on. "Emma, it sounds like you were good. It sounds like Ruby was too. How would you like it if Ruby came to the movie with us?"

Ruby gasped with a smile and Emma nodded happily. "Yes! I'd like that a lot!"

Ruby rushed to get her shoes on and then looked at her mom. "Can I go, Mommy?"

"Yes, you can go. Be good for Olivia, okay?"

Emma took Ruby's hand as they headed out. "Okay mommy. See you later."

"Wait by the elevator, girls." Olivia smiled and looked at Tracy. "She didn't hurt August's feelings, did she?"

"No. I think he was just confused. She's a sweet girl. She'll start coming more on Monday, right?"

"Yes. We have an appointment Monday afternoon, so she'll only be here until about noon. Tuesday through Friday I'm going to try to get out early but...we're down a detective so I can't make promises."

"It's no problem, Olivia. If you're ever late, she can always camp out here and you can come get her or let her spend the night. We'll figure it out."

"Thank you so much. I'm so glad this is working out. We'll be back in a few hours."

Olivia and the girls headed to the movies. A few hours later, the girls were laughing as they came out and Olivia couldn't stop smiling. She loved seeing Emma smile and laugh and be a child, she deserved it.

"Bye Ruby. Thanks for coming with us!" Emma smiled as Ruby went back to her apartment. She then smiled wide as the elevator opened. "Amanda!" The girl ran and hugged the blonde who smiled at her.

"I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd come see how your Saturday was going."

"Great! We just went to a movie!"

"Oh yeah? What did you see?"

"The Minions. It was really funny."

Olivia opened her apartment and smiled as Emma and Amanda walked in. She put her purse down and opened the fridge, not really feeling like making supper.

"How about pizza tonight?"

Emma looked over with a smile. "Cheese!"

"You staying, Amanda?"

"I wish I could. I have a case to finish up before I start my new position. I just stopped in to say hi."

Olivia ordered the pizza as Emma told Amanda about the movie. Amanda smiled, seeing how happy the girl was. "I'm glad you liked it, Emma. I should head out, but I hear you're going to the park tomorrow. Nick is really excited to get to see you."

"He is? Why?"

"He is. Because he has to hear me talk about how wonderful you are and he wants to get to know you as well."

"Oh. Well that seems nice."

Amanda got up and hugged Emma and looked at Olivia. "I know you're taking time, but they sure do miss you at the office. No one is as good as you, Olivia." She smiled as she headed for the door.

"I'll start back on Monday. I hear we got two newbies I'll be training. What are your thoughts?"

"Well, David transfered from Vegas SVU, I think he will do great. Robert on the other hand, he's new and I'm not sure he's got what it takes. I could be wrong, but just my assessments."

Olivia nodded, taking in the information. "Sounds like they should be okay. We'll see though."

Amanda nodded and looked at Emma before looking at Olivia. "I have to tell you something..."

Olivia understood and looked at Emma. "Baby girl? How about you go take your shoes to your room and change into your pajamas, okay?"

Emma nodded and headed off to her room as Amanda and Olivia walked to the door. Amanda looked at Olivia. "So Jane Davis got out on bail today. She's free until her trial and after what we saw in the office, it may be a good idea to keep an extra eye on Emma."

Olivia's stomach turned. "What? How is that possible?"

Amanda shook her head. "Believe me, Alex tried to not let her have bail, but she somehow got it."

"Thank you for telling me." She looked towards Emma's room. "I hope nothing happens."

Amanda put her hand on Olivia's arm. "She has you. Nothing will happen. I have to get going, I just wanted to relay that information to you."

Olivia looked at Amanda and smiled softly, leaning in to kiss her cheek. "Thank you."

Amanda blushed and smiled. "You're welcome. Call me later?"

"I will."

Amanda headed out and Olivia locked her door, sighing. It was early, but it had started to rain so she and Emma would have the rest of the afternoon in anyway. She went to find Emma, thinking she should be out by now. The woman let out a sigh when she saw Emma curled up on her bed, hugging her pillow with tears streaming out of her eyes.

"You heard, did you?"

Emma sniffed. "She gonna hurt me. She gonna find me and hurt me." The girl whispered and Olivia went over to pull her into her arms. She held her tight, rubbing her back.

"She won't baby girl. I won't let her. Look at me, Emma."

The girl looked up at Olivia.

"I know you're scared. I understand why you're scared, but the truth is, if she comes close to you, she will go right back to jail. You'll always either be with me or Amanda, or Nick, or Ms. Tracy. You'll be safe."

Emma nodded and wiped her tears, trying to be brave. "We're still gonna go to the park tomorrow?"

Olivia nodded and kissed Emma's nose. "We aren't letting her ruin our day. Come on. Let's go bake some cookies."

Emma agreed and went to the kitchen with Olivia. After a bit, the two were once again laughing and enjoying their time, any thoughts of Jane all but forgotten.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING** Abuse and blood mentions in this chapter. You've been warned.

_**Read~Enjoy~Review** _

Chapter 11

Olivia had let Emma sleep in her bed that night, figuring that it was the weekend and it made the girl comfortable after the bad news they got. The blonde was up early Sunday and decided to go quietly play in her room while Olivia slept. Once Olivia's alarm went off, Emma ran back into her room and jumped on the bed.

"Mommy! We gotta get ready for the park!" She shook Olivia as she giggled.

Olivia groaned and pulled Emma back into bed. "I don't wanna get up, Fred. I wanna sleep more."

Emma giggled and kissed Olivia's face. "Wake up! My tummy is hungry!"

"Okay, okay. How about you go get dressed and I'll take a shower and then make breakfast? We picked that outfit out last night, remember?"

Emma smiled and nodded. "Okay, Mommy!" She padded off to her room to get dressed as Olivia stretched and got up, going into the shower.

A few hours later and Olivia couldn't hold off the park any longer. They had breakfast and cleaned up and Emma was just so excited to go. They decided to walk as the weather looked like it would be a good day. Olivia kept her eyes open and noticed that Emma stayed pretty close to her. She hoped that once they were at the park, Emma would relax a bit, but she knew she had to do the same.

"There's the famous Emma." Nick smiled as the two walked up to the entrance. Emma smiled, a bit shy like as she held onto Olivia's hand. He wasn't going to push anything, honestly, he just really wanted to show Emma she could trust him. There was just something special about her that everyone seemed to feel.

"Amanda said you got a surprise for me." Emma stated as she looked up at him. He knelt down and held out his hand, showing her some tickets. "What are those for?"

Nick smiled. "The zoo. Not only just to get into the zoo, but we get to have a private tour inside the baby elephant enclosure and you get to feed them."

Emma gasped and smiled widely. "For real?! Mama did you hear that?!"

Olivia laughed and nodded. "I did. That's really special, isn't it?"

"For real, Emma. Are you ready?"

"Yes! I'm so ready!"

"Piggy back ride?"

Emma giggled and jumped on Nick's back. He smiled as he stood and the three headed off to the Zoo.

Emma had the time of her life, she had never been to the zoo. She loved seeing all the animals and really enjoyed seeing, petting, and feeding the baby elephants. After they were done with the zoo, they stopped and got some hotdogs and soda and sat on a park bench as they ate.

"I haded so much fun, Nick. Thank you."

Nick chuckled and wiped the mustard off her cheek. "You're welcome, Princess. I'm glad you had fun. My daughter used to love it when we went to the zoo. Before she moved."

Emma frowned a little. "I bet she misses you. I think you'd be a good daddy. You're not mine but I'll call you uncle Nick if you want."

Olivia smiled at how the girl was so empathetic. "Uncle Nick. I like the sound of that."

Nick chuckled. "Me too. Okay, you can call me uncle Nick. I hear people call you Fred."

Emma rolled her eyes. "I'm not Fred!" She giggled as he tapped her nose. "Oh a penny!" Emma bent down and picked up a penny off the ground. "Mommy, can I go throw this in the fountain?"

The fountain was only a few feet away, so Olivia agreed. "Make sure you make a wish first."

Emma skipped over to the fountain and Olivia and Nick started talking about work. Emma was only gone for a few minutes when they heard a scream, causing Olivia to jump up. "Emma!"

She looked over and saw Emma being carried off quickly by someone in a hooded jacket. "Mommy!"

"Stop! Stop them!" Olivia called as her and Nick got up and started running after them. The person who had Emma weaved in and out of crowds of people, effectively losing the two detectives. Nick called for back up as Olivia called out for Emma, straining to hear a response from the girl. Tears filled her eyes as her heart pounded in her throat. "Nick...where is she?"

"I don't know. Olivia, but we'll find her. They're getting patrol at all entrances."

"It's too late. They're probably gone by now. I told her she was safe. I told her I'd keep her safe."

Nick looked around as the reached the main entrance, not wanting to admit that whoever had Emma, was probably gone by now. "We'll find her, Olivia." Nick pulled up his phone, bringing up a picture he took just hours ago. He started showing everyone around, asking if they'd seen the girl. Olivia did the same and was feeling more and more dishearten with each person who said no.

"Olivia! Over here." She went to Nick who was talking to a woman. "You saw her?"

"Yes, she was crying and obviously didn't want to be with the woman who had her. I tried to stop her, but she pushed me down. I did call the cops."

Olivia listened to the woman. "Did you see where they went? Do you remember anything about her or did they get into a car?"

The woman nodded. "I was taking pictures of the park, so my camera on my phone was already on. I got some pictures of them and the car. They headed off that way." She pointed and Nick called in the information. The woman pulled up the pictures and Olivia's heart sank even more.

"It's Jane. Oh God, Jane has Emma again." She swyped to the next picture and then sent it to herself as it had the car with a clear picture of the license plate. She looked at the woman and thanked her for all her help. "I can't tell you how much this helps."

"I hope so. If you need me for anything, just call me." Olivia nodded, saving the woman's number on her phone. "Thank you again." She then turned towards Nick who was joined by Amanda and Fynn. Every part of Olivia wanted to feel Amanda's arms around her, comforting her, but she couldn't do that right now. Amanda wasn't fully transfered.

Olivia gave Nick the information she got from the woman and then looked at Amanda. "It's Jane. She has Emma."

Amanda's own tears filled her eyes, she knew how dangerous this could be. "We'll get her, Olivia. We'll get her."

Usually, Olivia was strong and could put her emotions aside, but this was different. This was not just some victim she didn't know; this was her Emma. She tried to hide it, but a sob came out of her as she thought about her soon to be daughter. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have let her go to the fountain."

Amanda couldn't help it, she pulled Olivia into a hug. Hell, she'd do it even if they weren't dating. "Stop Olivia. It's not your fault. Nick said she was less than three feet away from you. This woman wanted to get her, and it didn't matter how close you were."

Fynn rubbed Olivia's back. "I think you and Amanda should go to your place, Olivia. I know you're going to want to help, but you're too emotionally attached to this one. You can trust Nick and I and we'll keep you up to date."

Olivia wanted to fight, wanted to argue, but she knew he was right. "I'll go home, but I'm going to put out an APB on the vehicle. I have to do something."

"We'll call the news stations and get the word out." Amanda agreed as she lead Olivia to her car. The two went to Olivia's apartment and started getting the word out and making posters with Emma's picture and details of the vehicle, Jane, and Emma's stats. Tracy could tell something was going on and when she heard what it was, she grabbed the posters and her kids and they set out handing them to anyone and everyone.

When there was nothing left to do, Olivia started pacing - she hated feeling so helpless. "Amanda, this could ruin everything. Even if she survives this, she's going to be so broken and...and she wasn't sturdy to begin with." Olivia sat and put her head in her hands, letting herself truly cry for the first time. "Even if they still let me adopt her, she may not want me to anymore. She may not trust me, she can't take more, Amanda. She's already been through too much."

Amanda came over and held Olivia, held the woman who was always so strong. "Shh. Listen to me. She loves you so much, she will still want to be with you. This wasn't your fault, Olivia. They can't hold it against you. You called her social worker and told her what was going on. You're doing everything you can."

There was a knock on the door and Olivia rushed to answer it. She was a bit disappointed to see Carol, Emma's social worker, but let her in. The woman didn't hesitate to hug Olivia, knowing she probably needed it. "I'm here to help. I know you've got a lot on your mind, and I want to help however I can. I want you to know that this has no effect what so ever on your adoption process. This is something that could happen to any parent, it's nothing you did that you or Emma should be punished for. I know it's not a lot right now, but I hope that it eases your mind at least a little."

Amanda was listening. "I told you. Now, let's try thinking more positively."

Olivia let out a breath and nodded. "It's hard. I know what this woman did to Emma before and I honestly wouldn't put anything past her now. She's mad and Emma is her target."

"She picked the wrong girl, Olivia. You and Emma have the entire NYPD behind you, Nick and Fynn leading them." Amanda tried comforting her.

"She's right. Olivia, it's non stop on the news. This woman can't hide for long."

~~~~Meanwhile~~~~

Emma was at the fountain one minute, making her wish and the next, she felt herself getting picked up and rushed away. She was able to let out a scream and call for Olivia. She watched Olivia and Nick chase them, praying they'd reach them. But then, she watched as they got lost in the crowed. She didn't even know who had her until she was pushed into a car and she was able to see Jane.

Even though the car was moving, the girl tried to open the door, but it was locked and because it was a newer car, she wasn't able to unlock it. She curled herself into a ball on the floor of the car and tried telling herself to stay strong. Then she felt a hand in her hair and she screamed as Jane pulled it.

"You are in so much trouble, little brat! How dare you get me in trouble like this?! I'm not going to jail for you unless you're dead! That's the only way you're worth it!" She let go of her hair and laughed at her. "Start saying your prayers, Emma."

"My mommy will find me. She's a detective, she will find me." Her little voice came out shaky, but brave at the same time.

Jane laughed. "Oh she'll find you, but not in time." The woman pulled the car into an underground parking lot that belonged to an empty, deserted building. "No one is here, little brat. No one will hear you scream." She got out and went around, pulling Emma from the car and dragging her to a stair case. She went up and went in the first abandoned room, throwing Emma down inside.

Emma looked around and noticed the windows were boarded up and the only door out was being locked by Jane, the lock too high for her to reach. She ran into what would have been the kitchen area and crawled into a cupboard, closing it. "Mommy, please find me."

Jane shook her head as she went into the kitchen and pulled Emma out of the cupboard by her hair and back into the main room. She had the place ready and she grabbed the rope and tied Emma's hands together, followed by her feet. "You're not going anywhere." She stated as she kicked the girl in the stomach.

Emma let out a whimper as the wind was knocked out of her. Jane picked the girl up and took her to the chair. She sat down with Emma draped over her lap as she grabbed the belt she had ready. She started whipping the girl's bottom and back, letting out her anger on her.

At first, Emma let out some screams, but after a bit, something happened. In her mind, she just kept thinking about Olivia - about the things they'd done together. It was like her brain was taking her to another place so it didn't focus on what was going on with her body. However, she snapped out of it when she was pushed back on the ground and kicked in the side.

Jane had enough and knew that the entire of NYPD would be after her. It was time to get to business. "Okay, Emma, now you bleed." She got out a knife and held it in front of Emma who closed her eyes tight, not wanting to see it. She let out a scream as she felt the blade on her arm, the pain worse than she ever imagined. Then it was on her other arm, Jane cutting deep enough to make her bleed, but not hitting any veins.

"Please stop! Please! It hurts!" Emma cried out as she felt her shirt being ripped and the cool blade on her back. "Please don't do this. I'm sorry! I'll take it all back. I'll tell them I lied. Please just stop!"

Jane laughed - more of a cackle than a laugh as she slid the blade on the girls back, not cutting, but more running it along her skin. "Too late, little Swan. You already ruined it. I told you once before that you would ruin your own life and look, I was right." She pushed the blade into Emma's skin, watching the blood drip. Again, it wasn't deep enough to really do much damage, but deep enough to hurt and need stitches...not that she planned on Emma surviving. She drug the knife from just below Emma's neck all the way down to her lower back.

Just as she was about to actually start the stabbing, the door was kicked down and Jane was pulled away from the girl.

"Emma! Oh God, Emma are you okay?"

Emma looked up as she felt her hands and feet being untied, and saw Nick. "Nick...you found me." Tears were running down her face as she tried to move. "It hurts."

"Don't move, sweetie. Fynn, call for a bus!" He took his shirt off and pressed it on Emma's back, seeing as to how that cut was the worst. He brushed Emma's hair from her head and looked at her. "You're so strong, Emma. So brave. Stay strong, okay? We'll get you to the hospital and your mom will be there."

Emma sniffed, trying so hard to stay strong. "She will? Nick it really hurts."

"I know, honey. I know it hurts. Try focusing on something else, okay. Here, want me to call your mom?"

Emma nodded as Nick pulled his phone out and dialed. "Olivia, we got her. She's hurt, but we got her. Yeah, she's right here."

He held the phone by Emma's ear.

"Mommy?"

"Oh baby girl. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, mommy. It hurts. She cut me. She said she was gonna kill me."

Olivia shook her head as she held onto Amanda's hand. "Oh baby, I'm sorry. I'll be at the hospital. They'll make you all better."

"Okay, Mommy. The ambulance is here. I gotta go."

"Olivia, they're going to Brooklyn Medical."

"Nick, how is she, really?"

He stepped away as the EMT's started getting Emma ready to go in the ambulance. "I'll just be over here, Emma." He then lowered his voice. "She cut her bad. All up her arms and from her neck to her lower back. I don't think veins were hit, but she'll need stitches. It looks like she beat her too."

Olivia was already following Amanda to her car as Carol stayed behind with Tracy who had come back just minutes before. "Please tell me they shot her."

"No. She's in custody and she won't get bail this time. Olivia, Emma wants me on the ambulance with her. I have to go."

"Okay, I'll meet you at the hospital. Thanks for being there, Nick."

Olivia got in the car and her and Amanda headed for the hospital. "She's okay. Hurt, but okay. She's alive and it sounds like any longer, and she wouldn't be."

Amanda reached over and too Olivia's hand. "She's alive. Focus on that."

The women got to the hospital and were greeted by Nick. "She's in getting stitches. The doctor was waiting for you for an update."

Olivia went to the desk and a few moments, a doctor came out. He took them to a room and put up the x-rays on the wall. "Emma is getting stitches in her back now. The cuts on her arms were long but not deep. They have bandages, but her back was a little deeper. No damage to nerves, but she will have about 70 stitches all together." He handed Olivia a picture and she gasped and shook her head as she saw the cut. Amanda put her hand on Olivia's back and Nick pretended he didn't see the interaction between them. "She's also got two cracked ribs. Unfortunately for that, all we can do is have her rest until they heal."

Olivia swallowed, trying to keep her emotions in check. "She said it hurt. I don't want her to hurt."

"We have her on pain killers. She will need to stay here at least overnight, of course, you can stay too, but while she's here, she will have a morphine drip for the pain."

"Okay. Okay good. Can I see her?"

"Let me check on how things are going."

He left and Nick looked at them. "Olivia, I have to go turn in my report. I'll be back if you want me back."

Olivia nodded and hugged him. "Thank you. I think Emma will want to see you, but maybe call first in case she's out of it."

"Do you want me with you?" Amanda asked as she looked at Nick.

"I think you should stay. Emma will want to see you too."

He left and the doctor came back.

"They're finishing up now, and she's asking for you. She's really a strong girl, isn't she?"

Olivia nodded. "You have no idea."

"I'll let you and Emma have some time and I'll go get us some coffee."

"Bring Emma some ice cream?"

Amanda smiled and nodded. "Will do."

The doctor lead Olivia to the room and every part of her wanted to cry when she saw Emma in that big bed, IV and wires hooked up to her little body. The nurse was helping her prop up some pillows and showing her how to lay with out ripping the stitches. Once she was in place, the nurse carefully tucked pillows and rolled up blankets around her so she wouldn't move in her sleep. If worse came to worse, they'd have her sleep on her stomach.

"Mommy!" Emma tried to smile, but Olivia could see the sadness surrounding it. She moved quickly to the girl and carefully hugged her and kissed her head.

"Oh my princess. I am so sorry. I...I didn't even see her coming."

Emma shook her head. "I know. It's okay. It's not your fault."

The nurse came over and explained to Emma how too push the button when she was in pain. She assured Olivia that even if Emma pushed it 10 times, it was pre-registered with how much to give so the girl could not OD on it. "Once you push it, you probably will fall asleep, but that's okay. You need sleep. Your body needs to heal."

Emma nodded and let out a breath. "I don't like it here, Mommy."

"I know, baby girl. But you have to be here at least tonight." Olivia sat down next to the bed and ran her fingers through her baby's hair. "I'm glad you're here because it means you're not with her."

Emma nodded and looked at Olivia. "I shouldn't have said what she did to me. Then she wouldn't have done this."

Olivia shook her head. "You did nothing wrong. You did the right thing. She's the wrong one, Emma not you."

Emma sighed. "It hurts, mommy. Can I push the button?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes, baby. Push the button and get some rest. When you get up, Amanda will be here and maybe Nick if you want."

Emma pushed the button and nodded. "He saved me. I want him here." After literally a few seconds, Emma's eyes closed and she was out cold.

Olivia then let her tears fall as she watched her baby girl sleep. "Oh Emma. You didn't deserve this." She let out as she kissed her head and just watched her sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

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Chapter 12

Olivia watched Emma sleep, watched the pain leave her face as the morphine did it's job. She called Carol to give her and Tracy an update and was trying to do anything to keep herself busy. She leaned over the sleeping girl and kissed her forehead.

"I'm so sorry, Emma. I love you so much."

"She knows, Olivia." Amanda stated softly as she put the coffee and ice cream down on a table.

"I'm so scared, Amanda. What if she wakes up and hates me? What if she wont want to stay with me? What if she goes further into herself? What if..."

"Stop, Liv. You're going to drive yourself crazy with the what ifs."

"She's right." The nurse stated as she came in and jotted some numbers down off the machines. "She was asking for you ever since she got here. She loves you, don't let yourself doubt that."

"Maybe, but I don't see why she'd trust me, nor do I know how we're going to get through this. She's been through so much already."

Olivia sighed and the nurse closed her folder. "You're right. I've seen her medical records. But this time, she's not alone. For a child, having someone is very important." The nurse went to the table and saw the ice cream. "She's going to be sleeping for a while. I can go take this to our small freezer so it's not melted when she wakes up."

"Thank you. That would be nice." Amanda agreed and the nurse left. "She has a point, Liv. You're here, she's not alone like in the past. That will show her you care."

"I hope you're right."

Amanda sat by Olivia and the two talked about work and Amanda's new job for a while. Olivia looked at Emma and sighed. "She's supposed to have therapy tomorrow and I'm supposed to go into work at least half days."

"Don't worry about work, Liv, we've got you covered." Nick stated as he came in with fresh coffee. "You have almost a whole year saved up in vacation hours. Let's just have you focus on Emma. Besides, we've got Robert and David so we're not short right now. That's not to say we don't want you back when you and Emma are ready, but for now, we're okay."

"Thank you, Nick. I appreciate it. I'm going to go call Dr. Mason to reschedule."

Olivia went to the hall and Nick looked at Amanda, knowingly.

"You and Liv make a cute couple." He smirked.

"I..what?" The blonde played dumb, causing Nick to laugh.

"Don't worry, I won't say anything. It makes sense now though. I didn't think the baby alone would make you transfer."

Amanda looked down and shrugged. "It is just the baby, Nick. The transfer went through before anything happened with Olivia and I. Besides, I'm not exactly sure there is anything between us. We're putting Emma first."

"You kissed. You kissed and you both smiled."

They both looked at Emma who yawned and then winced a little before giving a small smile.

"They kissed? You saw them kiss and didn't tell me? Oh Em. I thought we were friends now." Nick joked.

"We are, but 'Manda was my friend first."

Amanda smiled softly and stroked Emma's forehead. "How are you feeling, Fred?"

Emma gave another smile at the name. "It hurts and itches. Where's Olivia?"

"She went to call Dr. Mason to reschedule your appointment." Amanda said as she pressed the nurse call button. "She's here, just in the hall."

"Okay, good. I want her here."

The nurse came in and smiled. "You're awake. Darn, I was going to eat this." She joked as she showed Emma the ice cream. "Let's sit you up, princess, so you can eat your ice cream."

With the nurses help, Emma sat up, wincing as her back hurt. The nurse fixed her pillow and helped her back before handing her the ice cream. Usually Emma would be digging in, but she just said a polite 'thank you' and sort of played with her spoon in the plastic bowl.

"What's wrong? I thought you'd like chocolate." Amanda asked, noticing the difference in the girl.

"I do. Thank you. I just...I'm not very hungry, and my back really hurts." Emma's eyes filled with tears as she glared at her ice cream. "I don't like hurting all the time. I thought the hurt was over." She let out, taking a deep breath to try and stop herself from crying.

Amanda's own eyes welled up as she looked at Nick and then back to Emma. "I know this isn't at all what anyone thought would happen, baby girl. It's okay to be upset. You have every right to be mad or sad or both."

Emma's teeth clenched and she gripped the bowl and threw it across the room. "You and 'Livia and that lady at the office all said I was doing the right thing! You all said if I told the truth, she'd never be able to hurt me! I did tell the truth! I did! And then she came after me!"

Olivia came in hearing Emma, and rushed to her bed. She cupped Emma's cheeks and looked into her eyes. "Emma, my love. I'm so sorry. You did do the right thing. I'm so proud of you for what you did. I know it feels like you've been punished and I'm so sorry." Olivia's tears started to fall, this was what she was scared of. "I'm so sorry, Emma. I tried so hard to keep you safe. I never wanted this for you, I swear."

Emma wrapped her arms around Olivia, letting herself cry into her. Olivia pressed her lips to Emma's head, keeping them there as she rocked back and forth. Nick went to clean up the ice cream and Amanda sat down, giving the two their space.

"Let it out, Emma. Cry all you want, get as mad as you want, but please know that I love you so much and I'm so sorry."

Emma cried some more before calming down. She let out a sigh and looked at Olivia. "I love you, mommy. I'm trying not to be mad at you, I'm just tired of all this." These were the times Emma seemed much older than she was, and it pained Olivia to see that.

"Be mad at me. I don't blame you." Olivia said quietly. "But please know that I'm so sorry."

"I know, mommy. You're still here. That shows me that you love me. I know it wasn't your fault. I do know that. I'm just so...tired."

Olivia knew Emma meant emotionally tired and she didn't blame her. "Do you want to lay back down?"

Emma shook her head and looked at Olivia. "I'm sorry I threw the ice cream." Her voice was so small.

Before Olivia could answer, the nurse came in. "No harm done, princess, but you do need to eat something so the medicine doesn't make you sick. How about some soup and jello?" The nurse knew that if Emma were to get sick, either from the morphine or the fact that she's so upset, that soup and jello would be easier on her stomach.

"I'll try." Emma said and the nurse went to get her food.

"Emma, don't worry. No one is mad at you for throwing the ice cream." Olivia said softly as she stroked Emma's cheek.

Nick came over and put his hand on Emma's. "She's right. We are all mad, Emma. We're all handling it in our own ways. I have to get going, but you tell Olivia to call me if you need anything, okay?"

Emma nodded and motioned for him to come closer. When he did she hugged him. "Thank you for saving me." She said quietly. Nick could only nod, not trusting his voice at the moment. He tapped her nose and said a quiet good bye before leaving.

Amanda got up and kissed Emma's cheek. "I need to head out too. But I'll be here in the morning. Would you like me to bring you anything?"

"Can you bring my blanket?"

"Of course, Emma. Do you want me to go get it now? I can bring it back tonight before I go home."

Emma shook her head, even though she wanted to say yes. "It's okay. You gotta go home."

Amanda smiled softly. "I'll go get it now. You should have it while you sleep tonight."

Olivia gave Amanda her key so she could get her blanket. "Do you want me to bring you anything, Olivia? A change of clothes for tomorrow?" Amanda knew Olivia wouldn't be going anywhere that night.

"Actually, if you don't mind..."

"Not at all. I'll be back in a bit." The blonde left and Emma looked at Olivia.

"Are you staying here?"

"Of course. I don't want to leave you here alone. Unless...unless you want me to."

Emma shook her head. "I don't wanna be alone."

Olivia tucked some blonde hair behind Emma's ear. "Good. I don't wanna be alone either."

Olivia was about to go to the chair when Emma grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong, Olivia. You don't have to keep saying you're sorry. I love you."

Olivia swallowed and gave a smile. "I love you too, Emma." She then moved the chair right next to the bed. "Want to watch TV?"

Emma nodded and tried to relax as Olivia found a children's program to watch. The nurse came in and moved the bed tray in front of Emma. "I won't make you eat all of this, but if you could at least eat half the soup and the jello, it will help the medicine not make you sick."

"Okay. I'll try. Thank you."

Emma did manage to eat all the soup and jello and the nurse came back in to clean up. "Do you want to lay back now?"

Emma nodded, tiredly. The nurse and Olivia helped Emma lay back down and Olivia hated seeing the pain in Emma's face. The nurse noticed too and looked at Emma. "Honey, would you like to sleep on your stomach? I know your ribs hurt too, but I think it'll feel better on your back."

Emma thought for a bit and nodded. "Yes. And I have to go to the bathroom."

"Okay, it's going to hurt to move, but it's good that your body is doing what it's supposed to."

The nurse helped Emma out of the bed and kept telling her not to rush, that there was no hurry. After using the bathroom, Emma came back and the nurse helped her lay on her stomach. "This is good, actually, because we need to change your bandages."

"Is it gonna hurt?"

"Not too much."

The nurse went about changing the bandages and smiled at Emma. "You're so brave. You're doing very well. None of the stitches have pulled and you're already starting to heal."

Emma simply nodded. "Can I push the button? It really hurts."

"Yes, love. You don't have to ask. You push it when ever you want to."

Just then, Amanda came in. "I have your blanket." She handed it to Emma who tucked it under her arm, cuddling it.

"Thank you, 'Manda. I love you. I love you, mommy. I need to push the button now."

Olivia kissed Emma's cheek. "I love you, too. I'll be right here all night, so if you need anything, you let me know."

"Okay." Emma stated as she yawned. She pushed the button and with in seconds, was asleep.

The nurse then showed Olivia how the chair reclined into a cot bed and got her a blanket and pillow. "I know you're tired, even if you don't think you are. Please try and get some sleep. You'll be no help to Emma if you're exhausted."

"She's right. But eat first." Amanda stated as she handed Olivia both her bag with clothes and a cup of noodles. "I really have to go, but I'll be here in the morning. If you think of anything you need, let me know." With out thinking, Amanda leaned over and kissed Olivia softly. She went to pull away, but Olivia wrapped her arms around the blonde and kissed her back.

"Thank you for everything, Amanda. I wouldn't have gotten through the day without you."

"You're welcome." Amanda smiled softly. "Good night."

"Good night."

Olivia put the TV on another channel and changed into her pajamas before laying in the chair bed and ate her noodles. Before she turned the lights out and the TV off, she looked at Emma and was glad the girl was able to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

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**Chapter 13**

_"Emma? Baby girl, where are you?" Olivia found herself walking around and abandoned warehouse looking for her little girl. "Emma, please answer me." But nothing came. Olivia found a door and opened it, her heart dropping as she walked in. "No! Emma, my baby, no." Olivia looked down at Emma's lifeless, pale body. There was blood, too much blood. "Emma please." The brunette knelt down and felt for a pulse, but there was none. She gasped when she saw Emma's green eyes open and look at her._

_"You didn't protect me, Olivia. You promised I was safe, and now I'm dead. I would have been better off with the Montorelli's."_

Olivia gasped as she jumped in her sleep, her eyes snapping open. Her heart was pounding and she looked over and saw Emma still sleeping. She took some deep breaths to calm her nerves. This was her third nightmare that night, and in each of them, Emma was dead and blaming Olivia for it. The woman was ready to ask for her own dose of morphine as she turned the tv back on and decided to give up on sleep. Emma slept soundly due to the morphine and Olivia was thankful for that. She didn't want Emma to have more nightmares, even though she knew that was not realistic.

When it was about 430 am, Olivia decided it was an okay time to go get some coffee. She checked on Emma and then let the nurses know she was just going to go to the lobby of the hospital to get coffee. It felt good to stretch her legs and she ended up drinking one cup before refilling it and heading back up to Emma's room.

As soon as the elevator door opened, Olivia knew something was wrong. The nurses weren't at the station and she heard screaming coming from Emma's room. Olivia ran to the room and her heart fell at seeing her baby girl so upset.

"Mommy! Where's my mommy? I want my mommy!"

"Emma sweetie, please calm down. Your mom just went for some coffee. Honey, you have to stop moving so much. Please, love. Your stitches are pulling."

Olivia rushed over and gently put her hand on Emma' upper back, away from her stitches. "I'm right here, love. I just went for some coffee. You were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you."

Emma took some deep breaths to calm herself down. "I woked up and you weren't here." The girl whispered, looking at Olivia the best she could. Her face was stained with tears and Olivia felt so guilty.

"I'm here, love. I'm sorry I stepped away."

"Mommy, it hurts." The girl whimpered.

"I know, love. I wish I could take the pain away." Olivia stated as she leaned down and kissed her cheek. "The less you move, the less it will hurt."

"She's right, Emma. Let's go use the bathroom and then you can rest." One of the nurses helped Emma to the bathroom and Olivia sat down with a heavy sigh.

"I'm so sorry." She said to the other nurse who was getting things ready to change the bandages.

"Don't be. You're allowed to go get coffee. I think she was just scared when she woke up."

"It's because she's been in hospitals alone before."

"I know I saw her medical records. It's so sad that she's gone through so much." The nurse looked at Olivia and gave a soft smile. "You didn't sleep, did you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"You'll have time today. Emma will still be in pain and unfortunately, her moving around like that didn't help. They said she may go home today, but I'm not sure she's ready. If you want something to help you sleep, we can help with that."

"I may take you up on that. I thought one night may be too hopeful."

"The good thing is that she's young. She will heal fast. If she can try hard to lay still today, especially if she lays on her stomach, she may have a chance of going home tomorrow."

"I don't want to give her false hope. If I can be honest, I'd rather she stay until she can move with out risking ripping the stitches."

"We'd like that too, but most insurance companies don't."

"I don't care about that. I'll pay what ever I need to pay in order for her to be comfortable. Please tell the doctor that. Tell him that what ever insurance doesn't cover, I'll pay."

"I will. But you have great insurance."

"I just want to make sure Emma's ready. That's all I care about."

Emma and the other nurse came out of the bathroom and Emma rubbed her eye. "I'm sorry I got so upset. I was scared, and my brain feels fuzzy."

Olivia gave a soft smile. "It's okay. It's the medicine and the fact that I wasn't here. I'm sorry, Emma."

"It's okay, mommy. I should have stopped screaming and listened to what the nurses were saying."

"Okay great. So no one is mad and we can move on." The kind older nurse stated, smiling. "Now Emma, I know it's not that comfortable on your stomach, but I think you're going to heal so much faster if you do."

"It's okay. I like to sleep on my stomach. I just can't see TV or anyone that's here."

"Hmm. Well it's so early right now, so let's get back on your stomach, let us change your bandages, you push the magical button and get some more sleep. Later, if you're feeling better, we'll let you sit up for a while. How does that sound?"

Emma thought a bit and nodded. "Sounds good to me."

Olivia helped Emma get on the bed and she winced when Emma did as she hated seeing her in pain. Olivia ran her fingers through Emma's hair as the nurses started changing the bandages. Emma looked at Olivia with those big green eyes. "I'm not going home today, am I?"

"Not today, Princess. But maybe if you're feeling better later, I can see if Ms. Tracy and Ruby can come visit. Would you like that?"

Emma smiled. "Yes. And Amanda and Nick?"

Olivia grinned. "Amanda is already texting me asking when she can come. I'm sure if Nick isn't busy, he'd like to come too."

Emma, observant for her age, looked at Olivia. "You didn't sleep, did you Mommy?"

"Not very well. How did you know?"

"Your eyes look tired. You don't hafta stay. I'm sorry I maded you stay."

"Oh Emma, nothing could have kept me away from you. You didn't make you stay, I wanted to."

"Maybe if Amanda comes, you can go home and sleep."

"Don't you worry about me, Princess. Let's just focus on getting you better."

"Okay, Emma. Good job. We're all done here. Do you want to sleep now?"

Emma sighed. "I slept all night."

"I know, but the medicine will make you tired. Are you in pain?"

Emma nodded and reached for the morphine button. "Mommy, you can go home now if you want and come back later. I won't get upset this time."

"Actually, I think I'm going to try to sleep here some more. It's still early."

Emma smiled as she pushed the button, she really didn't want Olivia to leave, but wouldn't get upset if she did. One of the nurses left as the other helped Emma get comfortable. The girl was out like a light.

"She pulled some of the stitches, but not bad enough to have to redo them. I still think that if she can try not to move too much, she's on a good path of healing. Now, let me go get you a sleep aid."

Normally, Olivia wouldn't take something, but she really did need some sleep and she hoped the aid would mean no nightmares. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

Olivia kissed Emma once more before getting back into the other bed. The nurse came in and gave Olivia some tablets. "Just let it dissolve. It should kick in pretty quickly. It's just an over the counter, so it's not as good as the stuff that Emma has." She joked. "But it will work."

"Thank you so much." Olivia took the tablets and laid back as the nurse left, turning the lights off. Whether it was the pills or just the fact that she was so tired, Olivia did get some dreamless sleep in. When she woke up again, she was surprised that it was already 1030. She looked at Emma who was looking at her and smiled.

"How are you feeling, Em?"

Emma shrugged and then regretted it. "It really hurts today, Mommy."

Olivia got up and went to be by her baby girl. "I know, love. If I could, I'd take the pain away in a heartbeat. Honey, why don't you press the button again? It's good for you to sleep. You heal faster when you're sleeping."

"But it makes my brain feel fuzzy. And I'm hungry."

Olivia smiled softly. "Okay. Then let's get you something to eat and then see how you feel. Okay?'

"Okay. But I can't eat on my stomach."

Olivia pressed the nurse call and the same older woman came in. "Oh the sleepy heads are awake. How are you feeling, Emma?"

"Hungry."

The nurse laughed. "Okay, but how's your back?"

"It hurts, but I wanna eat and see if my brains stops feeling fuzzy."

"That happens with that medicine. Let's sit you up and you can order breakfast."

Olivia and the nurse helped Emma sit up and made sure she was comfortable before she went to get Emma the menu they had for patients.

"You and Mommy can both order something." She looked at Olivia. "Your insurance covers you both."

Emma looked at the menu, glad there were pictures as Olivia pulled the nurse aside. "You've been so kind. What is your name?"

"Oh, I'm Eugenia. I know you said that you'd pay anything, but I did check with your insurance. They will cover Emma for up to a week with out prior authorization and longer if the doctor writes to them and explains why Emma should stay. However, I don't see her needing to stay that long. You must have a great job."

"I work for SVU. I've been there for years and have rarely needed to use my insurance, but I'm glad I've updated everything and kept it."

"SVU? I bet you have seen so many sad cases."

"Yes, but I'm sure you have as well."

"Yes. It's sad."

"Mommy! They gots chocolate pancakes! Can I please have those?"

Olivia smiled at Emma and went over to her. "I don't know. Chocolate for breakfast?"

Emma gave her puppy eyes. "Please, mommy? It may make my back feel better."

Olivia chuckled. "Oh okay fine. But I want you to get fruit as well."

"Okay, Mommy." Emma looked at the nurse. "I'll have chocolate pancakes and a fruit cup and my mommy will have toast and coffee."

The nurse chuckled and looked at Olivia. "She knows you well."

"She does. But today, I'll also take two eggs over easy." She tapped Emma's nose. "I'll call room service. Eugenia is a nurse, not a waitress."

Eugenia smiled. "But if you ever want or need anything at all, you let me know. I'm here until three."

Olivia ordered the food as Emma flipped through a book. The two were just finishing eating when Tracy and Ruby came to the door.

"Emma! You're awake! Mommy said you may be sleeping."

Ruby rushed over to the bed, and then remembering what her mom said, she put her hand on Emma's. "Are you hurt bad?"

Tracy didn't give Ruby too many details, she didn't think it would be appropriate. However, the girl knew that Emma was hurt and had to stay in the hospital and that Ruby had to be careful around her.

"It hurts when I move. But when I push this button, it doesn't hurt as much. But then I fall asleep, so I haven't pushed it in a while."

"Emma? I'm going to just step in the hall and talk to Tracy. We'll be right back."

"Okay, mommy."

Olivia went in the hall to fill Tracy in on everything. Not only because Tracy cared, but also because she needed someone to talk to. Ruby looked at Emma and sat on a chair.

"I'm sorry you're hurt, Emma. It made me really sad when you was missing and then when I heard you were hurt."

Emma gave a shrug. "You don't gotta be sorry. You didn't hurt me and mommy said you helped hand out pictures of me when I was missing. Thank you."

"I wanted to find you! I'm so glad you're back."

"We're all glad you're back." Came a voice by the door, making Emma light up.

"Amanda! You came!"

"I sure did, sugar-roo. I missed you." Amanda came in and kissed Emma's temple. She also handed her a gift bag. "I brought you something."

Emma smiled. "You didn't have to." She took out the tissue paper and smiled wider. "Thanks, Amanda!" Emma pulled out some coloring books and crayons.

"I figured you'd be in bed for a while and this may help you pass the time."

"Oh Emma look! It's Care bears!" Ruby grinned at Amanda. "Me and Emma love Care bears."

"I'm glad you do." Amanda stated with a smile as she sat down.

"Amanda? Can you tell mommy to go home for a while?"

Amanda looked confused. "Why?"

"Because she isn't sleeping very well. Amanda, if you stay, maybe she'll go take care of herself for a while. Usually she takes a shower every night and she didn't get to last night and I'm not going home today so she should go shower today."

"Is she getting smelly?'

Emma giggled and shook her head. "No, silly. But she likes to shower."

Olivia and Tracy came in and as Emma was showing Tracy her new coloring books, Amanda pulled Olivia aside.

"Emma wants me to ask you to go home."

"What?"

Amanda smiled softly. "She said you like to shower at night and didn't get to last night and won't tonight, so you should go shower today and take care of yourself for a while. Don't worry, she said you're not smelly yet."

Olivia chuckled and looked at Amanda before leaning over and kissing her cheek. "You don't mind?"

Amanda blushed slightly and shook her head. "I don't mind at all."

"Okay. I think she needs to get back on her stomach soon though and sleep."

"Don't worry. I'll get her to do that. Take your time. Take a bath, relax, change and know that she's in good hands."

Olivia gave Amanda a hug and softly kissed her lips. "You're too kind."

Amanda liked this attention and she wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist. "You'll just owe me." She smirked.

"Hmm. I like the sound of that."

Amanda kissed Olivia softly before the two went back to Emma. "Okay, Emma. I talked Mommy into going home for a while, but in return, you have to get ready to get on your stomach and sleep some more."

"Why do you have to be on your stomach?" Ruby asked before her mom could stop her.

"Because the cut on my back hurts if I sleep on my back."

"Oh." Ruby said quietly. "The bad lady cut you?" Ruby's big brown eyes misted at the thought of her friend being cut. "Why did she do that? You're a good person."

Tracy put her hand on Ruby's shoulder. "She is a very good person. But the lady was a very, very bad lady." She looked at Emma and touched her hand. "You didn't deserve this at all."

Emma just nodded and sadly looked at Ruby. "Thank you for saying I'm a good person."

"You are, Emma. You really are. You're so nice and kind. You know that, right?"

The adults let this conversation go where it would. Olivia was glad that someone other than herself was telling Emma this.

"I don't know. Bad things always happen to me and I think it's cuz I'm bad."

Amanda looked at Emma, but before she or Olivia could say anything, Ruby took Emma's hand.

"No, Emma. You're not bad. If you was bad, Olivia wouldn't want you. But she does, she loves you and we all think you're really great. You're my bestest friend, and I'm only friends with good people."

Emma gave a smile and squeezed Ruby's hand. "Thank you, Ruby."

"Yes. Thank you, Ruby." Olivia stated as she hugged the brunette.

Tracy kissed Emma's temple and tapped her nose. "We love you, Emma. We can't wait until you come home. Do what the nurses tell you and you'll come home sooner."

Emma nodded and looked at all of them. "Thank you for coming to see me. No one ever came before and it makes me really happy. But...I'm really hurting and I have to push the button soon."

"It's okay, Emma. We have to get going. If you're not home on Wednesday, we'll come see you again."

Tracy and Ruby headed out and Olivia called for a nurse.

"You ready for a rest, Ems?" Eugenia asked as she came into the room.

Emma just nodded and let her and Olivia help her to her stomach. Eugenia changed the bandages again and smiled. "You're healing, love. We won't have to change these again until tonight. I won't be here but my friend Mal will be here and will take very good care of you."

"Okay. Thank you." Emma stated as she pushed the button and fell asleep.

"Olivia, that's your queue to go. Don't worry, I did so much work last night that I can take off today and tomorrow. Perks of working from home. So, do what Emma said and go home and take care of yourself for a few hours."

Eugenia looked at them. "You know, you could both go. She'll be asleep for a few hours."

"I promised her I'd stay." Amanda answered. "But thank you."

"No problem." Eugenia left and Olivia pulled Amanda in for another hug. She liked that she could do this now and not worry about their jobs.

"I won't be long."

"Take as long as you'd like." Amanda stated as she pulled Olivia closer, kissing her softly.

"One of these days, we're going on a proper date, Rollins."

Amanda grinned. "I'm patient. Once Emma is ready, we'll go on a real date."

"Okay, I better go now before I decide not to go."

Olivia kissed Amanda before heading home. Once there, she did as Amanda suggested and filled the tub. She couldn't relax, though and found herself getting out long before she normally would. She changed and packed some more clothes for herself and Emma before heading back to the hospital.

Olivia smiled as she came in the room and found Amanda sitting on the chair, her head resting on the bed next to Emma. She was fast asleep and when Olivia noticed she was holding Emma's hand, her heart melted just a bit. Olivia decided that since she wasn't seen yet, she'd go get something to eat.

Amanda awoke to the smell of pizza and she sat up, stretching her back.

"I can't take you on a proper date, but that doesn't mean I can't treat you. How's Emma doing?"

Amanda grinned. "Well she woke up and pushed the button again about a half hour ago."

"So she'll be asleep again for a while. I guess it's good she's sleeping so much. It'll help her heal."

Mal, the new nurse, came in and smiled. She heard from Eugenia all about Emma and her mom and friends. She noticed the pizza and after checking on Emma, she looked at the women.

"If this is a date, I think you guys need a better place to eat. Emma will be asleep for a while. Follow me."

Before they could protest, Mal took the pizza box and lead them to a conference room down the hall. She put the box down, went to the cupboard and brought out some plates and plastic forks. "It's not the best, but it's better than in the room with nothing. Now, you two are allowed to relax. Don't you dare feel guilty if you have a good time. Emma will be fine, I promise."

She then left and Amanda let out a chuckle. "Were we that obvious?" She asked as she sat down.

"I don't know. Eugenia probably told her about us. The nurses here are so nice."

The two did relax a bit and enjoyed their time together. By the time they were done, Emma was waking up and ready to eat. Amanda and Olivia sat with her as she ate and watched some TV with her. It was getting late and Amanda said good bye to both her girls and soon enough, it was just Emma and Olivia.

Mal came in and helped Emma down to use the bathroom and then changed her bandages. She then handed Olivia some sleep aids and bid them goodnight.

Olivia ran her fingers through Emma's hair. "Good night, my sweet girl. You did very good today."

Emma smiled and kissed Olivia's hand. "Good night, Mommy. I love you."

"I love you too."

Emma was soon asleep and Olivia took the sleep aids and was soon sleeping herself.


	14. Chapter 14

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Chapter 14

The next few days saw Emma being the perfect patient. What five year old wouldn't love having guests come with presents, ice cream, noodles and love? Two days Olivia went into work while Amanda stayed with Emma. She had vacation to burn, but she wanted to introduce herself to the new detectives. She was a mixture of glad, but also kind of jealous that they had everything under control with out her. Of course Finn and Nick said she was very much missed, but that she needed to take her time. Emma took a bit longer to heal than Eugenia had originally thought, but she had stopped pressing the morphine button during the day on her third day and only pressed it at night. Olivia wondered if it was because she was scared to have nightmares, and on the fifth night, she asked if the dosage could be lowered.

"Don't worry, Olivia. Since yesterday, she hasn't actually had morphine at all. Instead, when she pushed the button, she got a low dose of Ibuprofen. We didn't tell her because we wanted to see if she would feel more pain or not. It's a good sign." She put her hand on Olivia's shoulder. "Though I'll miss having you both here."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you. We'll miss you as well. Doctor said she should be cleared either tonight or tomorrow. I just...I hope she's okay once we get home."

"I know it's not my business, so don't feel like you have to answer, but, does she see a psychiatrist? You and your friends are great with her, but she may need more."

"Yes. She was seeing one already for her past. Dr. Mason has been updated on everything and is ready to help her through this."

"Good. Now, go see her. She missed you today." Eugenia smiled as she went back to the nurses station and Olivia went in Emma's room.

Olivia smiled seeing Emma sitting up and playing a game with Amanda. When Emma saw Olivia, her eyes lit right up. "Mommy! Mommy guess what?"

"What, baby girl? Are you kicking Amanda's butt in connect four?"

Emma giggled. "Yes, but that's not what I was gonna tell you."

"She cheats." Amanda said dryly.

"I do not! You just don't like to lose!"

Olivia chuckled as she kissed Emma's cheek and then Amanda's. "We both know she's right about that." She stated as she sat down. Amanda just jokingly grumbled.

"What did you really want to tell me, Fred?"

Emma giggled again, the sound was music to Olivia's ears. "I gotted my stitches out!" She showed her arms and then lifted the gown to show her back. Olivia saw that the stitches were gone and the scar was already looking so much better.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here with you."

"It's okay, mommy. Amanda helded my hand and it didn't hurt too much. The doctor said I did really good and that I can go home soon."

"That's great, baby girl. You've been such a good patient." Olivia noticed Emma's eyes lose their light and something like fear was in her face. "What's wrong, Emma? Don't you want to go home?"

Emma nodded slowly and sighed. "Yes, but I want to bring this medicine with me. Mommy, I had no nightmares while I was here. None. I don't wanna have them again."

Olivia moved and sat on the bed next to Emma, wrapping her arm around her. "Honey, I know you hate nightmares. Everyone does. But I'm afraid that there's no way for us to stop them. I think you haven't had any because your body has been so focused on healing that it hasn't had a chance to focus on anything else. If you have nightmares, we'll deal with them like we always do."

"You mean you making me feel safe?"

Olivia nodded and bit her lip. "I do still make you feel safe, don't I?"

Emma nodded and looked at Olivia. "Yes, of course you do."

"Even though I couldn't protect you like I promised?"

Emma turned and looked at Olivia. "Mommy don't. Maybe you couldn't keep her from me, but you didn't give up. Nick and Amanda both told me how upset you were and how you didn't stop looking for me. I'm not stupid, mommy, I know that if you didn't love me, if you didn't care, I never would have been saved. I'm sorry that I was mad at you at first, but I wasn't really. I just...I was mad at her and saying I was mad at you."

Olivia pulled Emma close and kissed her forehead. "I understand and I'd understand if you were mad at me. But I will do everything I can to keep you safe, Emma. I promise."

There was a knock at the door and Emma moved closer to Olivia when she saw Alex, the DA. She incorporated the woman with Jane now.

"It's okay, Emma. I know the last time you saw me wasn't that great, but I'm here with some good news." She came in and sat down. "Jane is in jail for life. Her trial was short and you won't ever have to worry about her again."

"Good." Emma said with a nod. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, but there's more. The Montorelli's are also in jail, Emma. Because you were so brave to tell us everything, we were able to investigate and see that you weren't the only one who they had hurt. They will be in jail for a very long time as well." Alex gave Emma a smile. "Emma, you were so brave and so strong to tell us everything that we've been able to help any kids that these people could have had in the future. You're a hero."

Emma looked at Alex and seemed to not hear the hero part, only the other part. "They hurt other kids? If they hurt other kids, why did I get sent there?"

Olivia rubbed Emma's arm as Alex sighed. Of course Emma would ask this; this girl was smarter than the average five year old. "We don't know, Emma. Part of it is because some kids didn't say anything, and part of it is because social services didn't do their job. There were reports made but..."

"But they said the kid was lying." Emma said, angry tears in her eyes as she picked at her blanket. "They always say we're lying. Even if we have bruises or scars, they say we lie. Maybe some do, but not all of us."

Alex put her hand over Emma's. "I know you've been treated so unfairly, Emma. You've inspired me though. I've talked with some lawyer friends and friends in different fields and we've pushed social services to open files that were closed. We've pushed them to investigate any complaint, even if it was decided the child was a liar. We've given this project a nickname. Opperation: Emma Swan."

Emma couldn't help but smile a little at that. "You're going to help so many kids, Alex!"

"We hope so. We're starting in Manhattan, but hope to expand over New York City, then the state, and then every state. Like I said, you're a hero. Maybe when you're feeling better, you can help us."

"How?"

"By making a video. If it's okay with you and Olivia, I'd love to have a video to show the judges, social workers, anyone who needs proof that this is needed. You could tell what ever part of your story you're comfortable sharing and tell them, in your own words, how important this is for foster kids. Emma, you'd be giving foster kids a voice."

Emma looked at Olivia. "What do you think, mommy?"

Olivia smiled, seeing that Emma was actually excited about this. She never knew just how well Alex was at talking to kids and knew that the woman probably had no idea how much Emma needed to hear her words at that moment. "I think we should think about it. I think we should talk to Dr. Mason and see if she thinks this would help you. I think you need to think about it because it would be you talking and you telling your story and only you know if you can do that or not."

Emma nodded and looked at Alex, sitting up straighter. "Thank you very much, Alex. I will think about it and be in touch."

All three women gave a chuckle at Emma's adorableness and Alex gave an extra smile. "Either way, Emma, I really hope that knowing these people are locked up and can't come after you helps you. I hope it gives you some sort of comfort. You deserve it after everything."

With that Alex stood and said her good bye's to everyone as Emma sat in the bed, looking at her blanket and thinking about what she had just said. She looked at Olivia as she sat down again. "What if she's right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...maybe I didn't have nightmares because I knew Jane was in jail. Maybe...maybe just knowing they're not going to come after me will make it so I don't have nightmares."

Olivia gave a small shrug. "Maybe. If you tell yourself every night that they can't hurt you. But Emma, it's normal for you to have them and it's nothing that anyone is getting mad over."

"I know, but I don't want them. I hate them. They remind me of the bad times."

Olivia ran her fingers through blonde curls. "I know, love. They won't last forever."

There was another knock on the door and Doctor Munson came in with her chart. "Emma. How are you feeling? Is your back still okay with the stitches out?"

Emma nodded. "I feel okay. Nothing really hurts that much right now."

"Good. That doesn't mean you can start running all over and causing trouble." She grinned and Emma smiled. "But, let's take a look."

The doctor looked at Emma's back and arms and smiled. "You're healing really well, Emma. Today is Friday, I am clearing you to go home, but I want you to relax all weekend. By Wednesday, you should feel just like you did before this happened and we'll have a check up, but then you should be back to your normal self."

"I get to go home?"

"Yes. But did you hear the rest?"

Emma nodded, wide eyed. "Rest until Wednesday, come back here, and be normal."

Olivia chuckled along with Dr. Munson. "You are normal, I mean you can do normal kid things after that." She looked at Olivia. "I'm giving you my number with the discharge papers. If there's anything, any bleeding, if she bumps it and it hurts, if she doesn't bump it and ibuprofen doesn't take the pain away, call me. I have no doubt she'll be fine if she listens to me and rests."

"So, if I have to rest, then I don't gotta go to Dr. Mason?"

Olivia grinned. "You don't play rough there. I want you there on Monday, Emma. I know you don't like it, but she helps you, and now, you have even more to talk about. Remember how you just said you don't like nightmares? She helps with that."

"You can go to doctor's appointments. You can even go for walks, but I don't want you playing too rough. I don't want you stretching or bending too much, so no parks, no playing tag. Stick to board games, card games, coloring, anything like that. If you do that, in five days, you'll be able to play again."

"Okay." Emma sighed. It wasn't that she didn't like Dr. Mason, it was just that she hated talking about the past.

"Alright then, Emma, I'll see you on Wednesday. Olivia, Eugenia will have your discharge papers. You're free to go."

The doctor left and Olivia stood. "It's a good thing I brought you some clothes, just in case you got to go home."

As Olivia helped Emma change, Amanda loaded Olivia's car with all of Emma's gifts. Once the room was clear, the IV was taken out, the three of them walked out of the room.

"Well, Emma, you finally get to go home. I'm going to miss you." Eugenia stated as she came out of the nurses station. "I got you a balloon and some candy as a going away gift."

Emma smiled and hugged the woman. "Thank you. And thank you for taking care of me."

Good bye's were said and once outside, Amanda stated that she needed to get home and get some work done. She wanted to give the two time together at home and used work as an excuse.

"I'll see you soon, sunshine." She said as Emma hugged her.

"I love you, Amanda."

Amanda blinked to hide her tears. Happy tears. "I love you too, Fred."

Emma rolled her eyes and took Olivia's hand. Amanda gave Olivia a kiss on the cheek and left the two alone.

"Alright, Emma. Let's get home."

Once home, Olivia made sure Emma was comfortable and read through the discharge papers. "You can still take baths. I bet you need one after a week."

"Yeah. Sponge baths weren't the same."

"We can't use bubbles yet though, and the water may sting a little."

"It's okay. Nothing will hurt as bad as when it happened." The girl stated as she went off to the bathroom to get started on her bath. Olivia frowned and followed her.

"Emma, if you do want to talk about it, you know you can talk to me."

"I know. But I don't wanna talk about it."

"I won't push you, but I'm here if you change your mind." Olivia started the water and Emma carefully got in. It didn't seem to hurt so she relaxed as Olivia washed her hair. The soap from her hair stung just a little on her back, but she pushed through.

"How about Chinese and a movie tonight?"

"Sure. That sounds good."

Emma just wasn't herself, but Olivia didn't expect her to be. She just went through so much and all Olivia could do was be here for her. She ordered and they started watching Frozen. The food came and they stayed on the sofa and ate, finishing the movie. When it was done, Olivia got some ice cream and the two then watched the beginning of The Wizard of Oz.

Emma fell asleep before Dorothy went over the rainbow and Olivia turned the movie off. Carefully, she picked Emma up, locked the door, turned out the lights and went to her room. For tonight, Emma would be in her bed. She laid the girl down and was able to put cream on her back with out waking her. Tears fell from Olivia's eyes as she ran her fingers over the new scar. No matter what anyone said, she felt so guilty and as if it was her fault Emma had this scar.

Olivia took a quick shower and then got in bed next to Emma, who probably because of having to at the hospital, was asleep on her stomach. Well into the night, Olivia woke to Emma thrashing in her sleep. She scooped her up and held her close, not wanting her to hurt herself.

"No! Go away! Please don't hurt me!"

Olivia rubbed her back carefully. "Shh baby. They can't hurt you anymore. I've got you. I've got you, baby girl."

Emma stopped fighting and gasped as she opened her eyes. Right away, they filled with tears as she clung onto Olivia. "It didn't work." Her little voice whispered.

"What didn't work?"

"My stupid brain forgot that they can't hurt me. Why am I so stupid?"

Olivia lifted Emma's chin. "You're not stupid. Your brain is not stupid. Your brain hasn't figured out how to deal with everything yet, Emma, but it's not stupid, you're not stupid."

Emma sniffed and looked away, not having it in her to argue, but also not agreeing with her. "I wanna go back to bed." She stated as she got out of Olivia's lap and back into the bed.

Olivia sighed and covered Emma up, curling up next to her. "I love you, Emma. To the moon and back."

Emma gave a small smile, though her heart wasn't in it. "I love you, Mommy. For ever and ever."

Olivia tried to wait until Emma was asleep, but her eyes were heavy. Emma thought Olivia was sleeping so she quietly got up and went to the mirror on Olivia's dresser.

"Listen to me, brain. Stop being stupid! They are in jail and can't hurt us anymore. Remember that! I don't want no more nightmares, brain, I don't care if you don't get it."

If it wasn't so sad, Olivia would have laughed as she opened her eyes and watched Emma. It was cute, but it was so, so sad that she thought she had a stupid brain. She closed her eyes as Emma came padding back to the bed and cuddled up with Olivia. The girl took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and went back to sleep.

Whether it was the pep talk with her brain, or the fact that she was so tired, Emma didn't have more nightmares and woke up much happier the next morning. She took a deep breath and smiled. "Bacon." Emma got up and went to the bathroom before padding out to the kitchen. "I smell bacon!"

Olivia grinned and looked at her. "Do you? Maybe that's because I'm making some. Bacon, scrambled eggs with cheese, toast, and I even cut up some melons."

"Mama! My stomach is growling now!"

"It is? What's it saying?"

Emma grinned and put her hands on her stomach. She lowered her voice to a growl. "Feed me, Emma. Feed me now!"

Olivia laughed as Emma giggled and she put the plates on the table. "I'm feeding you now."

Emma took a few bits and grinned. "Now it's saying. Thank you for feeding me, Mommy."

Olivia rubbed Emma's stomach. "You're welcome. Now keep eating."

Once they were done, Olivia called Tracy while Emma got dressed. When the girl came out, Olivia smiled. "Ruby and Neal are going to come over and play a game with you. August has a cold and can't come, but Neal wants to teach you and Ruby how to play Sorry."

Emma smiled. "Okay! That sounds fun and the doctor said I can play board games."

"That's right, he sure did."

The day was full with the kids playing various games, eating lunch, coloring, and watching a movie. By the end of the day, Neal went home but the girls had talked their moms into letting Ruby spend the night.


	15. Chapter 15

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Chapter 15

Emma had never had a sleep over before and she was so excited. Olivia called Amanda over and told her what was going on. Amanda brought pizza, ice cream, and all the essentials for a sleep over make over.

After they ate, Amanda painted Ruby's nails as Olivia painted Emma's. They did their hair and make up and then the girls did the same to Amanda and Olivia. "If the boys at work hear about this, I'm breaking up with you." Amanda said to Olivia with a grin.

"Breaking up with me? Does that mean we're official?"

"Duh. We were official the day we went to the indoor go karts."

Olivia grinned. "Perfect."

As the girls put in a movie and started on their ice cream, Olivia and Amanda went to the kitchen. "How's the baby doing? I've been so focused on Emma, I haven't had a chance to ask?"

Amanda smiled lightly. "He or she is doing fine. I had an appointment on Friday when you were with Emma, and things are progressing fine."

"You're not showing yet."

"That's cuz I have baggy clothes." Amanda stood and pulled her shirt tight around her and sure enough, there was a baby bump.

Olivia ran her hand on Amanda's stomach with a smile. "Wow. You should show that off."

"Yeah, because it's so sexy." Amanda rolled her eyes and sat back down.

"No, but it's beautiful. You're beautiful." Olivia smiled at Amanda's blush. "Look, I'll be honest. I'm new at all this...dating women, hell, dating at all. However, I'd like to invite you to spend the night...if you want to."

Amanda couldn't stop her smile. "I was hoping you'd say that. I even packed. We don't have to do anything, Olivia. I'm not pushing for anything. I just love being with you and Emma."

"We love being with you, Amanda. What ever happens, will happen."

The women then moved to the living room, cuddling together on the couch as the girls were laying on sleeping bags on the floor. Once the movie ended, Olivia got up and made sure the door was locked. She noticed that Emma seemed a bit down and she motioned for her to come over. "What's wrong?"

Emma looked at Ruby who was talking to Amanda, and then back at Olivia. "What if I have a nightmare and Ruby hates me or thinks I'm stupid?"

Olivia sighed and pulled Emma to her lap. "She won't. She's your friend, Emma."

"I won't what?" Ruby asked, figuring they were talking about her.

Emma kept her eyes down. "Sometimes I have nightmares. I don't want you to hate me or think I'm stupid if I have one tonight."

Ruby went to Emma and took her hand. "Sometimes, I have nightmares too. I could never hate you, and you're not stupid for having nightmares."

"You have them too? But you've never been hurt."

Ruby shrugged. "I don't think that matters. I have nightmares about monsters and scary things. But my mommy keeps telling me that it's not real. Do your nightmares happen because of you being hurt?"

Emma nodded. "It's always about when I was hurt. It was real once."

"But not anymore, right?"

"I guess not."

"Emma, it's okay if you have a nightmare. I won't hate you, I promise. I won't think you're silly or stupid. And you won't think it if I have one."

"You're right. Okay. I feel better now."

Olivia smiled and pulled Ruby for a hug as well. "Good. Now go brush your teeth, please."

The two went off to brush their teeth and Amanda helped clean up the living room. "Ruby is really a great friend for Emma to have."

"She is. I think she helps Emma more than I do."

"Liv. You help Emma more than you think you do. I promise you that you do."

Olivia brought the girls's sleeping bags into Emma's room as Amanda took her bag to Olivia's. They both tucked the girls in, telling them stories, kissing and hugging them, and telling them to sleep tight. They then went to Olivia's room and it wasn't long before they knew the girls were sleeping.

Amanda took her bag into the bathroom and changed as Olivia changed in her room. Both women were feeling a little nervous, but content at the same time. When Amanda came out, Olivia was laying in bed, so Amanda joined her.

"Amanda? Do you really think I help Emma?"

Amanda looked at Olivia and saw the fear and insecurities there. She had never seen that on Olivia and she knew the woman put her walls down for her. "Yes, Olivia. That girl came to us scared, barely able to talk with out having an anxiety attack, scared, and so sad. You've turn her around in such a short time. She loves and trusts you and that's huge, Liv. No one had ever let that girl love and trust them, but you did and she needed that so much. Why do you doubt yourself?"

Olivia had it, she finally had it and broke down. Tears fell as she let herself break, completely trusting Amanda. "Because I promised she wouldn't get hurt, and I let her get hurt." She whispered.

"Oh Liv." Amanda sighed and pulled the woman close to her. She ran her hands through Olivia's fingers and Olivia buried her face into Amanda's chest. Once Olivia was breathing normal again and resting her head closer to Amanda's stomach, Amanda continued. "You have to stop blaming yourself for that, Olivia. Jane would have come after Emma no matter what. You didn't /let/ her get hurt, Olivia, you simply let her be a kid and have fun and Jane took advantage of that." Amanda stroked Olivia's cheek. "You didn't give up, Liv. You fought for her, you looked for her, you did what needed to be done to find her. Honestly, you have to stop blaming yourself."

Olivia sighed, this was not how she wanted to spend this night, but she obviously needed it. "Thank you, Amanda. I needed to hear that. More than I thought I did." Olivia ran her hands on Amanda's stomach and took a breath before moving to lay next to Amanda instead of ontop of her.

"Feel any better?" Amanda asked, feeling like maybe she said something wrong.

"Yes. Thank you. Thank you for letting me let that out."

"Any time, Olivia." Amanda leaned forward and softly kissed Olivia.

To some, it may seem like Olivia and Amanda were moving fast, but to them, it was just right. They already knew each other, they were already friends, they were just taking that next step in their relationship. The two didn't do more than heavy kissing before the curled up together and fell asleep, and they were both okay with that.

"Why are they sleeping together like that?" Came a little voice the next morning.

"Because they love each other." Emma answered with a shrug.

"But..but they're women. I thought women were supposed to sleep with men."

"Well, some women love men, some women love women and some men love men." Emma answered simply.

"Oh. Okay." Ruby answered.

"You don't hate her now, do you?"

"Who? Olivia?"

Emma nodded.

"No. Why would I hate her?"

Emma shrugged. "I just know that some people hate when women love women or men love men."

"Not me. Emma, I don't hate anyone."

"Good." Emma smiled, but Ruby seemed a bit down as they went back to Emma's room.

"Emma? Why do you think I'm gonna hate everyone? First you think I'm gonna hate you and then you think I'm gonna hate Olivia. I'm your friend."

Emma looked at Ruby and saw she looked sort of hurt. "I'm sorry, Ruby. I just...I never haded a friend before and I'm scared you're gonna be like the others."

"The others?"

Emma nodded. "They said they loved me, but then they hated me and I don't know why. I'm scared you're going to hate me too."

Ruby didn't really understand everything, but she could tell Emma really was scared. She took Emma's hand. "I won't ever hate you, Emma. I promise. We'll be best friends forever! Even if we make each other mad, I won't ever hate you."

Emma smiled and hugged Ruby. "I won't ever hate you, either. We'll go to school together and always be friends."

The two laid back down and started talking about everything they'd do together as they grew up.

Amanda slowly opened her eyes and smiled as she watched Olivia also slowly wake up. "Morning."

Olivia smiled and stretched. "Mmm. Morning." She went to kiss Amanda, but the blonde quickly sat up and held her stomach.

"I'll be right back." She rushed into the bathroom and closed the door. Olivia was confused until she heard Amanda emptying her stomach and she sighed.

"Morning sickness?"

"Yeah." Amanda called. "It just started a few days ago."

"Let me in." Olivia came into the bathroom and sat by Amanda, rubbing her back. Amanda didn't want Olivia to see her, but she couldn't help it as she got sick again. "It's okay. I'm here." Olivia soothed as she pulled Amanda's hair back. "You shouldn't go through this alone."

"Thank you." Amanda quietly let out and once she felt she wasn't going to be sick again, she flushed the toilet and looked at Olivia.

"I'd kiss you but..."

Amanda chuckled and let Olivia help her up. She then brushed her teeth and Olivia did the same. The two then kissed and Olivia caressed Amanda's stomach. "Better?'

"Better."

"I'm going to call Nick and see if he will come watch Emma for a bit tonight. I want to take you out."

"Olivia, you don't have to do that. Emma needs you."

"Emma will be fine for a few hours. She likes Nick."

"Is Nick coming over?" Emma asked as she and Ruby came into the room. They had heard the two talking.

"Would you be okay with that? If he came over tonight and I took Amanda out on a date?"

Emma grinned. "Sure. But you're gonna come home, right?"

"Yes, of course. We'll go early so we can be home before you go to bed."

"Okay, mommy." Emma smirked and held her stomach, growling. "Feed me."

Olivia chuckled and picked Emma up, tickling her. "Your stomach sure likes food."

Breakfast was made, served, and eaten and then Ruby went home, saying next time, Emma could stay at her house. Amanda said she had to get some work done and Olivia suggested she pack another bag for the night. Olivia then called Nick, who was completely fine with watching Emma, and the two then spend the afternoon coloring together. Emma took a nap while Olivia went into her spare room. She had a four bedroom apartment and while one extra room was used as an office, the other was pretty much empty. Olivia only had the apartment because it was a steal and never thought she'd fill the rooms, but as she thought of Amanda, she wondered if it was too soon to ask her to move in with them.

She went to Emma's room as the girl woke up and sat on her bed. "Emma? How would you feel if I asked Amanda to move in with us?"

Emma smiled softly. "I'd like that, Mommy. Her and the baby can live with us and we can be a family."

Olivia smiled. "You sure you don't mind? I want you to be honest."

"I'm sure. But...can we still have some times when it's just me and you?"

"Of course, Emma. I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

"Okay. Then it's okay."

Olivia smiled. "Don't say anything to her, I don't know if she's ready for that. I just don't like her being alone while she's growing that baby."

"Did the baby make her sick?"

"Yes, baby girl. When babies are growing, they can make their mommies sick. But it doesn't last forever."

"I hope she has a boy." Emma stated, surprising Olivia.

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Cuz I wanna be your only baby girl." Emma said, sounding much like the five year old she was.

Olivia smiled and pulled Emma into her lap, carefully. "You'll always be my baby girl, Emma. No matter what. You are my daughter and you will always, always be my baby girl."

Emma sighed and looked down. "I'm not your daughter yet, Mommy. Not until I get adopted."

Olivia lifted her chin. "Adoption is just a piece of paper. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that you are mine."

Emma smiled and hugged Olivia. "I don't need one either...but I'd like it."

"Soon, my love. Soon."

Emma went with Olivia and helped her pick out something to wear and then watched as Olivia sat and did her hair and make up.

"You're so pretty, mommy."

"Thank you, baby. So are you."

"Will I be pretty when I grow up?"

"No." Olivia grinned. "You'll be beautiful. You already are."

Emma beamed and giggled as Olivia swiped her make up brush on Emma's nose.

"Now, you'll be good for Nick, right?"

"Yes, mommy."

There was a knock on the door and both Emma and Olivia answered.

"Nick!" Emma let out and hugged him. She took his hand and pulled him in. "I can't play rough, but I can play games so I got out all my favorites and I'm gonna beat you in all of them!"

Nick just laughed and followed her to the table where her games were waiting. "I don't know. I'm pretty good at Uno."

"I'm the Uno master!" Emma giggled. "Oh and Mommy made noodles so all you hafta do is warm them up. She said you shouldn't mess that up."

Nick raised his brows and looked at Olivia. "Don't trust my culinary skills?"

"Nope." She grinned as she made sure she had her keys and phone in her purse. "You have my number. If you need anything, call me. No matter what. I should be back before Emma needs to get ready for bed, but if her back gets sore, she has cream that will make her feel better. Just rub it gently over the scar."

"I can do that. Go have fun, I got this covered."

"Okay. Thank you. Good bye, Fred. I love you."

Emma rolled her eyes, smiling. "I love you, Mommy. For ever and ever."

"To the moon and back" Olivia answered and kissed her daughter before heading out.

Emma and Nick played all of Emma's games at least once, and most of the time, Emma did win. Nick warmed up the noodles and the two talked, laughed, and ate together. Nick was happy that Emma wasn't scared of him as she first was when she first came. Although, it made him miss his daughter even more.

After they ate, they went to watch a movie, and Nick noticed Emma seemed uncomfortable. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Emma sighed. "My scar just itches and I can't scratch it."

"Does the cream help for that?" Nick asked as he grabbed the tube and started reading it.

"Yes. It makes it feel cool and the itching stops."

"Then how about I put some on your back?"

"Sure." Emma got up and went over to Nick, but when he went to lift her shirt, she froze.

"Emma? I can't put this on over your shirt."

Emma stood, her mind back to another time. "Don't touch me!"

Nick noticed Emma's eyes were gone and he put the tube down and took her hands, even if she tried to pull them away. "Emma. Honey, it's just me. It's your friend Nick. I'm not going to hurt you."

Emma looked at him and as her eyes refocused, they also filled with tears. "I'm sorry..."

Nick shook his head and pulled her into a hug. "Don't be sorry, Emma. It's okay."

Emma chewed on her lip as she rest her head on his chest. "When ever a man as touched me, he did it in a bad way and hurt me." She admitted quietly.

Nick pulled back and looked at her. "I know, Emma. I know it's hard to trust anyone after what you've gone through. But I promise you, I'll never touch you in a bad way and I'll never hurt you. Not all men are bad, sweetie, most men are good."

Emma nodded and turned around, lifting the back of her shirt for Nick. As he was rubbing the cream in, Emma looked back at him. "Why can't all men be good? And why can't all women be like Olivia and Amanda? Why are there bad people?"

Nick finished and put Emma's shirt down, putting his arm around her. "I don't have answers for those questions, Emma. I wish there was an easy answer, an easy fix, but there's not."

"Do you hate me now?"

"Not at all. Never."

"Good. Cuz I like you, uncle Nick."

"I like you too, Emma."

Emma snuggled in with Nick and the two watched TV until Olivia and Amanda came home. Emma went to get her pajamas on and Nick told Olivia what happened. "I wasn't thinking. Of course it would bring up memories. I'm sorry, Liv."

"Don't be. Honestly, Nick, maybe it's a good thing. It showed her that she can trust you, that not all men are bad."

"I hope so. I hope I didn't make things worse."

Olivia shook her head. "I know you didn't. You didn't do anything wrong, Nick. Thank you for watching her."

Nick grabbed his coat. "No problem. Any time. And I mean any time."

Once he left, Amanda locked up and said goodnight to Emma. Olivia went and tucked Emma into bed and then came back out, finding Amanda on the sofa. She sat by her and took her hand, lacing their fingers.

"I had a great time, Liv. Thank you."

"I did too. Next time, it's your turn to plan a date." She smiled softly.

"Will do."

"Amanda? I want to ask you something, but please don't feel obligated."

"Okay..."

"I was thinking about you being alone and I didn't like it. I have an office and an extra room and was wondering how you would feel about moving in? We can turn the room into a nursery for the baby."

Amanda was taken back and didn't know what to say at first.

"You don't have to say yes." Olivia said, seeing Amanda's fear.

"It's not that I don't want to, but can I think about it. It's a big step for both of us and for Emma."

"Of course you can. But please know, I talked to Emma and she said she'd like it if you did. As much help, attention and love that Emma needs, she also need to know the world doesn't revolve around her. I'm not meaning to sound harsh, but the more she thinks it does, the harder it will be when reality hits."

"How about I stay here tonight, because I'm exhausted anyway," she laughed, "and I'll think about the moving in part."

"That's completely fine, Amanda. I don't need an answer tonight, tomorrow or even next week. Just know the offer is out there and open."

Olivia pulled Amanda up and the two went to get ready for bed. Again, the spent the night cuddling and finally fell asleep. Not much longer, Amanda woke to a scream from Emma and rushed out of bed to the girls room.

"No! Stop it! Please stop! It hurts!"

Amanda rushed to the girl and pulled her into her lap, even as the girl was fighting her in her sleep. "It's okay, Emma. Shhh sweetie, I've got you. Amanda has you, you're safe."

Olivia watched from the doorway as Emma stopped fighting and started crying in Amanda's arms. "I'm sorry, Amanda." Emma let out and Amanda carefully rubbed her back.

"It's okay, Emma. You don't have to say you're sorry." Amanda looked up at Olivia and wondered how the woman handled this all the time. She kissed Emma's temple. "Want to come in bed with me and Mommy?"

Emma nodded and Olivia came and picked her up, not wanting a pregnant Amanda to carry her. "It's just mommy, honey. I've got you." For Emma had gone stiff when Olivia touched her. The girl relaxed and let Olivia carry her into her room. The three settled into bed, Emma in the middle, and eventually fell back to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

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Chapter 16

Monday came and Amanda went home to work as Olivia got Emma ready for her appointment. Emma was a bit slow, but Olivia expected that. She knew the girl liked Dr. Mason, but she also knew that these sessions could take a lot out of her. Olivia zipped up Emma's coat and tapped her nose. "Ready?"

Emma just nodded as she went to the door.

"Emma? You know, if you want, Dr. Mason said I can come in with you, if it makes you feel better."

Emma sighed. "I gotta be strong."

"You are strong, and if you want me there, you're still strong, Emma." Olivia knelt down. "Besides, you don't have to be strong. Not after all you've gone through. It's okay to break down, to cry, to get angry. No one said you have to be strong."

Emma looked up at Olivia. "I think maybe I want you with then."

Olivia kissed Emma's cheek and stood. "What ever you want, love."

The two made their way down to the doctors office and checked in. Emma kicked her feet as she waited on the chair and then Dr. Mason came out. "Hello, Emma. I've been so looking forward to seeing you. I missed you while you were gone and I'm glad you're out of the hospital."

Emma stood, but kept her hand in Olivia's. "Can Mommy come with me?"

Nora nodded with a smile. "Of course she can. Come on back." She lead them to her office and looked at Emma. "Would you like to color or paint?"

Emma shook her head. "Not today."

"Okay, then how about we take seats. You can sit where ever you want."

Emma sat on the couch so Olivia could sit next to her. Olivia knew this would be hard, so she pulled out Emma's blanket to give her comfort. The girl clung to it, but resisted the urge to suck her thumb. Right away, Nora could sense the set back, but she knew it would happen after what Emma just went through.

"Is there anything you want to talk about, Emma? This is your session, so it's all up to you." Nora sat in a chair across from them.

Emma shrugged at first and then sighed. "You heard what happened?"

"I heard from Olivia, but I'd like to hear it from you, if you're up to it."

Emma kept her eyes down on her blanket and chewed her lip for a while. Then she started. She told Nora about the park and the zoo and the water fountain. Then, with tears in her eyes, she told her about being snatched by Jane and what happened after that.

"That must have been really scary."

Emma nodded and wiped her eyes. Olivia was softly rubbing her back.

"Did you feel anything else, Emma? Either when it was happening or after?"

Emma thought for a bit and nodded. "I felt angry. I was scared, angry, and I had no control over anything."

Nora nodded. "I can understand all those feelings."

"I also..." Emma started, but looked at Olivia and stopped.

"You can say anything, Emma, I won't get upset. If you want me to leave, I'll wait outside." Olivia figured it had to do with her, and she couldn't blame Emma.

"It's okay." Emma said and took a breath. "I also felt disappointed."

"Disappointed? How so?"

Again, Emma kept her eyes down. "Olivia said she'd always protect me, that no one would ever hurt me again. But Jane hurt me again." Emma sniffed. "I don't want to be mad or anything with Olivia, I know she loves me and cares about me and did everything she could, but I felt it."

Olivia's heart broke right there. She tried blinking her tears back, but some escaped. Nora moved closer and took Emma's hands.

"I'm sure Olivia would agree with me when I say that you have every right to feel that way. We all feel disappointed when someone promises something, but it doesn't work out. However, what I want you to remember is Olivia did all she could, Emma. Not only that, but you're here with her now, so you must still trust her."

Emma nodded. "I do trust her and I know it's not her fault." Emma let out a sigh and sat back. "I'm just tired of people hurting me." Tears were falling freely from her little eyes. "I used to think that all kids got hurt, that all parents did things to hurt their kids. But my friend Ruby doesn't get hurt like this. It's not normal. So why does it always happen to me?"

Nora sat back in her chair. "I don't have an answer for that, Emma. What I do know is that you are not to blame for any of it. I know that you're a great kid who hasn't gotten a fair chance until now. You're smart and strong and kind, Emma."

Emma shook her head. "No I'm not. I'm kind, sometimes strong, but I'm not smart."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because! Because I know that they're locked up, but I still have nightmares! It's stupid! I'm stupid!" Emma yelled out and started hitting her head. "I don't wanna be stupid! I wanna be normal!"

Olivia couldn't just sit there, she reached out and held Emma's arm down so she couldn't hit herself, but Emma just pushed her away and stood. She let out a scream and started kicking what ever was in sight. Nora motioned for Olivia to stay seated as she let Emma let out her frustration, even if it broke Olivia's heart more.

"You're so stupid, Emma! You're trash, Emma! Your own parents threw you away! No one loves you! No one wants you! No one ever will! You don't deserve to breathe my air! You're a waste of space!" The girl screamed as she kicked and threw things. "Keep your mouth shut! Don't look at me like that! Stop crying! Stop screaming! Be a good girl! It won't hurt if you stop fighting me! Daddy needs you to be a good girl!" Emma stopped and sat on the floor, her hands over her ears as she rocked back and forth, screaming.

Nora went over to Emma and sat across from her, waiting for her to calm down, not pushing her. Emma looked up at her, tear streaks down her face, her eyes full of anger and hurt. "Make the voices stop! Please make them stop!" Emma cried out before letting out a gut-wrenching sob.

Normally, Nora would have pulled Emma into her lap, but she motioned for Olivia to come over. Olivia wiped her face, her tears had been flowing watching Emma go through this. She sat down and wrapped herself around Emma, pulling her into her lap. She rocked with her, letting her cry, rubbing her back and kissing her head.

"You are not stupid. You are not a waste of space, my love. You are loved, wanted, you deserve everything." Olivia let out, trying not to let her voice crack.

"Let it out, Emma. Cry, yell, scream, you have to let it out. But listen to your mom. She's telling you the truth."

Emma kept crying for some time, not able to stop. After a while, she looked up at Olivia. "Why do you love me? Why are you different?"

Olivia ran her fingers through Emma's hair, collecting herself. "Because you are worth it. You're special. You're amazing. I love you so much, Emma just as much as if you were really mine. You are an amazing little girl who deserves to be loved and cared for." Olivia meant everything she said, and could only hope she was saying the right things.

Emma sniffed and shook her head. "But I'm so messed up. You should have a normal girl who doesn't have nightmares, or who gets so angry. Jane said I was broken. You should have a girl who isn't broken."

Olivia sighed as she kissed Emma's temple. "I want you. All of you. I want to help you, Emma. I want to give you the life you deserve. If you really think you're broken, I want to fix you. I love you just the way you are, but I want to help you be happy. I want to help you not think so badly of yourself."

"But why? Why do you want to deal with me?"

Olivia sighed, not exactly sure how to answer that. "Because...I love you."

Nora nodded, letting Olivia know she was doing a good job. "Emma, honey, you are normal. You've gone through a lot and are dealing with that, but you're normal."

"No I'm not! Normal girls don't have nightmares all the time! Normal girls don't wet the bed at my age! Normal girls don't get so angry!"

Nora moved and put her hand on Emma's arm. "They do when they've been so badly hurt, Emma. What those people did to you was more than just physical. They made you think things that aren't nice or true. When that happens to a child, that child, or even adult, has a lot of things in their head that makes them have nightmares, makes them angry. What I'd like to do is work with you on ways to let that anger out. Emma you've held all this in for so long, you've been treated this way for so long that you don't know how to deal with it. That's normal. I want to help you with that."

"Why didn't you stop me when I was kicking things?"

"Because you had to let it out. Let me ask you something. Does any part of you feel better?"

Emma chewed her lip and gave a small nod. "Yes. But I'm sorry."

"No saying sorry. I'm glad you feel better. Now, let's clean up and work on some breathing techniques, okay?"

Emma took some deep breaths and nodded. She got out of Olivia's lap, went to blow her nose and then started cleaning up. Olivia and Nora both helped her and when they were done, they sat back down.

Nora talked to Emma about cues she could recognize, feelings she'd have before she'd start to get so angry. They worked on some deep breathing techniques to not only help with that, but also to help after a nightmare.

"Emma, when you start to feel yourself getting angry, what is something you think you can do to channel that? I don't want you to hold it in, but I think we can find a healthier way to let it out. The best would be talking to Olivia, but I know that's not always easy to do. Do you usually have crayons in your room?"

Emma nodded. "I can try that. Maybe when I learn how to write, I can write down all my feelings."

"That's a great idea, but maybe until then, Olivia can make sure there's paper and crayons around and you can draw out your feelings?"

Olivia nodded. "I can do that. Emma, I'm always here for you to talk to or to cry to. Even if I can't fix it, I am here to listen to you and comfort you."

Emma gave a little smile. "I know. It's just hard sometimes."

Nora also smiled. "It is, but it'll get easier. I feel like we made a good break through today. It was tough, I know, but I'm hoping you do feel better."

Emma gave a nod. "I do."

"Great. Then I'll see you next Monday, but in the mean time, remember the breathing."

"Yes, Doctor. I'm sorry for messing up your room."

Nora shook her head. "Don't be. It's okay. Emma, do you mind if I talk to Olivia for just a little bit? You can stay here, I'll take her in my adult office."

"Okay. That's okay."

Olivia and Nora went into the smaller office and as soon as the door closed, Olivia broke. She was crying and trying to stop it. Nora rubbed her back and let her cry. "It's hard, Olivia, but you're doing such a good job."

Olivia blew her nose and tried to stop crying. "It breaks my heart. I feel like...I'm so scared of failing her. She's been through so much and I can't just fix it."

Nora nodded as she sat down. "You are though. Honestly, Olivia, just being there is so much for her. She's never had that, never had someone who was there for her in a positive way. I didn't step in earlier because you were saying and doing all the right things. It's hard, no one said it would be easy, but Liv, you're doing amazing."

"Thank you. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that."

"You're adopting Emma, right?"

"Yes. We've begun the process."

"Good. That will help her too. She'll see that you're not giving her up, and to someone like her, she needs that."

"I've tried telling her that I'm not giving her up, that I'd never send her away, but I don't think she believes me."

"She wont. Why should she? No one has ever kept their word to her. To you, the paper saying she's adopted is just paper. But to her, it's confirming that you're not letting her go, that she's worth it. I will say that with all she said today, I was so glad she didn't say she wished she wasn't born, or that she wished they'd just killed her. The fact that she didn't say that again means that she no longer feels that way and Olivia, that's huge, and that's because of you."

"I was so scared she'd say those things again." Olivia looked at Nora. "I love Emma, no matter what, but do you think she will ever be okay?"

Nora thought for a moment. "I do. I've seen kids who have been through so much and honestly, it all depends on their support systems. Emma has the best chance that I've seen in a long time, Olivia. She trusts you and that's huge. It will take time, obviously, and there will be set backs, but I do think she'll be okay. You both will."

Olivia nodded, chewing her lip. She then told Nora about Amanda and their relationship and the baby and how she asked Amanda to move in. "Do you think I should wait?"

Nora shook her head. "I think Emma is ready for that. As long as you are there for her when she needs you, or even Amanda, it'll be okay. It is important that she's not too sheltered, that she has what she calls a normal life. Honestly, I think it would be a good thing for her to have that big sister type role, the only thing that scares me, is what would happen if you and Amanda don't work out. Will Emma feel rejected?"

"I've thought of that. To be honest, I think that if Amanda and I don't work out, Amanda will still want to be there for Emma and I'd allow it. They're close too, I wouldn't keep them from each other."

Nora nodded with a smile. "That's great. Hopefully nothing you'll have to worry about though. To be honest, I'm glad to hear about that because it means you're also thinking of yourself. Many times, in these situations, the parent is too focused on the child to take care of themselves, and that's not a good thing. Olivia, you're honestly doing wonderful."

Olivia let out a breath, feeling ten times better than before. "Thank you. And thank you for talking with me."

"There was no way I was letting you go with out having a talk after that. You feeling better?"

"Yes. Much."

"Great. One other thing. I'd like you to still go back to work. Keep up the pace you had before Jane got Emma. I know it'll be hard, but we have to show Emma that life goes on."

Olivia nodded. "You're right. I will do what I planned on and go half days for a few weeks and then all day. She'll start school in the fall, but until then, my neighbor will watch her. She has her own children and Ruby is her age."

"Perfect. That sounds great. For both of you." Nora smiled and stood and she and Olivia walked back out to Emma.

Emma and Olivia then went home. Olivia had thought about taking her out for lunch, but truth be told, she was exhausted and figured Emma was too. The ride home was quiet, as was the walk to the apartment. "How about some left over pizza?"

"I'm not really hungry. Can I go lay down?"

Normally Olivia would want Emma to eat, but she knew that the girl had to be emotionally exhausted. "Of course. Wanna cuddle with me?"

Emma smiled and nodded. "On the couch?"

"Sure. Want to go get my big blanket?"

Emma nodded and went off to get the blanket. Olivia got her phone out and sent a text to Amanda. ~Rough session today. We're both emotionally exhausted. If you come over, would you mind bringing something for supper?~

As Olivia snuggled in with Emma on the sofa, her phone chirped with Amanda's reply. ~Yes. I'll bring pasta. Hope you're both okay. Love you both.~

Olivia smiled and Emma asked her why she was smiling. "Amanda is coming tonight and will bring pasta. She also says she loves us both."

Emma grinned and took Olivia's phone. She had studied it and she pulled up the Snap Chat app that Amanda showed her. Making both her and Olivia have rabbit faces, she held down the circle to make a video. "We love you, Amanda! Bring chocolate too!"

"How did you learn that?"

"Amanda showed me." Emma said as she sent the video. Soon, Olivia's phone signaled that Amanda had replied. She pulled up the video and they both laughed as Amanda's face was made to look like she had a huge nose.

"See you later, Fred. Kisses to you both. Now take a nap!"

Olivia put her phone down and snuggled with Emma. She was going to turn on a movie, but decided not to. She ran her fingers through Emma's hair as she hummed to her and soon, they were both asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

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Chapter 17

The next few weeks, Olivia, Emma and Amanda fell into a routine. Olivia would take Emma to Tracy's in the morning, go to work, pick her up in the early afternoon and spend time with her before Amanda would come home and they'd have supper together and watch movies or play games. Amanda spent most nights with them and they really were a happy little family. On Monday's Emma had her sessions and Olivia would go into work on the afternoons, if the session wasn't too emotional for Emma.

Carol, the social worker, had come a few times to observe and talk with both Olivia and Emma. The adoption process was on track and, they were counting down the days.

"Mommy?" Emma asked one afternoon as she was coloring and Olivia was cooking.

"Yes, sweet pea?"

"When you adopt me, that means you can't give me back, right?"

Olivia looked over at Emma. "I'm not giving you back no matter what."

"But I mean like..even if I'm really, really bad, you can't give me back?"

Olivia turned the stove off and went to sit by Emma. She wouldn't start lying to her now.

"Emma, the truth is, some kids who are adopted are given back. Some kids who are with their birth parents are given away." She put her hand on Emma's. "But I don't think that's right. I think that once you have a child, they're yours and you take care of them. Emma, I promise you that I am never, ever giving you back. You're stuck with me, kiddo."

Emma gave a smile. "Good. But Olivia, what if I um..." She looked around. "What if I spill all the milk, eat all the food, break all the dishes, and lie about it?"

Olivia tried to hide her chuckle. She knew this was important to Emma. "If you did all that, I'd help you clean up everything and take care of your stomach ache. I'd probably ground you, but I wouldn't even think of giving you back. Emma, even if, when you're older, you decide to smoke or drink alcohol or skip school, I'll be upset, but I won't give you back. We'll work through everything together."

Emma gave another smile. "And I won't give you back either."

Olivia grinned. "Good." She tapped Emma's nose and went back to cooking.

"Mommy?"

Olivia smiled, she'd never get sick of hearing that word. "Yes, Emma?"

"Is Amanda gonna move in? She sleeps here all the time anyway."

Olivia chuckled. "She's thinking about that. It's a big decision and I'm giving her time to think about it."

"I think she should. Especially when the baby comes. I can't wait to hold it and kiss it and love it."

Olivia finished up what she was cooking and took this as an opportunity. She came and sat down again by Emma. "Honey, I want to talk to you about that. Right now, you are the center of both me and Amanda's world. When the baby comes, it will need attention. It may seem like you're not getting the attention you're used to. Of course, you'll always be my first baby girl, but the baby will need Amanda, and sometimes me, to feed it, change it, comfort it."

Emma looked at Olivia. "I know that. Me and Dr. Mason have talked about it."

"You have?"

Emma nodded. "Yep. As long as I still get tucked in at night and hugs and kisses when you come home, I'll be happy."

Olivia smiled and stroked Emma's cheek. "You'll get more than that, honey. I just want you...no I need you to know that if you're ever feeling left out, or if you ever need just me or just Amanda to talk to, don't be scared to tell us. We will always be here for you."

Emma decided to lean over and hug Olivia. "I know that, Mommy. Thank you."

Olivia looked at her watch and then her phone. "Amanda's running late."

"Maybe she fell asleep. She does that sometimes."

"Maybe." Olivia sent a quick text and then looked back at Emma. "Next week, I start working more, honey."

"I know. You tolded me."

"I know I did, but I just want to make sure you understand. There will be times that I'm called in, in the middle of the night. If Amanda isn't here, I may have to wake you to take you over to Tracy's."

"It's okay. You gotta work." She said with a grin. "I know you're kinda like a cop, right?"

"Yes. I help get the bad guys."

"Right. So, you can be in danger sometimes, right?"

Olivia knew this was a subject Emma recently had been bringing up, both with her and with Dr. Mason. "Yes. I won't lie. Sometimes I may be in danger. But now that I'm sergeant, I don't do as much dangerous things as Nic and the others do."

"But if you do, you'll be careful, right?"

"I'll be very careful. I can't promise that nothing will happen, but I can promise I'll be very, very careful."

"Okay, Mommy. Oh but Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"What if something does happen? Will I hafta go back to foster care?"

"No. When I adopt you, I can decide who I want you to go to if something happens to me."

"Oh. Who?"

"Amanda. Her and I talked about it and I'm going to be your mother, but she's going to be your legal guardian if something happens to me."

"Really? She wants me, too?"

"Yes, love. She was very happy when I asked her. Not that she wants something to happen to me, but that you'd stay in her life if something did."

"I feel the same. I don't want nothin to happen to you.."

"You don't want anything." Olivia corrected.

"I don't want anything to happen to you, but I am glad I don't need to go back to foster care. I never wanna go back to foster care again!"

"You won't. I promise. Now, let's clean this up and get the table set. It's Friday, so you can stay up later tonight."

Emma got up and started cleaning up her crayons and picture. "It's you, me and Amanda at a park." Emma said as Olivia took the picture and added it to the collage on the fridge.

"I love it. Speaking of parks, we were thinking of going to the park tomorrow to feed the ducks. What do you think?"

Emma put her crayons away. "As long as I can stay right next to you, that's okay."

Ever since the encounter with Jane, Emma didn't like to leave Olivia's side when they'd go places. Olivia understood, and never pushed it. Though she would remind her that she was safe.

"That's fine, Emma, but you know, no one can hurt you now."

"No one I know. A stranger could still take me."

Emma had Olivia there. "I won't argue. What ever makes you feel safe is all I care about."

The door opened and Emma grinned as Amanda came in. "Manda!" She ran over and gave her a big hug.

"Hey Fred! How was your day?"

"Great! Why are you late?"

Olivia chuckled as she kissed Amanda's cheek. Amanda turned her head and kissed Olivia's lips, causing Emma to close her eyes.

"I'm late because I was busy packing."

"Packing?" Olivia asked, surprised.

"Yep." Amanda grinned. "I've decided to take you up on your offer and move in. I hope that's still okay."

"Yes! It's totally okay!" Emma shouted out, causing both women to laugh.

"She's right. It's totally okay." Olivia looked out in the hall. "Amanda! You should not have brought all this up by yourself. I would have helped you."

"Oh it's fine. Joe helped out and I hired Nic to help on Sunday with the rest. Not that I'm bringing much here, but I need to get everything out of my apartment."

"I have an empty storage space in the basement here, if you want to save it."

"Oh that's perfect. I didn't want to get rid of my bed or table set since they came from my grandmother."

"You don't have to. We'll work it all out. I was hoping you'd decide, so I cleaned out the spare room and office. It's all ready for the baby and your work."

"Great. I brought the files right away and some clothes."

"Well you get in here and sit down. Emma can help me bring things in."

They did just that. After everything was brought in and taken either to the office or the bedroom, the three sat down and had dinner.

"After the park tomorrow, I was thinking maybe you two could help me pick out a crib and stuff for the baby? I know a great second hand store that has amazing things for a price I can afford."

"I'll pick out a teddy bear." Emma stated proudly.

"Good! The baby will need one. Oh I forgot to tell you. I had an appointment today." Amanda went to her bag and pulled out a sonogram. "I found out what I'm having."

"Aren't you having a baby?"

Olivia chuckled at Emma. "She is. She means she found out if it's a boy or a girl."

"Oh! What is it?"

"Well, I found out it's a boy."

"Yay! I wanted you to have a boy!"

"Oh really? Why is that?"

Emma blushed a little and shrunk in her chair. "Cuz I wanted to be the only baby girl." She admitted quietly, causing Amanda to chuckle.

"No matter what, you'll always be our baby girl." Olivia stated and Amanda agreed.

"But still. I'm happy."

"Me too." Amanda agreed. "I just need to pick out a name now."

"Not Fred!"

Olivia chuckled again. "I didn't think you liked Fred."

"I do! It's my nickname."

"Don't worry. He won't be named Fred."

"Do you have any names in mind?" Olivia asked. "Any names that mean something to you."

"Actually, for some reason, I've always loved the name Preston."

"Preston." Olivia stated, feeling the name. "I like it. Preston Rollins."

"Preston James Rollins." Emma let out. "I like the name James."

Amanda looked surprised. "I love it. Preston James Rollins."

"What about Preston James Benson some day?" Emma wiggled her eyebrows, causing both Amanda and Olivia to blush.

"Maybe one day."Amanda said and looked at Olivia, who smiled.

"Maybe." She agreed.

The three of them cleaned up the kitchen and spent the evening cuddled on the sofa watching movies. Once Emma fell asleep, Olivia took her to her room and tucked her into bed before going back to the living room. She and Amanda cuddled for a while before deciding to go to bed as well.

The next morning, Emma was up early and jumping into Olivia's bed. "Get up! The sun is up!"

"Just barely." Amanda groaned as she pulled Emma into the bed between her and Olivia. She put her hand over Emma's eyes. "Close your eyes and go back to sleep."

Emma swatted away the hand. "I can't! I'm already awake! My tummy wants bacon!"

"Tell your tummy to go to bed."

"Tell your tummy to wake up."

"Tell your mouth to be quiet."

"Tell your mouth to stop having smelly breath."

This caused all three to giggle and Amanda tickled Emma. "You little turd. You won that time. I guess I better go brush my teeth."

"You go brush your teeth and Mommy can go make bacon."

Olivia smiled at Emma. "Actually, how about you go get dressed and play your VTech game while Amanda and I get ready for the day. Then, we'll go out for breakfast before we go to the park."

"Okay!" Emma jumped out of the bed and padded off to her room.

"That will give us about a half hour." Olivia stated as she sat up and stretched. "You better get used to getting up early." She said as she reached over and rubbed Amanda's stomach. "Little Preston won't always sleep in."

"I know. I'm just a little crabby in the morning." Amanda leaned over and kissed Olivia. "Plus, she's so fun to tease."

"You two are very entertaining." Olivia admitted. "I love the relationship you have with her."

After making sure Emma was dressed and playing her game, Olivia and Amanda took a shower together - really enjoying themselves (wink wink) - before getting dressed and ready for the day.

"Get your coat, Emma. It's a bit chilly out this morning."

Olivia called as she got the bag of frozen peas to feed the ducks out of the freezer.

Amanda peaked in on Emma and frowned when she saw her struggling with her jacket. It wasn't the act that made her frown, but the words.

"Don't be stupid, Emma, you know how to zip." She just couldn't get it to latch "God you're so dumb! Olivia won't adopt you if she see's how dumb you are."

"Emma, that's so not true." Amanda said softly as she came into the room. "You're not stupid, you're not dumb, and Olivia will adopt you no matter what. It's just a zipper, honey."

Emma sighed and wiped at her eyes. "I just keep thinking I'm gonna mess things up. I try not to think it, but my dumb brain keeps thinking it."

Amanda helped with Emma's zipper and then started brushing her hair. "Your brain is not stupid, Emma. It thinks that way because of how others have treated you. It thinks Olivia will be the same. It's normal, honey, after what you've been through." She turned Emma to face her. "But when it does that, you tell that brain that it's wrong. Instead of calling yourself stupid or dumb, you tell yourself that you're smart and Olivia loves you."

"I try. I'll keep trying." Emma hugged Amanda. "Thank you."

After a breakfast enjoyed by all, the three went to the park. Emma had a blast feeding the ducks and even got a surprise when some swans came over and she was able to feed them. "Swans! Just like me!"

"Yes. Beautiful swans just like my beautiful Emma Swan." Olivia agreed.

"Emma Swan Benson." Emma corrected. "Well, soon at least."

"Yes. My Emma Swan Benson."

A few hours at the park and the bag of peas were gone. They stopped at the store and picked out not only a crib, but also a changing table, some clothes, a car seat, and various stuffed animals. Olivia paid for it all, insisting it was her pleasure to buy things for the baby. Of course, Amanda felt bad, but she knew she'd be able to pay Olivia back with things around the apartment and things for Emma.

The afternoon was spent putting everything together along with painting. By the end of the night, they were all exhausted, but the nursery was done. Emma was falling asleep in the tub during her bath, so she didn't fight going to bed afterwards.

"I love you, Mommy. I love you, Manda." She let out as she laid down.

"We love you, Emma." They both gave Emma hugs and kisses and ended up collapsing in Olivia's bed and falling asleep themselves. All in all, it was a very good day.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Read~Enjoy~Review** _

**Chapter 18**

The next few weeks flew by. Amanda got all moved in and everyone was adjusting to their new environments. Emma still went to Ms. Tracy's while Olivia went to work and Amanda worked from home. Most days, Amanda would pick Emma up so the two of them cold make dinner. Most of the time, Olivia was home for dinner, even if she had to go back afterwards.

Finally, the day Emma had been waiting for her whole life was here! The sun had just peaked through Emma's window when green eyes opened wide. She jumped out of bed and ran to the window, looking outside. She looked back at the clock and saw it was too early to go in by Olivia and Amanda. Olivia had put a smiley sticker on the '8' so Emma would know when she could go in by her. Of course, there were exceptions, but Emma knew that being excited wasn't one of them.

Emma went to the bathroom and did her business before looking in the mirror. "Today's the day, Emma. You're getting a forever home and a forever mommy. You've got a good thing going here so don't mess it up!"

Olivia had gotten up early, expecting that Emma would have done the same. Her own stomach was filled with excited little butterflies as she smiled at what lay ahead. She heard Emma go into the bathroom and listened just outside the door. Olivia really hoped that once the papers were signed and the judge announced her new name, that Emma would finally feel safe.

Emma brushed her hair, her hands shaking. She never thought she'd ever be adopted again, and by such a wonderful person. "They were wrong. They said no one would love me, but they were wrong." Emma smiled at herself in the mirror. "She loves you, Emma. Don't you dare mess this up. Don't do anything stupid to make her send you away."

On one hand, Olivia chuckled at hearing Emma's words, but on the other hand, she wished Emma wouldn't worry so much. There was no way she would ever send Emma back, but nothing she said seemed to ease the girl's fears. Softly, Olivia knocked on the door. "Emma? Honey can I come in?"

Emma opened the door with wide eyes. "Did I waked you up? I'm sorry, Mommy."

Olivia smiled softly and shook her head. "No, my love. You didn't wake me. I've been up for a while now."

She came into the bathroom and started brushing Emma's hair. "You see, today is a very exciting day for me and I found it hard to sleep." She winked at Emma and started putting her blonde curls into pig-tails.

Emma giggled and then played along. "It is? Why?"

"Well you see, I get to adopt my favorite little girl. Today, I get my daughter."

Emma smiled wide and when Olivia finished her hair, she turned and hugged the woman tight. "I can't wait for the judge to say that I'm yours."

Olivia picked Emma up and held her close. "You were mine from the moment I saw you. My heart was yours from the start."

Emma looked at Olivia with her bright, green eyes. "I love you so much, Mommy. Thank you for loving me."

Olivia couldn't help but tear up as she peppered Emma's face with kisses. "Thank you for letting me, Emma."

"I swear, you two do not appreciate sleep. You have a chance to sleep in and you're up at six?" Amanda joked as she leaned against the wall, rubbing her now 7 month pregnant belly. She couldn't believe how fast four months had passed with Emma in their lives and all the changes they made.

"We're both excited!" Emma called out. "It's our big day? Is you coming?"

Amanda came over and tapped Emma's nose. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Emma."

The blonde smiled brightly and shifted so she could hug both women. "I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! I hope it stays like this!"

"It will, Em. I swear it will." Olivia took Emma to the living room while Amanda went to start breakfast. She sat on the couch with Emma in her lap. "Emma? Do you trust me?"

"Yes. Of course."

"Do you believe that I tell you the truth?"

"Yes." Emma nodded, not sure where this was going.

"Then why don't you believe me when I say I'll never send you away?"

Emma let out a breath and looked down, not saying anything.

"I love you. I love you with all that I am and I'd do anything for you, Em. I wish you'd believe me."

Emma looked up when she heard the disappointment in Olivia's voice. Her eyes instantly filled with tears. She never meant to disappoint her. "I do believe you, Mommy. I know you love me, I can feel it."

"Then why do you worry so much about me not wanting you anymore? After all the times I've promised you that would never happen. You still worry that I'll send you away if you mess up."

Maybe it was wrong for Olivia to keep pushing the girl, but this was adoption day. Emma should know she was safe and Emma really wanted to know what more she could do to make her believe it. However, Emma thought Olivia was mad and she started breathing heavy, tears falling down her face.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm so stupid! I can't stop being scared, no matter how much I try not to be! I can't stop remembering everyone else giving me away! I can't stop the voices in my head telling me that you're gonna do what everyone else has done. I try! I try so hard, Mommy! I'm sorry I'm so bad. I'm sorry I make you mad or disappointed. I'm just...I'm sorry!"

Guilt instantly hit Olivia as Emma started sobbing. The little girl curled into a fetal position on the floor, rocking back and forth with her thumb in her mouth. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mommy, I sorry." Emma kept repeating. Amanda wiped her eyes as she watched from the kitchen, knowing that both Emma and Olivia would be feeling pretty low now.

"Oh Emma." Olivia let out and sat on the floor, pulling Emma into her lap. "I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have kept asking you that question." She rubbed Emma's back as the girl buried her head into her neck. "Emma love, please don't be sad. I'm not mad, I'm not disappointed. I made a mistake, Emma. I keep telling you that things take time and I should be telling myself that." She moved and cupped Emma's cheeks so she was looking at her. "You're not stupid, Emma. I know you're trying, I know you have all that bad stuff in your mind. I know that and I shouldn't have pushed you. I'm the stupid one, Emma. Not you."

Emma sniffed and got her breathing under control. "You're not stupid, Mommy." She said softly. She took a deep breath. "It takes time, Mommy, 'member? It takes time. You want me to feel safe, and I do. I do feel safe. I just still get scared. I get so scared but you know what? After I'm scared for a bit, I tell myself not to be. I tell myself that you're not gonna send me away. It just takes some time for me to 'member that."

Olivia kissed Emma's forehead,then both her cheeks. "I love you so much, Emma. I'm so sorry that I made you think I was upset. Can you forgive me?"

Emma nodded. "I forgive you." Emma wrapped her little arms around Olivia and hugged her tight. It was a fast meltdown and a fast recovery and Olivia knew it was probably that way because it was a special day. She had to remember not to push Emma so much, even if she just wanted to get some answers.

"Mommy? Can I wear my new outfit now?"

Olivia chuckled and wiped her face and then Emma's. "Not yet. Don't want to get what ever it is Amanda is making us all over you."

Emma smirked, she couldn't resist teasing Amanda. "What is she making? It smells kinda funny." She tried to wink at Olivia, but both eyes blinked, causing Olivia to chuckle.

"It does smell kind of funny. Just remember to pretend you like it and I'll sneak you something else later like we do with supper every night."

Emma's hands went to her mouth to try and hide her giggles.

'Hey now! You guys never complain about my food." Amanda gave a playful pout, glad the latest crisis was a fast one. "I slave over a hot stove and you guys are talking behind my back? Fine. No bacon for you, Fred."

Emma gasped dramatically. "You can't hold bacon from me! That's against the law!"

Olivia laughed and stood up, picking Emma up with her. "Okay, okay. I think we made enough of the joke." She put Emma down by the table and went behind Amanda, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her neck. "We love your food, baby. I promise."

Amanda grinned, flipping eggs in one pan and mixing the fried potatoes in the other. "Good. I do try, you know."

"Oh I know and I love you for it." Olivia smiled as she rubbed Amanda's belly. "Preston sure is active today. He'll be an early riser like Emma and me."

"Either that or he likes the smell of bacon."

"Like me!" Emma called out from the table. "I like bacon...and noodles!"

"Bacon and noodles? That sounds gross!" Amanda teased as she started filling plates with food.

Emma giggled. "Not together, silly. That's disgusting!"

Olivia poured coffee for her and Amanda and milk for Emma. The three chatted happily as they ate breakfast and though Emma seemed okay, Olivia couldn't shake the guilt she felt about earlier. She wouldn't bring it up, however, not now. She was determined to make the rest of the day a good one.

"Mommy? How's it gonna work today? Do I gotta swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Like on 'The People's Court'?"

Amanda chuckled as she sat back in her chair. "How do you know about 'The People's Court'?"

"Ms Tracy watches it when Ruby and me have nap time. I can hear it some days when I can't sleep."

"Ruby and I." Olivia corrected and then smiled. "Well, you should always tell the truth, Emma, but I'm not sure you'll have to say that today. I don't exactly know how today will work or what the judge will say, but I expect he or she will want to make sure you're happy with me and that you want to be my daughter."

"I do! I really, really do! Who all will be there?"

"Well it will be us three, and the judge. The court workers, your social worker Carol. I know Alex and Nick want to be there to support you if they don't have something else come up. Ms Tracy and Ruby are going to come and help us celebrate after court. Oh and Dr. Mason will be there also, to tell the judge how you're doing."

"Do you remember the first day we met and we took you to see Dr. West?" Amanda asked as she started cleaning up.

"Yeah. She was nice."

"She's going to be there too. She's so happy for you and Olivia."

"That's a lot of people!" Emma swallowed, taking it all in. "All those people care about me?"

Olivia put her hand on Emma's. "They do. We all do, Em. Everyone just wants to see you happy. Emma? Why are you crying?"

Emma sniffed and shrugged. "I just...I never had people who cared before."

Olivia pulled Emma into her lap. "You do now. You have so many people who care and who love you."

Emma smiled and cuddled into Olivia. "I'm so lucky."

A few hours later, Emma got out of the car and held Olivia's hand as she looked up the steps at the courthouse. It was mid August and hot outside. Emma had on an adorable green sundress with purple polka dots and purple shorts underneath as she wasn't yet used to sitting lady like. Her skin was a healthy sun-kissed tan and her blonde curls were pronounced more because of the humidity. She definitely was much healthier than when Olivia had first found her four months previously.

Olivia couldn't believe how much had changed in that time. Her life was so different now, and in a good way. Until Emma, and then her relationship with Amanda had changed, Olivia hadn't realized how lonely she had been. Not anymore. Now she was happier than ever before.

"Remind me never to get pregnant in the summer again." Amanda groaned as she joined the two after parking the car. Olivia chuckled and leaned over to kiss the blonde's cheek.

"It'll be worth it, love." She said softly. The women then looked at Emma. "You ready, Fred?"

Emma smiled and nodded. "I'm ready."

Even though Olivia knew who all would be there, it was really heartwarming to get off the elevators and see her and Emma's support system all standing in the hall and waiting. There was Nick, Alexandra, Dr. Mason, Dr. West, Carol, and even Finn had made it. Emma froze for a moment seeing all the faces looking at her. "Hi." She said softly.

Carol came over first. "Hello, Emma. Are you excited for this?"

"Yes! It's about time!"

They all chuckled and Olivia greeted the others. Dr. West came over and bent down. "Do you remember me, Emma?"

The girl nodded. "Yes. I don't have so many cuts or scars now!"

"Good. I knew Olivia would take care of you. I'm so glad you're happy now, Em. You deserve it."

Before more could be said, they were called into the court room. Emma stayed close to Olivia, holding her hand the whole time. The judge came in and wasn't scary looking at all. "Good morning." He said as he smiled. "I love these cases. I've read all the files and records for this one, and I admit, I am so proud to be able to be the one to call you two a family." He said, looking at Olivia and Emma.

"Emma. You sound like a very brave little girl. I am sorry that our system had failed you, and I mean that Emma. I am so glad you found Olivia. Tell me, are you happy?"

Emma nodded and then cleared her throat. "Yes, your majesty."

A round of laughter filled the courtroom, including from the judge.

"What? Mommy, what's so funny?"

Olivia stroked Emma's cheek. "It's your honor. Not your majesty."

"Oh." She looked at the judge. "Sorry, your honor."

"It's quite alright. I happen to like majesty." He winked. "You want to be Olivia's daughter?"

"Yes, very much!"

"So if I say that you are now family, that you are her daughter and she is your mother, you will be happy with that choice for all the years to come?"

Emma nodded wildly. "Yes!" Her eyes filled with tears. "No one has ever wanted me, your honor, and Olivia does. She's acted like a mommy since the first day I met her." She wiped her eyes. "I didn't even know what it felt like to be loved until I met Olivia. I never wanna ever leave her."

Pretty much everyone was wiping their eyes at this. This five year old girl just said some of the most heartwarming things with such passion.

The judge cleared his throat, trying to get past the lump in his throat. He then looked at Olivia. "You have helped so many victims in the last sixteen years, Ms. Benson, but this one may just be the most passionate one yet. I am honored to be the one to grant this adoption." He then had the two stand. "Emma Swan Benson, I now grant this adoption. You are from hence forward the daughter of Olivia Benson."

"Hence Forward!" Emma let out as she hugged Olivia tightly. "My mommy forever!"

Olivia picked Emma up and hugged her tight. Her daughter. Her perfectly imperfect daughter.


End file.
